Does any one else feel this?

Question

Any of you feel like this.

I feel so guilty when my 1 yr old stay over the grandmothers for a day or two. My hubby says you need to get rest and have a day to you self, but I feel so guilty.

Answer 1

We did at first, but you learn to appreciate it. You do need, from time to time, some free time or a night out. It will help you mentally.

Answer 2

stop feeling guilty!! a grandparent-grandchild relationship is
a natural and god given right that every human on this planet should be fortunate to be gifted with in their lifetimes.

yes, of course you need, have earned, and deserve a break, but don't think or look at it in that way. the healthy and constructive qualities that both the grandparents and the grandchildren receive and absorb when they spend this time together is so vital and absolutly a genuine and good thing. don't let your husband or anyone else tell you different. there is nothing negative or unhealthy about giving your mother, father, and your children all this ingredient in their lives. quite the opposite! grandchildren are grandparents' reward for being good, unconditional parents in the lives and years they have lived already. they have earned this. and children grow to be much more healthier, fulfilled, confident, and happier adults overall when they are gifted with the treatment of a grandparent. there are experiences and emotions that children can get from and only from loving grandparents and the time they spend with them!! and they'll be better parents themselves someday because of these moments.

i am a mother, a grandmother, and a teacher who teaches emotionally disturbed children, so i'm speaking on actual experiences and observations from my personal and professional life. and you want to know something else?

most of the students that i encounter were denied loving, or had very little of relationships from any adults parents or grandparents, in their families. alot of my students have been abused and mistreated by their own parents because these same parents were not emotionally stable or mentally and physically rested themselves. now, still feel guilty?

the only time any circumstance in someone's life grows into a negative or destructive concept, is when our human nature or greed gets the best of us and we drowned ourselves in the luxuries or pleasures of them. but hey, even chocolate or too many new pairs of shoes has the same potential, now doesn't it?
and it doesn't sound to me that you have very much of a chance of abusing the enjoyment and healing of your personal time when your kids spend a couple of nights at grandma's. realize that being part of a good mom (and i can tell you'rea great mom) is giving your children the gift of grandma's love.

hope this helps! take care and good luck!

Answer 3

I have. Sometimes still do. Just make sure you give them extra lovins when you get your 1year old back. Gees I wish I had someone that would do that for me. Take it, Accept it and don't regret it!! Soak it up and love it up....there are mothers out there that don't get that lucky! When I did have the time and chance to do that stuff...having my moments it really really bothered me badly, and I really regretted it badly. Now I have a new one and don't even get an offer or a chance to have my own time. I wish I could truly even have 10min. alone in a nice HOT BATH!! My older two come running into the bathroom just to tattle on one another or the dad comes in asking questions or just to use the bathroom....TALK ABOUT NO PRIVACY!

Answer 4

Good parents feel like that, but you also have to remember, it can be such a great experience for your child and/or the grandparents. Everyone gets overwhelmed from time to time, so taking breaks, even if you haven't lost it yet, are great for your mental health. Just think, by taking a little time for yourself once in a while, you put yourself in such better shape to give your children your all the rest of the time.

Answer 5

I feel guilty about it for sure. My husband and I have been working late hours on our home remodel (not really a safe environment for our little girl to run around) so she's been staying with grandma and her aunt until about 8pm every night. I feel so rushed when we pick her up because we hurry, hurry, hurry to get everybody ready for bed. I feel like she's my kid and my responsiblity, I shouldn't keep pawning her off on everybody else, but at the same time, I know there is definately a need for alone time and peace and quiet too. We have to take care of ourselves to take care of our babies.

Answer 6

I felt so too until i realized how much rest i got while she was gone and was happy to let grandma have some time with her, even the 30 min trip to the store was good so i could get some cleaning done.

Answer 7

It is not feeling of guilt I suggest but rather it is some sort of separation anxiety. You are thingking all of the concerns when your child is away from your sight.Different things get into your mind with this temporary separation. It is a normal maternal feeling not unless you got a negative motive of sending your child for a day which will definitely turn you guilty.
I got this feeling being away from my young child for few hours.

Answer 8

You are missing him basically. These feelings will even out and eventually go away as he gets older and goes to visit grandma and grandpa more often by himself. I felt the same way with my son. Your husband is right, have fun being without the baby while it lasts. Go out to dinner or take in a movie.

Answer 9

i used to fell that way. I thought "he is my child and my resopsibility and I should be caring for him". But after he was i think 6-7 months old I got tired of hearing "you need to let him go more often" or " we need tome for us(from my husband)". So I started letting him go to one grandparent one week end and the other grandparent another weekend. I don't fell quilty any more but I do miss him greatly. I want him to be secure when he is away from home. And if they don't learn that while they are young they are NEVER going to want to sleep away from home.

Answer 10

At first yes, but once you experience that free time to spend together and do some individual things you'll learn to appreciate it. Your child will also learn alot from their grandparents and love going over to get spoiled. It's a win/win if you ask me.

Answer 11

If I was in your place, I too would've felt guilty.
The child is only a 1yr old lad. I can't think of my child staying elsewhere [if he is aged 1].
won't he miss me?
at another place, will he ever feel the same without me?
no, i'll never be able to do that to my son.