Teen mother lives in mom's house with baby and boyfriend- should mom kick them out?

Question

My sister has a 1&1/2 yr old baby. Lives with my mom. She's19 boyfriend is 21. When she found out she was pregnant she was not with her boyfriend. She was desperatly trying to get him back. Did she get pregant on purpose? I saw her smirk when she found out. He came back. My family offered her tons of support -"terminating the prgnancy" or adoption. She refused. She promised to move out with her boyfriend once she finished H.S. My mother is a single mom with 2 highschool boys at home a 29 yr old who won't leve. Now a 19yr old with a baby. Sister has now moved in her boyfriend. My mom has no privacy and she pays for the meals and the housing. Thier friends are always there. Sister refuses to work claiming she can't do work & college. Although boyfriend has a job, NO ONE there contributes financially toward the cost of living. I think the only way to make them stand on thier own feet & be strong for thier baby is to kick them all out- except the 2 H.S. kids. Am I wrong?

Answer 1

A tough love situation is in order on ur mom's part ur sister needs to get her lazy butt off the couch/quit watchin' soaps and help ur mom out cleaning the house, making dinner and showing ur mom she's gratful for her help and the boyfriend should be out of the house looking for a place to live for the three of them. Ur mom needs to start charging rent and see how fast they get their act together!!!! Good luck talk 2 ur mom about ur feelings!!!!

Answer 2

I am a young parent and I moved out of the house at 19 when my child came. I believe that the daughter and the baby should be able to live at home because she needs all the help she can get especially if she is going to college. Who knows how long the father will be around? They aren't married and that is more of a reason she should become self sufficient. The father should either contribute or start saving his earnings into a joint account so they can both get a place to live. The daughter has made a mistake however to make her learn the hard way is not the answer. Remember the its not the baby's fault her mother isn't self sufficient and it takes a village to raise a child.

Answer 3

well, your sister is full of Sh!t. I work almost full time (37 hours a week) go to COLLEGE full time (14 hours this semster alone) and takr care of my daughter, whose father does not contribute. I am 22, with a four year old. I do live with my mohter, but I try very hard. She does pay for food and housing, but anything else is up to me.

Your mother is an enabler. She will not be strong enough to kick anyone out. But she can make things very unpleasant for them. She should only provide meals for people who are under the age of 18, including your sisters baby, because why should she suffer.

Then, she should have another rule, if you are over the age of 18, you must work AT LEAST 20 hours a week at a real money making job.

There are bills for anyone over the age of 21. Each person over the age of 21 should contribute at LEAST 20% of their take home pay towards household expenses.

And lastley, if there is no effet given, there will be none taken.

Answer 4

That's a really tough one because there is a baby involved and it sounds like your sister is a really selfish person and on her own wouldn't take very good care of the baby.Your Mom cant keep supporting her and giving her a free ride, The house must be very hectic, especially with people in and out. There is probably some amount of drug use too. I think your Mom should at the least kick her boyfriend out. He has no right to be there, why should he live for free? Why doesn't he help pay for food and the cost of living? He needs to go, 100%... out the door. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 5

The problem will only get worse, once they see that they have a free ride forever at your mother's expense. She has helped them and that was very nice of her, but now she is not helping them to become independent functioning people. This will be a house of horrors soon when the baby grows up or more babies come along. I have a friend who is taking care of her 3 granddaughters and her 37 year old son. Live in her home is very stressful and she gets chest pains. I asked her if she planned to discuss sex with two of the granddaughters who have already started their periods. I don't think she has the energy to take care of her great grandchildren, and she deserves a happy peaceful retirement.
If your mom wants to volunteer to take care of the baby on weekends or evenings so your sister can at least begin a part-time job, it would be her decision. Meanwhile, she is growing up a garden of parasites.

Answer 6

If this were my family I'd charge the boyfriend rent if he wanted to live there. If he didn't want to pay call the police. He has no legal standing to live in the house for free. The mother and child are a different issue being related I'd probably feel some responsibility for their safety. If the 29 yr. old has a job s/he should be gone or paying rent. I'd treat him/her the same as the boyfriend.

Answer 7

If she has time to have her friends over to the house all of the time, then she has time for a job. I assume that your mother is also the live-in babysitter?

These two freeloaders need to start behaving like adults. There is no reason that they can't pay your mother something in rent. Do they help around the house? Do they do the grocery shopping? Do they do anything to help out?

Your mom has every right to kick them out - if she wants to. Unfortunately, it's not your mother asking this question. Perhaps she sees the situation differently? From what you've said it does sound like they're taking advantage of her, but you don't say how your mother feels about the situation.

Talk to your mother and tell her how you feel about the whole situation. Tell her you don't like seeing her being used in this way, and you think she needs to stand up for herself. Tell her you'll help in any way necessary.

Answer 8

everyone is old enough to get off their @$$ and do something kick them all out (except the high school kids) if she wants to make sure her grandchild is okay then keep the 19yr old and tell her the boyfirned has to go it is too much of a strain on your mother and they were grown enough to make a baby they are grown enough to have jobs. I'm 21 and I live on the second floor of my mothers house I pay her rent and she still wont let my boyfirend move in and I dont think that would change if I got pregnant neither she would tell me if you want to live with him it wont be here!!!

Answer 9

It sounds crowded and hectic besides. My brother married a woman who already had a young daughter. They have one daughter together also. The older girl got pregnant at 15, and my brother and his wife gave room and board to their daughter and her boyfriend moved in for a while. He offered to marry her but she didn't want to. They broke up and she is raising her daughter at home with her parents. All I know is, they love her. In your case, it seems to me the very least everyone can do is get together and talk about chipping in to help your mother. Right is right, if they are earning money they should put a percentage toward paying bills and buying food. If they aren't earning money they should cook and clean and do maintenance on the house. There are no good excuses not to set some rules down.

Answer 10

You are not wrong at all....if her bf works then he should be contributing....it doesn't make any sense that they are abusing you mom's help and are being so inconsiderate....she needs to give the 30-60 days to find their own place...let them work it out...I was a teen mother also and I got my emacipation and stood on my own too feet....college is still possible for anyone.....let them sort it out they are grown ups...and the 29 year old??? Give him the same amount of time....as a matter of fact to make sure they follow through....have her file formal eviction notices that way the HAVE to by law.