I went out to eat with three friends. One of them is obese and another one of my friends who is suppose to have a high IQ, called all heavy people 'fat', right in front of her. I looked at my heavy friend and she looked bothered. Yes, I know she has issues with food, but isn't this a little insensitive?
2006-08-21 04:45:53 · 39 answers · asked by Elizabeth S 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My friend has a huge issue with food and hypothyriodism. If you don't know what that is, it is a medical disorder where your system works extremely slow. If you have hyperthyriodism than your body works extremely fast and you can be very slim. Her issue with food is depression. She lost her parents within one year and her brother when he was a child so she's all alone. Wouldn't you feel a little sad?
Well, my friend eats to compensate for the lack of family. Calling her 'fat' would only hurt her, not make her do anything about her weight. (Also, I'm not talking about me--please, really read the question and then answer!)
2006-08-23 03:59:28 · update #1
It sounds like your friend has some issues with her own image and self esteem.Calling someone fat,ugly,etc. does nothing but pointlessly hurt or embarrass the victim of this verbal abuse. In your friend's case she probably looks for negative things in other people in order to feel better about herself. In response to people saying overweight people take comfort in food, don't exercise, and the like, yes these are causes of obesity but so are genetic predispositions, certain medications, lengthy convalescent periods. Before you exercise your freedom of speech, please make sure it isn't accompanied by freedom from thought.
2006-08-21 07:21:53 · answer #1 · answered by Chris T 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would never do that.... I think it shows a bad behaviour and it is not polite either.... Maybe the "fat" person loves food very much but what if a phycological situation like depression or an illness caused the extreme weight???? Whatever the case I do not feel like I am the one who will judge someone from external appearance, it is not my business to do so....
2006-08-21 05:01:51 · answer #2 · answered by C.C. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't feel bad but since they are your friends, I suppose you could find a euphemism for the word 'Fat' to make it sound a little more positive. They know they are fat and it is the truth but take for consideration, do they like it that they are obese? You should encourage them to exercise and lose weight. He/she shouldn't call them fat if they don't have to.
You all are friends. Use the word Fat only to motivate them to exercise. Some people need to be harsh to get a move on exercising.
2006-08-21 04:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by alienhumanhybrid 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was insensitive. If you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
What does your friend know about the other? It might be a medical problem!
Was it just insensitivity or are the two them in tiff?
I would let your friend know that you don't appreciate her making fund of your obese friend like that.
2006-08-21 04:59:46 · answer #4 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you would think people would use the golden rule a little better then they do. if your friend has an eating disorder and someone calls her fat it could just swith them to the opposite extreme of eating disorders like anorexia. tell your other friend that they were a complete jerk. there are ways to word things so that they are appropriate and ways to word them so that they are cruel. with their massive iq they should know the difference.
2006-08-21 05:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by moi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is insensitive, but it also has a ring of truth. I myself fall in the overwieght category, but when a friend or someone near me says that kind of thing, I don;t take it personally.
I take insults more personally from people who do not know me and just judge on the outward appearance.
2006-08-21 04:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Wild seed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a high IQ doesn't necessarily correlate to being sensitive.
Is your obese friend a health risk? Sensitive or not, your friend is correct in calling all heavy people fat. What do you want to call them?
What did your big friend order?
2006-08-21 04:59:47 · answer #7 · answered by r0bErT4u 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion as solicited by a Querient on Yahoo Answers. I am not a Dr. or a professional psychologist. If someone does not like my opinion that is their problem to deal with, but keep in mind that a question was asked of what looks to be over a million people, all of whom will vary in their responses.
Yes, but a spade is a spade. And a rose by any other name would smell as sweet? I myself need to lose about 50 pounds, and I have fat. Cellulite whatever. I don't degrade people for being fat, but most people who are overweight, just use food as a band-aid or crutch. Deal with your issues, exercise, and get healthy.
Addendum:
The last sentence is advice to just about anybody. You said your friend was depressed, so she should work on that. She shouldn't eat to make herself feel better, she should go to therapy and work it out. If she is in therapy, good. However, if it isn't working, it might be time to find a new therapist. As per my message to you, I am very familiar with psychiatric care, and the good it can do, however people have to want to be helped as well. My childhood was a horror movie of rape and abuse, making most of my life dysfunctional, but now after a lot of hard work, I am a fully functional and productive member of society.
In your message to me, you told me that your friend uses food as a crutch. I personally disagree with using anything as a crutch to get through life, but maybe she should try substituting her feel good habit with something more positive. You also didn't mention she had a medical history, but I also know there are treatments available. I don't know if she has tried all of them, nor am I "blaming" her for being fat...BUT! Over 80% of America is overweight, and we all don't have a thyroid issue. I mean how many times have we all been to McDonald's and seen the overweight person eating way more than they should? Portion control is a major element in weight control.
If someone engages in an unhealthy behavior to make themselves feel better, isn't that wrong? For example, when I was a teenager, I cut/self-mutilated. Everytime it happened, everyone freaked out, but that was my coping mechanism. I ended up in years of treatment to stop the harmful behavior. No one gets horrified when people eat, so it is a more accepted coping mechanism, but no less destructive.
So, I still stand by my opinion that a fact is a fact. I still firmly believe is someone has psychological issues they should take personal responsibility and work toward overcoming them. I also believe that you asked this question knowing the responce you wanted to hear and you didn't like the fact that some people didn't give it to you.
2006-08-21 04:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Sterling 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes I would feel bad calling heavy person fat.
Calling a heavy person fat wether they are your friends, family or not Does Not motivate them to exercise no matter what you think.
It just makes them feel worse about themselves and makes them want to eat even more. Calling people fat is disrespectful, mean and hurtful. It just makes their self esteem feel lower about them self.
2006-08-21 06:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by jrealitytv 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm overweight myself and do not take offense to it BUT it depends on who is saying it. I don't think a random stranger should call me "fat" but when my family says it or friends say it, I know they do not say it to hurt me.. it's the truth for God's sake! You have to be realistic! It's like saying you don't want a blonde person to be called blonde... you are what you are. Besides, YOU got fat all on your own, maybe the truth will make you realize you need to do something about it.
2006-08-21 04:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋