child support and parental rights in california?

Question

I'm in California. I'm 27 and I had sex a few times with this girl I liked. She got pregnant now sueing me for full custody and support. She saids its not personal and only business and good for the baby and in her statement made it sound like I was irresponsible. Well i'm not mentally, financially, or emotionally able to raise a child but can i turn the tables around her and say she is harassing me and bring evidence to show them we don't get along. She keeps saying it's not about us but about the baby. Which is stupid. I don't want a kid and I wanted her to have an abortion. Her choice her responsiblity. I haven't even seen the kid, my sister has and yes, the mother has invited me to see her and i was going to go the weekend she was born but didn't. Now this is the worst thing to happen to my family. We're Jewish. How can I not pay child support and give up my parental rights if she isn't married? Can I make her look like a harasser? email me - [e-mail]

we have a dna test proving i'm the father and she paid for it....now she ask I pay her back. She also saids she doesn't want me in her life but won't deny me from seeing my child. I'm confused? if she doesn't want me in her life, why does she want me her the childs life. Can't she just find another guy to be her father...i can't be a father...she saids the kid will know the different between her biologicial dad and nonbiological dad....if you don't want involvement with someone than what is the propose to do all the stuff she's doing if its really for the kid?

she saids she did the dna test for my peace of mind but she knew the results would be positive before it was taken. So did my sister and friends.

Let me add, in my respondent papers I granted her physical and legal custody and gave up my right to visitation. I thought about this for awhile, and feel this is what's best. Me and the mother don't really know each other. We casually saw each other a few times, but were not involved in a serious relationship, nor dating, nor even frequently seeing each other. Althought i told my friends i reallyliked her and we were dating. I was not told by her about the pregnancy until around december. Therefore i was never involved in the decision of abortion, adoption, having the child etc.... She did tell me in september and october but I didn't believer her until the birth of the baby. I still didn't believe it was mine. I told her I felt the best choice for her was either abortion or adoption to a two parent household. I was abandon by my real mom so I know being a single parent doesn't work. I was raised by my dad and grandma.

I am a college drop out with severe learning disabilities. I left school to play soccer and pursue a comedy career. I can't hold a steady job and my income is based upon three kinds of work:
Coach soccer at summer camp $1300, high school soccer coach $4,000, and club soccer coach $4,600 per yr. In total I make about $9,900 a year.
I do not wish them any ill will. I am stating that I am not mentally, emotionally, or financially ready to assist in raising a child. I can barely support myself in all those ways. I wish them well, however, I can't be a part of their lives. I can't be a father....I need any way to get out of this. My family is involved now and my sister got attached to the baby instantly. I'm trying to make it look like the girl hacked my myspace account so I can find cause for her to look bad....I have emails and texts from her because i know she isn't going to use anything against me

this is my myspace account.... http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=640017

send me a message there...

This is hers and she suppostedly was hacked but she saids the myspace and legal stuff with the child are seperate and she will not bring any of the hacking and harassment into a court. She is thinking idiotically huh? http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=6298578

One more thing....she called my stepmom and told her about the child because she said it was their right to know. My sister told my dad. I never told them till a month after she was born and they confronted me and all hell breaks loose. Technically, the child isn't anything to my step mom because I ain't her real son and so she isn't her real grandson, but i have all her emails, texts, and everything documented to prove in court she is harassing me.

so i'm pretty much stuck and I have no options and choices..i can't get out of being a parent and paying child support...that sucks! why do women get all the choices us men get nothing!

I called her and wished her a effin mothers day and gave her gifts for her baby shower. I didn't go but my sister did and she invited me too. What more does she want? Does she want me to move in with her? She saids she doesn't want me in her life so she has no right to sue me.

Answer 1

I'm in California and have recently been through the family court system in the last few years and know more than I want to about it.

First of all, what does you being Jewish have to do with anything? That made no sense.

Secondly, what does "you don't get along" have to do with anything? So what if you don't get along - you think that gets you out of paying child support? To be blunt, you don't sound like the sharpest knife in the drawer.

And your claim she is "harassing" you? Are you insane? Do NOT go in and tell the judge you have "evidence" that you "don't get along" and she is "harassing" you or your hearing will likely end right there. Judges can do whatever they want and order whatever they want and if you say ridiculous crap like that, you will lose instantly and badly and probably have to pay her attorney's fees in the bargain. She is not harassing you, she filed for child support, and she has a legal right to do.

And as for your comment "if she doesn't want me in her life, why does she want me her the childs life"...um because she is being a GROWN-UP. Your child and this women are Two. Entirely. Separate. People. Think about it for awhile and try to grasp the concept.

As for this question: "How can I not pay child support and give up my parental rights if she isn't married?" ANSWER: You can't. I know because I looked into getting rid of my daughter's dad. The answer was clear: the state of California will not give up one father for a child unless there is another father to take his place. If she marries and her husband requests to adopt the child, then yes, you can terminate your rights.

That said, I sort of agree if you don't want the kid, you shouldn't be forced to be around. I think it's detrimental for the kid, frankly, to have some half hearted flaky dad around who doesn't show up for visits half the time and is a constant disappointment. The courts forced my ex to be a dad and he never wanted to either. It's better to have no dad at all, IMO. You don't deserve that baby, and she deserves someone who will love her.

Answer 2

You had sex with her. Im sure you were aware that there is always a chance that can end in pregnancy. Trying to get you to see your child and pay child suppoet is not harassment, and if you file a suit you are just going to piss the judge off and make it harder for yourself. There is absolutley nothing you can do to get out of child support unless another man adopts the child. As far as why does she want you to see the baby- even if she can't stand you and doesn't want you in her life, she wants you in the baby's because you are the dad. She probably doesn't want the child to later be hurt and wonder why daddy didn't want them. If your mom and sister see the baby, it sounds like it's not the worst thing that could have happened to your family, it's the worst thing that could have happened to you. If you are this ignorant and immature- you're right, the baby is better off without you. You still need to Man up and give her the child support.

Answer 3

DNA evidence says you are the biological father, which means you have to pay. Nobody can force you to have a relationship with the child or the child's mother, but you can't get out of your financial obligations. Not sure what your religious beliefs have to do with anything, but you should definitely learn how to operate a condom before you jump in the sack with anyone else.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness you some of you men are pathetic.
If you did not want any kids you should not have sex...or at least use some protection...she did not get pregnant on her own. It takes two people to make a baby.

She is not harassing you...she is making sure you do what you are suppose to do and that is pay child support. SHe is handling her business and I applaud her for that. She is right it is not about you and her...it is about that child. Just because you wanted her to have an abortion does not mean she had to...but it was your choice to have sex with her and not use any protection. The judge going to laugh in your face for real.

Yes you can give up your parental rights, that means you need to hire yourself an attorney and while you are waiting for the paperwork to finalize you will have to pay back childsupport from the day the child was born.

Let this be a lesson learn...do not have sex if you do not want any kids and if you are going to have sex then learn to use some protection...call condoms and use them right so they do not break or tear.

Answer 5

I'm glad you openly ADMIT you are not ready & you do not want this kid...however you made the choice when you slept with her, you can't CHANGE your childs BLOOD you are the DAD. sHE IS TOTALLY RIGHT in saying she dose not want you but it is ABOUT YOUR KID hey buddy IT IS ABOUT THE KID. Even if you never talk to the mom you should at least see your own child it's not only her kid I HOPE TO GOD somewhere is your twisted thoughts you know THIS IS NOT JUST HER BABY. I think it's sorry and sad you want to USE something against her she is not HARRASING YOU she wants to know when your going to act like a dad THAT SEEMS to be NEVER. At lesast out of the two of you the baby is with the smarter one and was not aborted and abanded by BOTH parents She sounds like a great mom I wish your kid the best juat sad your too young and immature to be there 4 her as she grows up. the kid and the silly myspace and harrasment are totally diffrent thing GROW UP DUDE.

Answer 6

I don't want to bash you... I'm sure you will be getting plenty of that. BUT, the child is yours. If you don't find a way to support it financially and in other ways, you will probably regret it down the road. You have a child now and you should be happy that your girlfriend chose not to abort (kill) the child. You are a father now. Be the best one you can. The rewards will come down the road in ways that you probably can't imagine. Believe me, I know. I have five great kids. I would never trade any of them for anything.

Sex is for pleasure, but it was also designed for pro-creation and no amount of condoms or "protection" will guarantee you can altar the purpose of the sexual act. Obviously, it was designed for a man and his wife. I suggest you save sex for marriage, and enjoy what you have been blessed with now, a woderful little boy or girl.

Answer 7

You have lost your damn mind. If you dont wanna play daddy then you shouldnt be out having unprotected sex. The bottom line is you are the father and will have to pay child support. If you decide to not have a physical relationship with YOUR child thats your problem and you will live to regret it. YOU had options but YOU decided to not wrap up your d i c k....oh well too bad for you and to think you are asking us how to get you off the hook. You are a loser and its great you already know that. I hope the court throws the book at your sorry asss.

Answer 8

I don't know the laws there but here in indiana if you give up your parental rights you still have to pay child support so if you are looking to not pay child support then i would make sure what the laws are about it first and like one of the previous answerers said if you didn't want her to get pregnant than you shouldn't have had sex your 27 grow up a little!

Answer 9

You can give up your parental rights but that doesn't give up your financial obligation. There is no way to get out of paying child support. You help make the kid, now be a man and support it. It doesn't matter if you wanted her to have an abortion, ultimately it is her decision.

Answer 10

No. Even if you give up your parental rights you still must help provide for the child. He sounds like a coward and an idiot who is trying to convince you that he does not have to do his fair share in raising the child financially.