My mother and fiance can't seem to get along we have been together for 4 yrs now. For the first three years everything was great then **** hit the fans when my fiance's plant closed down he was off work for 6 months until he found a job again. In the mean time my mom was bad mouthing my fiance to the family. Well it got back to us we had a big blow out I thought eveything was patched up but my mom continues to run her mouth. I love this man and want to marry him but all this crap has me contiuning to wait it out. I just want my mom and him to at least talk. He doesn't even want to be around her and when they are around each other neither talk. Help!!!!!!!!
2006-08-21 03:35:33 · 15 answers · asked by speparm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First you need to find the root of the problem why your mom is like that. She might be trying to be protected and trying to find anything wrong with your finance so you do not marry him. Then it might also be she can not let go of you on any hand. You need to make your only decision, it is best to just ask your mom WHY and tell her you love her and its hurting..
2006-08-21 03:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Daniela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems that your mother is wondering if he will be able to provide for you. Off work for six months without a job, maybe he didn't try hard enough or doesn't have the skills. Maybe she thinks he was living off you and is taking advantage of you.
There must be something that set her off. Maybe you should talk to her and ask her point-blank what she has against your fiance. If she can't give any good reasons, then you'll just have to marry him but keep him away from the family.
2006-08-21 03:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Pandak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much trouble as she may be causing, your mother probably only wants the best for you.
You didn't provide a lot of information in your question, but it seems like she has concerns about whether he will be a good provider, will be able to support a family, and so on.
Try to discuss it with her calmly. Find out what she doesn't like about your fiance. Don't argue with her about it, just get the information.
After you have her answers, take some time to think about them and discuss them with your fiance.
Then, take your fiance and your mother out to dinner (important -- a neutral environment for all of you), and try to get them talking to each other. Try to steer the conversation to any plans he might have for education, career, etc. Talk about how stable his current job is, what opportunities there might be for advancement, how his job can lead to better jobs in the future. Talk about your and your fiance's plans for ensuring you have a stable life together. Try to answer her concerns.
Above all, don't get defensive or argumentative; just listen and talk calmly. If that doesn't work, you'll know you've done your best.
2006-08-21 03:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by johntadams3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even have that discussions with her. You're her daughter you're not in a good position to require her to make ammends. Just brush her off for a month of two, no contact, don't return her calls. Let her understand that if push comes to shove your heart is with your man. Then get back in touch with her and explain to her that you needed some time away from her to show support to the man you love. If she gets how this is going to work try letting her back into your life. If she's still going to be rude to your fiance give her another time-out.
2006-08-21 04:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by W0LF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are between a rock & a hard place. If your fiance is working and has found a good job, then your mother iis in the wrong. You need to sit her down & tell her you are marrying him and if she continues you will have no alternative but to sever ties with her. Good Luck
2006-08-21 03:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let my mom know that no matter she thought or said it wouldn't change anything about the way my fiance and I felt for each other. The only thing that has happened as result for her voicing her opinion is to drive a wedge between your mother- daughter relationship. If she really cared about you and your feelings she would keep her opinions to herself; grin and bare it.
2006-08-21 03:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by bown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell mom to mind her own business....you are an adult and can make your own decisions. As much as it will hurt you are going to have to decide what you want more...marry the man you love or make mom happy. I'm not saying choose between your mother and your fiance' but you have to stand up for yourself and him. Believe me, she'll come around when she realizes that you are serious.
2006-08-21 03:48:05 · answer #7 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i will b the first to say that love overcomes everything...maybe not right now but in the long run she will come around....my parents have been together now for more than 32 yrs, and my g-ma still talks SH** on my dad,but after awhile u need to b happy and she needs to realize that u r grown and u deserve to b happy. HEY EVERYONE HITS A ROUGH ROAD SOMETIMES........GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS
2006-08-21 03:47:16 · answer #8 · answered by jennifer m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cling on a min. at the start you probably did the incorrect ingredient and went crying on your mom and because she is your mom she replaced into upset with him for upseting you. you've stated mom do no longer say something to him it rather is between him and that i it rather is in basic terms on the 2nd i want you to convenience me and that's all. although argument you have could be between you and him no longer contain your mom. i do no longer think of he stated something impolite to her he in basic terms stated no longer something is incorrect, he did no longer tell her to wander off or say a impolite be conscious to her, i think of in case you enable your loved ones to get in contact on your relationship now think of the topics you have once you marry. Time to advance up and face your subjects with your fiance and doubtless time to go out and get a p.c.. of your individual with him and your mom desires to stay out of any issues.
2016-09-29 12:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Elope
2006-08-21 03:44:27 · answer #10 · answered by Veghead251 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋