My son's behavior and attitude may soon earn him a spanking. What is the best way to prepare a switch?

Question

He's 13 and this spanking is long overdue. I have heard of single switch and several tied together. One person suggested soaking it before using it. It's all complicated and contradictory. If you have any experience with a switch please tell me how to best do it. Thanks.

Answer 1

13 might be too late to introduce a spanking.

Answer 2

You should never use a switch on a child. It can cause marking and injury. I'm not saying don't spank. But spanking does not involve a switch or a belt.

If you truly are convinced that spanking is what's necessary here (and at age 13, I'm not sure that's the case) then I would suggest using a paddle. By "paddle" I mean the type of paddle that has an elastic string and rubber ball attached - but obviously remove the string, ball and staple. Wrap the whole paddle in duct tape for durability. Only swat on the padded area of his bottom and make sure he's wearing clothing (like shorts) when you swat. This sort of spanking delivers a sting with no risk of injury or mark on the child... and sends a firm message without being abusive.

My suggestion would be, for a 13 year old boy, to first remove privileges... ground him... have him write an essay about his behavior... try counseling... there are many options other than spanking, but if you choose it, do it safely and without anger. Walk away and calm down if you need to before administering any swats. You need to be in control of yourself if you want to be a respected authoritarian and disciplinarian for your child.

Answer 3

NEVER ,NEVER use an instrument to spank a child.There is an increased risk of injuring the child.A spank with an open hand on the derierre will do the job.I think a spanking is only used as a last resort.Never allow a child's negative behaviour to accumulate so you lose control.Address each situation as it arises. You don't say exactly what the problem is so it is difficult to give any real input.Sometimes if you sit down with the child and ask them how they think a situation could have been handled better it allows for discussion.

Answer 4

Chances are if he's 13 and you havent spanked him yet you won't! You also just can't start spanking a 13 year old when he's never had one before, it has to be something learned and routine punishment for bad behavior when they are toddlers other wise this is going to be pointless if you start now. I would try grounding him from his fave things or other punishments, take away what he loves to make him check his attitude.

Answer 5

I have 4 children. 12 to 1 1/2 I started spanking when they are 1 not 13. at betwwen 1 and 6 is when they were spanked... my oldest 2 cant tell you when they got their last spanking... they say ma'am and sir most of the time take out the trash when asked... however when friends are around they tend to get sassy... then I limit that friends time with my children.

you have to be careful spanking a child as old as 13, dont provoke him to anger... thats biblical... yes the bible say for children to obey and honor your parents, but it also says for parents not to provoke your children to rath..

However back to your orginal question... a switch... we always selected a long straight limb as possible... stripped it of any leaves and smaller pieces growing out from it...

Answer 6

What was this thing your child did that drove you to this conclusion?

Get a switch. Prepare it however you wish. Then use it on your own arm. Now think about your own child whom I assume you love. Is this something you really think is the right thing to do? What does this express other than your own anger and your own capacity for violence?

Don't do it. That is abuse.

By all means, correct your child. The best correction is not physical.

Physical correction doesn't work at eliminating behavior. (Look up statistics on negative reinforcement.)

You can take away privileges. You can develop a system of positive rewards for good behavior.

You have to teach traits like respect by example, not fear. How can you teach your children to refrain from violence if they become the objects of YOUR violence? You want to foster a climate where right choices are made for right reasons, NOT a home culture where fear and avoidence of punishment is the deciding factor.

Thirteen year olds are old enough to understand reason, to know right from wrong.


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738207837/novelspot-20/002-7028859-5829626?%5Fencoding=UTF8&camp=1789&link%5Fcode=xm2 Discipline

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738210064/novelspot-20/002-7028859-5829626?%5Fencoding=UTF8&camp=1789&link%5Fcode=xm2 Mastering Anger and Aggression

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1555176038/novelspot-20/002-7028859-5829626?%5Fencoding=UTF8&camp=1789&link%5Fcode=xm2 Why Spanking Doesn't Work

Please please, if you do nothing else, read this article:
http://www.nospank.net/marshall.htm

Answer 7

Forget the spankings and forget the switchings. Those things are not going to work. Instead of hitting the boy, make him do heavy exercise like running up and down a flight of stairs for 30 minutes or longer without stopping.

Answer 8

I would recommend using just your hand, as too many people want to call it child abuse if you spank your children with a wooden spoon, or any object for that matter. I don't agree, but older children tend to tell people to get sympathy, and you don't want to get a false child endangerment charge from your child. This is one way to avoid this. Also, spank him as hard as you want on his bottom, but not anywhere else.

Answer 9

PLEASE do not use that on your child!!! There are other alternatives. (See book_allie's answer and websites to refer to) My older brother was an unbelieveable "devil's child". I mean, he honestly believed that he was the son of the devil. He used to have "seances" with black candles and the "black bible" in the basement. That was when he was about 13 years old. My parents tried EVERYTHING. Spankings with the leather belt, losing privledges, being locked in his room, counselors, Tough Love group family counseling, Sick Kids hospital, group homes, jail, physciatrists. A lot of these things led to worse behavior. He is now a 40 year old who is still in and out of jail, diagnosed with adult ADHD, and roaming in western Canada. Sometimes, you just can not help these types of kids on your own. Go seek counseling and possibly even "Brat Camp" or in a few years, the army!! Good luck!

Answer 10

If you spare the rod you spoil the child.Just ground him.it would not do anything to him because you will built more anger inside of him at you.He might be saying spanking only hurts for a while.Just ground him or take away some of his privelages