If you're in the UK,
The CSA isn't shutting down - just changing its name!
If its your child, you've got to support it.
As you have three children yourself, the CSA would take 25% off your weekly pay to cover the cost of keeping them, then 15% of whats left of your take home pay is all you need to pay her.
If she knows about your other properties, and you're earning an income from them, she can ask them to take them into account in the assessment. Things like that don't normally make much difference to the assessment.
If she wants the child to go to private school - thats her problem, CSA would have nothing to do with that. You wouldn't be expected to pay extra for that.
You'd have to be earning an awful lot to be paying 500 per month. Lots of greedy women go through the CSA expecting more money than they're getting - but actually get less.
Look on www.csa.gov.uk, in the new rules section you can calculate what you should be paying.
2006-08-21 08:32:29
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answer #1
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answered by NJP 3
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most courts do side with the woman but only to that extent that its fair for the child. as you were never married i don't think she'd be able to take you to the cleaners but it may be worth contacting the CSA and seeing if they can tell you for sure what you should be contributing to the child that way if she does try to take you to court you have proof that you've looked into what help you need to give and that you are willingly giving that help. it may also be worth contacting a solisiter to see whether they can shed any light on the issue so that you can be abit better prepared if the situation does arise.
she abit like a money grapping cow so she may just be bluffing to get more money out of you so if you look into these things and make her aware that you are and of your findings then maybe she'll back off.
good luck but then again you couldn't really have expected to get a woman pregnant and have no responabilities later no matter what bull she told you because you've created a whole new life and your son/daughter needs you just as much as your other children so you should still ensure they have everything they need but i would say £500 is enough a month.
2006-08-21 08:18:32
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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OK, the first thing I would say is that if you really pay her £500 a month, that should be more than adequate for the child.
Are you in UK? If so, seek out some good legal advice as soon as you can.
It sounds as if you can easily afford to get legal advice (if not, there are law centres that give free advice, look in yellow pages or ask citizen's advice bureau for help) I am wondering why on earth you haven't got professional legal advice before?
Are you feeling guilty about fathering a child in this way? If so, remember that your guilt is pointless - it's too late, either for you, the child or the mother.
You will probably receive some advice that concentrates on telling you what you shouldn't have done, but I'm sure you know that already.
My advice is this: 1) Get the best legal advice you can afford. Think about drawing up a legal document which arranges for fair and reasonable financial support for the child.
2) If you haven't already, carefully tell your present wife what has happened and ask her forgiveness. That way, you can't be bribed
3)I understand that you feel you've been taken in and you feel anxious. But think about the welfare of everyone around you, not just yourself. You do bear some responsibility for the child, and I feel concerned about that child, since his mother sounds very demanding. Think about getting some psychological help, for example coounselling, for yourself (also if your wife finds it hard to forgive you, marital counselling could help)
Also think about helping the mother of your three year old child, to get some counselling, to help her to feel emotionally supported. If she has family and friends, encourage her to ask for support from them.
I am sure you will get through this and hope this answer will help.
2006-08-21 03:38:56
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answer #3
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answered by Suzita 6
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If U are paying her already then contact a lawyer she can't blackmail U make sure you have proof that your paying her she's just blowing steam she wants you pure & simple she's a loney lady that needs u around lol nothing more nothing less does her ex husband know this child isn't his.You should of never cheated on your wife you need 2 tell her the whole story she might forgive you.if this women has properties of her own why does she want U 2 buy her a house I say contact a lawyer put her in her place it's wrong what she's pulling using an innocent child 2 suit her needs.Good Luck
2006-08-21 03:33:56
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answer #4
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answered by sugarbdp1 6
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Having a child is not a crime, but blackmail is. I would suggest that you write down everything you can remember about this sordid affair and gather together any documentation you can find, (receipts, canceled checks, etc.) related to the expenses incurred. Keep a record of every communication, (phone calls, email, letters, notes, etc) Write down verbatim, anything she says. The idea is to collect as much evidence of blackmail as possible and find a good lawyer. You might also report Herr to the police. Find out also why she divorced Herr first husband, what she got out of the deal, and see if she's blackmailing anyone else. I know some people are condemning you, but everyone makes mistakes. Blackmailing on the other hand is designed to destroy another and that you can't ignore. Good luck.
2006-08-21 03:55:14
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answer #5
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answered by pepper 6
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absolutely everyone has issues yet some human beings have worse issues than others. As a 6 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old youngster i became given the duty of being the major parental make certain to my 9 month old brother.....if it truly is no longer an issue to a baby then i do not comprehend what's. It wasn't the worst aspect that would have exceeded off, even with the undeniable fact that it became an exceedingly heavy duty for a baby and led to many issues for me.
2016-11-26 21:16:39
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answer #6
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answered by vowels 4
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The CSA (soon to be shut down permanently for a new system) is useless. However, it wouldn't possibly advocate you subsidising a private school education. Speak to a solicitor, and if you can't afford that the Citizen's Advice Bureau - free and very good. However, if you have property, you must have ammased some wealth, and like it or not, you're this child's father - he's 50% your responsibility and you should pay something at least to his upbringing.
2006-08-21 03:31:02
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answer #7
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answered by nert 4
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OK first she needs to prove the child is yours as it was conceived during her marriage. Her property etc will be taken into account. it may be worth taking the bulls by the horn contacting the csa, and asking where you would stand.. Don't give her money, if you give any thing for the child do it, in a recordable way and keep all receipts. pay by cheque, postal orders, cash cant be verified.. get a solicitor. this will be complex.
2006-08-21 03:31:02
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answer #8
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answered by dianafpacker 4
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Well....sorry,you should know that there's nothing you can do than to take care of your child in normal way.forget about all what she's asking from you,she's just saying all that because you are still sitting down,by the time you'll get up she'll calm down.
Besides,is there any thing you signed regarding your agreement with her?..i bet not.....hahaha..lol,just kidding.
2006-08-21 03:33:07
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answer #9
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answered by LordCEO 2
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You can't be making babies and not feed them. No court will side with you. You must help pay for your children. That is one of your children.
She cannot take you to the cleaners. You have responsibility at home too. You should get a judge to determine how much she should get. She wasn't married to you. You don't owe her your life.
2006-08-21 03:27:09
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answer #10
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answered by Mama R 5
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