So I think i've narrowed down my biggest dating flaw/turn-off. I've had such bad relationships that now when I 1st start talking to a new guy I get so excited that FINALLY this is the one and end up coming on too strong and pushing them away. Any advice to fix that? I've got a great potential that I absolutely want to hold on to!!1
2006-08-21 03:19:02 · 11 answers · asked by Kyppa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are things you can control and things you cannot control. If you focus too heavily on those things you cannot control, it can lead to an overwhelming amount of frustration and anxiety.
Choose instead to focus your thoughts and efforts on those things upon which you can have a positive influence. There are plenty of those things, and by giving your energy to them you can quickly and significantly improve the quality of your life.
Stop worrying so much about what others are doing wrong. Instead, put your time and effort into discovering what you can do right, what you can do well, and in using your unique abilities to create excellence.
Whenever you feel yourself getting anxious or frustrated by something that's beyond your control, stop and take a fresh look around. There's something you can do, right then and there, that will make a positive difference in the world.
The more you make use of the positive power that you have, the stronger that power will grow. There is always something you can do, and it always beats complaining or worrying about those things you cannot do.
Do what you can, when you can, where you are, with what you have. You'll find that it can make an enormous difference.
2006-08-21 03:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my, you sound like a broken soul I know...me. One bad relationship after another and you meet someone that says all the right things or better yet repsonds to you just as fast and before you know it they are like sand. You try to hold on but they casually slip through your fingers. Slow down and that is hard to say when you have been hurt repeatedly and are striving to rid yourself of those character flaws and still have a true and meaniful relationship. Slow down though you must or you will find yourself standing in the rain yearning for a hand to hold more often than not. Take your time see if their interest is genuine first if it is then why rush it they like you and just accept that for the time you have clicked. Also avoid talking so much about how bad your past relationships were it makes you look like a pity case and leaves you open for someone to drive a dagger right into your heart again cause you seem weak. Focus your thoughts on them and leave you out of it as best as you can without coming on to the point you become overbearing and a burden they may not be able to bear.
2006-08-21 10:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Shadow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that you want to be evaluating him, just as much as you think he might be evaluating you. Does he really have the traits you want in a boyfriend, or in a future husband? Every time you start feeling anxious, start asking yourself questions like that.
I think there is an unconscious part of us that makes us do things that push potential relationships away until we are willing to start asking ourselves more objective questions about them.
2006-08-21 10:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys may get a bit intimidated from girls geting too close early on. Just spend casual talking time with them and slowly the guy may like you as much as you do.
2006-08-21 10:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow it down a little, but not too much.......try as hard as you can to make some distance, but yet let it be un-noticeable...if that makes sense. Don't pour your heart out too soon......maybe spend alot of time with him all at once, and then go a few days without seeing one another......good luck though.
2006-08-21 10:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pushy isn't usually a problem. There's probably something else. You need to realistically find out what it is. Ask a guy friend who you know will be honest with you and DON'T BE MAD IF HE TELLS THE TRUTH. Truth is often unpleasant, but it's NOT his fault.
2006-08-21 10:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by Irritable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
work hard to not get so attached right away, move slow, go with what happens let him call you or wait for him to make the first move.
2006-08-21 10:25:47 · answer #7 · answered by NiceONE!!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only call him one out of every ten times you want to call him.
2006-08-21 10:25:18 · answer #8 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just change the things you know that is pushing them away
2006-08-21 10:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they don't like you for who you are, they are not worth it.
You might try to be a little more calm.
2006-08-21 10:26:06 · answer #10 · answered by Ice Raven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋