have you seen people that had experienced war? You cannot tell them to think positive?

Question

I am not sure that you can tell people that has been victims of war to think positive.
I think that human mind has some border until when he/she can think positive. Once that border is crossed, their mind become ruined.
and: I do not think that anti-depressants can solve problems.

Answer 1

My husband experienced it in iraq for 18 months and i too was at a loss of words when he came home.I figured it was best for him to tell me in his own time and words.One question i never asked was "did u kill anyone",they find this highly upsetting.You are right also about antidepressants not working,i just pray he finds a way to accept the images he has in some way.Awesome question:)

Answer 2

I have experience war 6 times since I was 19. I joined the military at 17, went to Panama in 1989, Desert Shield/Storm at 20, Somalia at 23, Afghanistan at 31, and Iraq at 33 and 35.
My own experiences cannot be explained to someone who has not been there. Yeah, there are stories, but you will never get the clear picture until you have been there and seen the things I have seen. Not all things are the same. Each day is different.
I have been wounded 3 times and am still not afraid to go back for more. Part of my right foot is missing, but I still do my job the best I can. I ignore the pain and drive on.
Not all people are like that. Some are better than me and some are not. But, the true hero's are already departed from this earth.
The civilians are the real victims. I have seen families destroyed
and children with no parents. It breaks my heart!
I agree. Drugs are not the answer. Time is the only thing that heals.

Answer 3

Maybe you're right about the anti-depressants. They could make you dependent or make your problems even worse. I am not a victim of war, but I know that some people do heal over time and go on to live much better lives. It sounds to me like all that terrible pain you experienced is coming to the surface now. No one is perfect. Try to cut yourself a break so you can get through this and heal.

I have more to say now. I was thinking about negative emotions and feelings - hurt, anger, rage, outrage, frustration, impatience, depression, envy and great sadness. You might not like to experience them, or you could feel you shouldn't be experiencing these negative feelings, since you're a wise experienced adult. The problem is that you can't just wish them away. It is better to acknowledge those feelings as truly yor own and know that there were real reasons for them, then let them slip gently away from you (which they will). You will then heal a lot more quickly and be restored. When you feel positive feelings, it is better to embrace them whole heartedly and let them enter you and become a part of your core. You may feel you deserve more of the good than the negative experiences and that you are being overwhelmed with too many challenges. It's OK to withdraw a bit mentally sometimes and realize that you can't fix everything, you can't fix all your own problems right away, and you are doing a good enough job (more than good enough) by working on what you can.

Answer 4

Yes...sometimes. Not everybody has the same experiences in war and not everybody responds in the same way. Sometimes those affected most are not necessarily the weakest. On the contrary often they are the ones that kept it together while they did their job and in so doing, pushed the feelings that would make most shrivel, deep in their psyche. Perspectives can be forever changed and can't be debated because they are based on experiences of which even they aren't consciously aware. When you try to speak cheerfully and tell these people that everything is good you are asking them to deny a reality that has struck them so profoundly that your words have no meaning. Some can get better if they are motivated by something they care enough about to get better for. Medications can help, but are no cure. Most accept the fact that there has been a change in them that can never be undone.

Jeep Freak 81....I have to disagree with just one thing you said, ALL the true heroes have not departed this earth. Thank you for your service.

Answer 5

I agree that you can't tell anyone to think positive when they experience and have lived such wounds of the mind and spirit. However, I will always feel that you can yourself speak in a positive way to any individual who is scarred. To always let our Veterans know that what they did for us was not in vain, that there are people who are supportive, and to listen to the person when they speak.
I also agree that medication does not solve or cure a problem , but some may need that alternative to alleviate the pain for a certain amount of time, when the mind and body is no longer able to cope on it's own.
There are many resources for counseling, and help. I personally feel that many may need assistance and guidance to get the help before that border is crossed and the mind does become ruined. The person themselves also has to want that help, which brings me back to speaking to someone in a positive way.

Answer 6

first off I don't think of my self as a "victim" of war. I did my time in the sand and am proud to say that I brought every man home I took with me. Yes I saw some bad stuff but don't think that just because of what I saw my mind is ruined. my out look on life is a good one and I usually enjoy my day to day life. I'm not a person of deep religious conviction but am still happy and positive.

Answer 7

I believe you speak from personal experience. Here is mine:

The three generations of my family before me became war refugees in the last century. Most of the branches of my family died as a result of various atrocities.Two generations still alive (including mine) have fought in combat.

None of us take medication for psychological ailments. I did not say none of us suffer trauma; merely that cultural stigma would prevent resorting to pills for a solution in the first place.

All of us are able to maintain a positive outlook on life, if colored by a bit by our experiences. There is likely a breaking point for the human psyche, but it is dictated by only when an individual gives up on life. The human spirit is quite a bit more resilient than most people give it credit for. That "border" you speak of is determined only by you.

Answer 8

Well you are talking in the Extreme, because you refer to a border been crossed. Extreme cases are very few compare with all those soldiers that have been to war. My husband went and when he came back he was different. It was a different approach of live. It took us almost a year for him to be himself again. There where no medicine involved but lots of counseling with our Pastors and lots of patience. They can get better, all is not lost. All you need is a close family circuit, lots of support and the willingness to overcome.. I would not say he has forgotten all those dead soldiers and the children he treated, but he has found a place in his heart to carry that burden and keep on living functionally for the sake of himself and his children. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I am married to an Army Officer who has served in many conflicts, both of my Grandfathers served in World Wars and one of my Parents experienced The Blitz. You should read some of the memoires of Holocaust survivors. The human spirit is the most incredible thing. My husband recounts stories of the sheer strength of character of dispossessed people, of people carrying on as war rages around them, of staggering examples of humanity. A mind cannot be ruined unless you allow it to be. Nothing you witness or have to bear can strip you of innate decency and goodness.

Answer 10

you are absolutely right..... I have friends who have lived in terror filled area and they can neither forget the carnage nor forgive the perpetuators. Anti -depressants are just pills what of the heart that bleeds, spirit that is wounded, a mind that lives in constant fear and a soul that is lost. No amount of words can change their attitude it is easy to say things of kindness but harder to live through such situations and come out unscathed. And I hope you are talking of victims of war and not just the soldiers at war.