"Birds and Bees" talk?

Question

At what age should i talk to my son about the birds and the bees? He is 8 years old but he's very advanced, smarter than some 12 and 13 year olds. I think he already has some ideas about sex, kids these days know alot more than they should. He has "walked" in on me and my fiance already and I'm sure he knows what was going on. He never mentioned it to me. I just want to know if I should discuss it with him or should I wait til they start the sex education in school???

Answer 1

You should do it. The only reason that "sex" education ended up in the schools was that parents were "embarrassed" to talk to their kids themselves. You can do a better job than a health teacher in class of 30.
Certainly by 8, your child should have had the "birds and bees" talk how and why men and women are different and where babies come from. By 10 or 11, someone needs to talk about the changes that puberty will bring (including the emotional changes, not just the physical) so that he is ready for them. And by 14 or 15 someone needs to explain how to protect himself and his partner if he is going to have sex. But the best thing that you will bring to your talks will be your own moral/ ethical views that will help your son make "sense" out of sex - and you just cannot get that in a classroom (nor should we try.)
You don't have to this "alone" there are lots of resources for parents. Here are some sites that may help:

1) This is s general resource page for parents with an overview of "sex education" and then lots of links to information on specific issues like puberty or birth control
http://www.familymanagement.com/facts/english/facts62.html

2) This is a page for parents and kids together it has information, educational games , sites, and a cool motto -
silence breeds babies!
http://www.cfoc.org/ParentRes/TalkWKids/

3) this is a resource page of sites maintained by Nickelodeon channel as a service, if you have an "issue" you can find it here
http://www.nick.com/all_nick/everything_nick/kaiser/resources.html

I hope this helps, and good luck with the talk with your son, I bet you do a great job.

Answer 2

I learned about sex ed in school. Children are constantly surrounded by sexual images. You should have started off the do's and dont's of sex when he was young enough to understand the good touch, bad touch lecture. Then progressed as he did. There isnt one point and time in a kids life where they should be taught specifically about this, because it should be gradually introduced over a period of several years. If he knows that sex makes babies, and the dangers of pre-mature sexual activity, then he might be inclined to hold out longer, which will make it more safe for you, and you hopefully wont be a grandmother any time soon. My mom never had the talk with me, she sheltered me from everything, so i felt embarrased when other kids were talking about it and i didnt know exactly what they meant. I made alot of bad decisions because of it. You know what they say! Knowlege is power, and I would much rather teach my kid about sex than leave it up to the schools. Also, go to half price books or look online for diagrams and pictures to help you.

Answer 3

I'm kind of disappointed you didn't take THAT opportunity to start the sex talks. At 8 years old, he should already have some basic knowledge, but that should have come from you. Don't wait until sex ed - topics such as sex should be discussed at home, not left to others. Yes, it can be a little uncomfortable at times - answering the 1000s of questions they can come up with, but these are OUR children - we are responsible for letting them know about the important things in life.

Answer 4

I would NEVER wait for the school to teach my child about sex!!! I sat down with my oldest daughter at the age of 11 and had "the talk" with her; from a women's perspective. Then her father had the "talk" with her from a man's perspective.

Prior to having the "talk" I explained the difference between boys and girls, where babies come from, kissing, etc at different points in her life based on her maturity level. Even with supervised television, music, & videos kids nowadays know a heck of a lot more than I did at their age. Remember: Knowledge IS POWER!!!! I am not going to allow my child to end up a statistic because she "didnt know!"

Answer 5

It's a good idea to start talking to him about it now. One of the worst things you can do is not educate him properly on it. I too have a very smart mature 8 year old. I have a girl though and she's soon to be 9. I started my period at 10, so I knew it was time to start teaching her things. Goodness knows I couldn't have her come home embarrassed and thinking she was dying. I actually found a book for girls of that age to help them. I told her to read it and if she had any questions to ask. She loves the book. It talks about skin and breasts and the period and hair and all that "girl stuff". She told me "thanks" for getting it because it's not so scary now. I know it's a girl book, but maybe you could find something like that for your son. It's written in language they understand, especially if they're advanced for their age. You won't regret it. I really suggest you find a book like that....maybe even ask you doctor if he can recommend something.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

The best rule of thumb I would give is never to tell a child more than they ask for. As a mother of two boys, eight brothers, and 10 nephews; I know they will ask when they are ready. Try not to over react to the "walk-ins". It will make your son think the body is something to be ashamed of. If you feel you need to say something explain to him that you are there and if he has any questions about girls that you are the best person to ask. Tell him that if he has any questions about the way he feels he can always ask your fiance (if he's willing). It is important to let him know that he needs to talk to someone close to him and yourself. These feelings are definitely something you don't want him talking about to other people that won't convey the same message and beliefs you want for him or even worse talking about them to someone you don't even know. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Now!!! It is better that it comes from you than Television- or the janitor at school. Talk to him about SEX. Not the birds and the bees. He needs to know because commercials, the Internet, and all of America will not have a problem telling him.

You know what it is that you want him to know. And you will not do anything to hurt him or mislead him. It is so much better if you talk to him about it than it come from someone else.

Answer 8

If he's as advanced as you think he is, then go ahead. It's better to hear it from you now than from the kids at school, and get the wrong idea. When I was in elementary school, all the kids knew about it already and some of them had pretty twisted opinions on the subject. So go ahead and tell him about it.

Answer 9

My wife and I have told our kids the truth about the "Birds and the Bees" since they were two.

Last week we had our kids watch the Discovery Channel shows on Babies. They were, um, exacting in the science of it all. But it was all accurate and factual.

The truth is the truth. They are never too young to know the truth.

Answer 10

Talk to him. Particularly since he walked in on you and your fiance. A child of 8 has ideas and it is best if you discuss it with him but only if HE is ready. You might just ask him if when he has walked in on you knows what was happening and if so discuss it with him.