I was in a relationship with my son's father on and off for 7yrs. he cheated , and cheated. i stayed. i cried. but still remained.He always found some way back into my heart and bed. i accepted it. everytime when he comes around we argue. then sex. it's like a rollercoaster.it's driving me a bit insane & has me confused. i can't understand why i keep dealing with him. i care 4 him, but i know deep down that we aren't meant 2 b.my friend tells me she doesn't want 2 c me 35yrs old waiting on him 2 change.i doubt that i will b that old, but i'm still involved. sexually, he satisfies me.that's all. i could b a friend but feeling s r in the way.he always get me what i want but he never likes 2 b around me. he does other things in the streets which occupies alot of his time. i know i deserve better but i still keep him around.this gets me depressed.i don't trust him. i want 2 but i don't. he knows it 2.he told me the other day that 1 of us has 2 b strong. neither 1 of us has been. now what?
2006-08-21 01:57:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let me ask you this. if you dont see yourself being with him at 35, why do you see yourself being with him now or anytime in the near future?
I had a few terrible boyfriends...and trust me, nice guys make you feel so much better about yourself and the relationship. Picture this: a guy whos loyal to you, sleeps with only you, tells you that youre beautiful, and wants to be your everything. I mean, would you really choose a guy who was selfish, a cheater, didnt want to be around you, would rather go do illegal stuff than be with you, is on the wrong path in life anyways and will probably drag you down with him, over that other guy?
You may feel that you cant do any better or that there arent any other men out there. Quite the opposite. I dont care what size you are or what color your eyes are. Men look at you every single day and there are men every single day looking you wanting to talk to you or ask you out. Fat women, skinny women, in-between women, whatever you look like, there's someone who thinks you're freaking gorgeous. And from the sounds of it, it sounds like you CAN do better than this guy. Honey, anyone could do better than this guy. You are not stuck with him either just b/c you had a kid with him.
Open your heart up to some nice guys and be happy! you only get one life wouldnt you rather live it with a wonderful man who was faithful and sweet to you?
2006-08-21 02:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by california gurlie poo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust is a big part of a relatioship. It's your call wether or not the trust can be rebuilt. If he's stilll doin what he's doin, then why trust him? However, if you've got reason to believe that he's changed, you got to take the chance and put trust back in him. The only way to get past distrust is to go through it. If he doesn't want to be around you, why let him be? You have to think about the child. Sometimes parents are better off apart than together. You don't want your child seeing ya'll arguing and carry on do you? That can affect him in many ways. It's hard to get out of this situation, I know. What do you really want? Do you want to keep doin this? Or do you want to make things better? Do you feel that there's no hope here and just want to get away? Which ever one you answer yes to is that one that you need to work out. It will be hard no matter what path you decide. Keep your head up and go for it. Good Luck!
2006-08-21 02:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, wake up! You are running yourself into the ground with this man. How old is your kid? If you don't want him to grow up with his dad, then fair enough. But don't sacrifice your life and well-being for a man that cheats on you time and again. Get out of that dreamland you're in and kick him out of your life. If he knows neither one of you is strong then he should wake up and do something about the situation too. My relationship was rocky for two years and now we're perfect together. I understand that it's difficult because you've conceived his son, but don't let your kid (and your sex life) be the reason you're keeping this guy around. Face up to your fears and be a strong woman! It's what you're capable of and you're cutting yourself short of a life that could do a lot for you. I don't normally listen to my friends (cos i don't really have any), but take the advice of your friend and look closer in the mirror.
2006-08-21 02:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no shortcut out of this. You have to be brave. End it. It really wont be worth it. Both of you have your lives ahead of you. This isn't doing either of you any good. Especially not you.
You need to face the truth and stop living this lie. Though you have this ghost of a feeling that maybe you can salvage something from this, it's just wishful thinking.
You need to move on. You really do...
2006-08-21 02:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Hammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know the answer, you have to be strong and be cold hearted. NO is the word. I had to do it, i moved away, refused to see him. You can do it, have faith in yourself and in time your self esteem will arise and you will be a new women, better off and happier within your self. NO BROKEN TRUST CAN NOT BE REBUILT and he dosnt really satisfy you sexually because there is no trust-love connection, all body no soul.
2006-08-21 02:05:49 · answer #5 · answered by fireopal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your being weak and it could cost you your life. He constantly cheats on you and you think he is always using protection while cheating? You need to realize you need and deserve better treatment; even if it means not being involved with anyone. YOU need to get a grip because you have ALLOWED this man to repeated disrespect you. DROP HIM NOW, because he is not going to change.
2006-08-21 02:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No use to live together , while past was so depressed , better call it a day and find another for the rest of your life to be happy ever again . Good luck .
2006-08-21 02:04:05 · answer #7 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard to admit when things are wrong, and harder to do something about it. try thinking with your head, not your heart. use reason to justify breaking up for yourself. sometimes broken trust can be rebuilt, but not here i'm afraid.
2006-08-21 02:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been there and the answer is NO you cant and never will again trust him.... you will be a stronger person without him!!! : )
2006-08-21 02:05:08 · answer #9 · answered by spiritwolf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to work on your self repect and not allow yourself to be doormat. though he is a nitwit, it takes two, and will only keep going on as long as you let it
2006-08-21 02:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by jeremiah s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋