My staffie is jealous of my husband (and vice versa) ideas anyone?

Question

I have a 5 and a half year old staffordshire bull terrier who's only been living with us for the past month or so. He's formed a huge bond with me since my husband works away a few nights a week and I'm home full time. Now every time my hubby comes back he complains that I give the dog too much attention and the dog seems a bit put out that my husband's around too. How can I make life easier for all of us? Hubby is reluctant to spend too much time with the dog cos he's 'tired' from working and it's my responsibilty so I don't see how things can improve much.

Answer 1

You have to let the dog know you two are the alpha dogs. Maybe there is a room in your house where you can make it only for you and your husband. Or your bed. Most people let their dogs sleep with them, maybe you need to make it off limits so your husband can have you all to himself. If the dog thinks he has more power than your husband you have trouble.

Answer 2

It's a very tough situation that is not made easier if your husband does not want to be involved with the dog.
First of all, try chatting at a dog forum, or a staffie forum and get ideas from people who really know what they are talking about, http://www.dogforum.org/
http://www.bulldogbreeds.com/
http://www.staffybullterriers.com/forum/
You probably should get your boy into an obedience class with you... and maybe convince your husband to come along? One hour a week should be do-able :-) The person running the class can give you better help specifically tailored to your needs... and we're not talking about a PetSmart class here, you need to visit someone who did more than a weekend seminar in obedience training. Ask your vet about any good training schools in your area :-)

Answer 3

I agree...keep the dog, lose the hubby :) LOL Seriously though, you need to convince your husband to spend a little time with the dog, and he needs to see that the dog is your only companion when he's gone so of course the two of you are going to bond. My husband loves our dog, so I don't know how else to help with yours. As far as the dog...hubby spending some time with him will help...he'll start to bond with hubby and not seem him as a threat. He's also probably picking up on hubby's attitude towards him...changing that will help. Make sure the dog gets as much attention when hubby's home as he does when hubby's gone. I would recommend talking to a dog behaviorist (they specialize in things like this more than trainers do)...if your dog is getting jealous, it could turn into problems if this isn't stopped. Good luck getting everyone to get along :)

Answer 4

A dog can't be "jealous," however, they can have what I call "doggie jealousy" which is simply prize guarding. They will try to guard what they see as theirs. If your dog is "jealous" of you spending time with your husband, it is likely because he believes that he owns you, and gets to dictate how your time is spent. Try reevaluating your relationship with your dog to see who he thinks is Alpha. Does your dog dart out in front of you when you go through any narrow opening, like a doorway? Do you feed your dog before you, or do you feed him table scraps, or do you free feed him? Does he get petted on demand? Do you spend more time watching him than he spends watching you?

If the answer to those questions was yes, your dog thinks he owns you instead of the other way around. I would do some research on *HUMANE* ways to become the Alpha dog. If possible, I would watch The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel. I would also not get too much info from the internet, but actually buy a book. The internet is notorious for having really bad information about dog training. I mean, who am I? How do you know I'm not some nut case down in a basement answering everyone's questions the opposite of correct just for kicks? Get a book. ;)

Good luck!! :)

Answer 5

You're right, this is going to be difficult.
You must give your husband more attention when he's around so the dog gets the message that he's 3rd in the pecking order below you and your husband. Be more offhand and less attentive to the dog when your husband is there. Make him use a dog bed on the floor, not on the sofa or sitting on your feet. Ignore any demands for fuss or attention, give him a dog chew and make him settle during the evening.
And to be fair to the dog you have to continue that when your husband is away, or it'll confuse him.

It would help if your husband were to feed and walk him when he's home, but if he's not prepared to do that then you'll have to manage the situation yourself.

Answer 6

Do you know if the dog has this problem with all men or is it just with your husband. If it is with all men could be something to do with something that happened when it was a puppy. If it is just with your husband take long walks with your husband and dog get your husband involved with playing and training your dog. They do say that agility training brings the dog and the owner together they develope a bond because you have to work as a team to get around the course but not all people want to do agility courses with their dogs. Hope this helps good luck

Answer 7

Basic Training of the Puppy - Read here https://tr.im/uwPmA

The new puppy is certainly one of the most adorable and cuddly creatures that has ever been created. It is the most natural thing in the world to shower it with love and affection. However, at the same time it is important to realize that if you want to have a well trained adult dog, you need to begin the training process right away. The dog, like its related ancestor, the wolf, is a pack animal. One of the features of a pack is that it has a single dominant leader. Your new puppy is going to want that leader to be you, but if you do not assume that role from the very beginning, the puppy’s instincts will push him to become the leader.

The most important thing to remember about training the puppy during its first six months of life is that it must see you as the leader of the family pack. The essential thing is gaining the trust and the respect of the puppy from the beginning. You will not do this by allowing the puppy to do whatever it wants to do whenever it wants to do it. On the other hand, a certain amount of patience is required. Most people err in their early training by going to extremes one way or the other. Although you need to begin the basic training process at once, you can not expect your dog to do too much at first. Basic obedience training is fine and should include simple commands like sit, stay, and come. Remember that trying to teach the dog advanced obedience techniques when it is a puppy is much like trying to teach a five year old child algebra.

It is also important to restrain from cruel or abusive treatment of the puppy. You can not beat obedience into your dog, and it certainly is not going to engender feeling of respect and trust. House breaking is an area where this usually becomes a problem because of the anger that is triggered when the puppy fails and creates a mess inside the home. Although this issue must be addressed without anger, it most be addressed. If you allow the puppy to eliminate inside the house, it will continue to do so as an adult dog. The same thing is true of other destructive or dangerous behavior such as chewing and biting. Do not expect the puppy to grow out of it. You are going to need to train the puppy out of it, but you should do so firmly but with a sense of play and fun using positive reinforcement and lots of love and praise for good behavior.

Answer 8

Mine is a bit the same. Mine is 19 months old, and like you my husband works long hours and I am home with the dog. I think they are just very affectionate dogs. He just has to learn that he won't get as much attention when your husband is home. Mine follows me around the house where ever I go he is there.

Answer 9

talk to your husband....(or the dog...whoever is easier to talk to) and let them know that the other one isn't a threat....tell the husband that you aren't doing anything and that you're just spending time with the dog...he should already know that....and since you ARE spending all day with the dog...when the husband gets home you should make the first 10-15 minutes all about him....and then when things are relaxed you can sit down with the talk and talk with the husband.....

Answer 10

The dog sees you as his *****.

Your husband can do lots of little things to help such as make sure he always goes through gaps and doors before the dog, eats first and takes toys from the dog whenever he wants.

But really you arethe one that needs to change, this isn't good for your dog, he is getting all the stress of being pack leader with none of the perks.

Do what I said your husband ought to do with one extra, fail safe winner, when ever your dogs lies down for a chill, move him out of the way and stand where he was until the dog wanders away.

Also, when huuby comes in he should ignore the dog for a while and then go over to him, you should do this too.

Have him neutered.

DONT RUB YOUR DOGS BELLY, he only gets the same feeling from sex and is being turned on by you when you do it. Gross! and very bad for a pack relationship