Is it me or does it just take time?

Question

It has been a year since I caught my ex of a few years cheating, I have been having a rough year. I have met many men since but none of them work out. I dont know if its me not yet over the fact of my ex, or it just takes time to find the one. Or if Im too picky. Or too desperate? What would be your advice?

Answer 1

sweetheart, it takes time to get over a swine like that. You need time to gr eave, time to be angry, a time to be sad, a time to remember good times and time to be ANGRY. Until you have gone through all these emotions no relationship will work...you need to get the poison out of your soul before you can be happy with your potential soul mate. Just remember, THERE ARE GOOD ONES OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be good to yourself, pamper your self and in time you will all a sudden realize you are OK. Then you will met HIM (the good one!!)

Answer 2

Probably a little of all except maybe desperate (I don't know you)

It takes time to heal old wounds and if you date before that people have a tendency to let those hurt feelings out. Also it takes time to find the right man for you and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being picky, lets face it the "any old man will do" rule does not apply to anything other than a sleazy one night stand.

Hang in there, Mr. Right will come along when you least expect it.

Answer 3

I wouldn't look for anyone else. Wait, let him come to you. I've been down the same road. I waited it out and the perfect guy was infront of me all along. He told me he had liked me for a while and not to long after we started dating and it's been 3 adn 1/2 years. We're married and have a baby together. I 'm very happy. Sometimes we over look things/people. If you wait it out, he will come to you, trust me. When someone cheats on you, you often believe that everyone else will so you become picky and find something wrong with everyone..right?! It's not you, alot of people are like that. Just look at your ex and think..."it's your loss not mine" You hold your head proudly and watch and see if that perfect someone comes along. Good Luck!

Answer 4

It will take time. You need to heal first and find yourself again. You loved someone and they hurt you. You might not think so but you are probably having some trust issues also that are holding you back.

You are not desperate at all, but you maybe picky right now. Look at what happened to you. People are funny that way...they get hurt once and we want to instintivly protect ourselves. We try not to get too close to someone too soon. Trust me I went through the same thing. You will find someone one day. You may go through some boyfriends between now and then but you will find someone.

Take care and hope this helps.

Answer 5

No, you are not desparate, just lonely and looking to fill the void left by the ex. Normal reaction, but will lead to more disappointment.

Try having platonic male friends and never underestimate the power of good girlfriends with whom you can hash out your feelings when you're down.

Try something you've always wanted to do: rock climbing, cooking class, saving the whales, whatever. This would be a great opportunity to meet like-minded people.

Also, call your Mom once a week, if you don't already. (I don't know why I wrote this - but it seems if you're in good with the old lady, blessings come your way...)

Answer 6

It's normal. Once burned, twice shy...

I know the feeling. Been there, done that. Key is to not let your trauma of cheating boyfriends rule your life. Don't rush into anything. Give it time. Enjoy being single, for now. Enjoy the chase.

When you find someone worthy, that's when you go for it.

Never ever compromise.

If you're willing to take the risk of loving someone again, then he might as well be someone worth your while. Otherwise, what's the point?

Answer 7

I think it's both - getting over your ex and finding the right man. If you continue to be emotionally involved with your ex, you are not truly letting go and that is where your difficulties lie in finding another man.

Take some time and remind yourself why he is now your ex. Maybe you are not ready at this point.

Answer 8

My advice is 2 give URself more time.
U want 2 get it right this time.
B aware that a Man can smell Desperation in a woman.
B self confident & try not 2 attach anything long-term after a chat with a new man.

Answer 9

Take your time and don't rush into anything. I am in the same situation. My wife and I are separated after 12yrs together. She is now living with another man. I feel like I should move on because she has. I also feel mad because she is with another person and I have custody of our son and don't even have time to look for another relationship, not that ever think of letting my son go with her. He is everything to me. All I could say is just relax and try to enjoy life and hopefully someone will come into your life.

Answer 10

It takes time, but also a bit of luck. It doesn't sound like you're over him yet, which can make you less willing to open up to someone new. Keep trying, but don't over-obsess about it, go with the flow, hang out with your friends and do one thing that's going to make YOU happy every day.

Love ya!

Answer 11

i'd say stay single for a while and just spend time with yourself you sound confused. you need to calm down and try to enjoy being single. you don't need a man to make you happy or make you look good or tell you how you feel or whats wrong with you or that nothing is wrong with you. spend some quality time with yourself and everything will start making sense. figure out what you want.... not from life or in life or from other people but from urself. ur out of place...find urself first, then start looking for a partner!
good luck