Im falling for my babys dad!?

Question

alright i have a son with this guy. we were together for 2 years and i was a victim of abuse mentally and physically. it was terrible. im now living and in a commited relationship with my boyfriend. but i start thinking about my babys daddy every once in awhlie and start missing him. wondering why we and our son just cant be a family. then sometimes he'll tell me he misses me. i dont know what to do. but my boyfriend is so much better to my son than my babys dad is. but i cant get him out of my head? am i the only one. or is this normal? and what do you think i should do?

Answer 1

Girl- I will tell you the same thing - It sucks. I know the feeling. My daughter is 2 years old and I lost her dad to alcohol because he thinks its more impotant then his daughter but Every now and then I think about what it would be like to have him in our life and what not. It isnt easy girl but you gotta think about your son then to think about what you need ..It all comes with being a parent!

Answer 2

No one can stop you from doing what you want to do...BUT...think about your child. You love it right? You want the best for its' well being and its' future...now...is its' father the best choice to make those hopes/dreams come true? What if he begins abusing your child?

On the other hand, maybe the man you are with isnt fullfilling your needs...which is possible, although you dont want to break up because things seem to be going good,you cant want to be with someone else while with someone...you wouldnt want anyone doing that to you...and worst yet, imagine how your child would feel if his security with your current man was just lifted and taken away and he was put into a place where his father was abusing him?

Think this through. emotions are strong in everyones' lives...but making the right decisions to avoid getting hurt, you or your son...i believe that is what you should be worrying about...

its okay to still love someone/think about them...but rememer why it didnt work and how much better you are off now..

if that doesnt work...i think you should talk to your boyfriend. he needs to know what is going on too...

good luck...i hope i helped just a little if anything

Answer 3

First of all, I think you should stay in the situation you are in now. With your current boyfriend, if all is good. You have a reason why you aren't with your baby's father, and I'm sure that wouldn't change if you got back together with him. Why go through all the abuse again, and put your child through that also, only to find out things really truly won't work out with your ex? Deep down you already know that.

I understand how you feel. There is no way I would ever go back with my ex, even though he is my baby's father, because I've learned that he is not the type of person I want in my life. But even though I feel this way, I do sometimes miss the good times we spent together. So yes, it is somewhat normal, I'm guessing. However, it hasn't made me question whether I want to get back with him. Just remind yourself of the reasons why you aren't with your ex, and remind yourself of how good you have things now. You deserve it, and I hope you stay in this relationship if it makes you and your child happy.

Answer 4

It is normal and you, your child and your babies dad are a family.
It is not the family you see on t.v. but just the same it is a family
you will always have feeling for him and him for you, you produced a life together. if he is a good father then that is all you need for your child. you on the other hand need more than he was willing or able to give people tend to with time round out the sharp edges and see only the better side of things. work on being friends and both you guys and your baby will be better for it

Answer 5

Girl if he beat u and stuff u need to leave him alone and if u already have a boyfriend and he treats your son like his own u need to keep him and leave you babys daddy alone cuz if u go back to him there's a 95% chance that he will abuse u again.

Answer 6

you know the grass is always greener on the other side...until u get there!! You want it cos u dont have it, yet he abused you.....stop being a sucker and daydreaming. Be thankful your not with him, bcos if u think he has changed well ur dead wrong!! Also ur son is better off with ur boyfriend cos his real dad will prob end up treating him how he treated you.

Answer 7

You wonder sometimes why you and your ex and your son can't be a family?

You said it yourself; he abused you physically and mentally.

Get a grip, and get over him. If you get back together with him, you are endangering yourself, and more importantly, YOUR CHILD.

You said it yourself, your boyfriend now is great. Consider yourself fortunate; not all men would want to date a woman with a child from someone else.

Answer 8

of course you are still going to have some of those feelings toward your ex like you did before, but what you have to think about is your child, its just not you and your ex anymore, you have a child to think about, the child should be your number one priority before anything or anyone, no matter what the circumstances may be. For your child's sake and yours its best to stay with the bf you have now, make that life wonderful and grand, don't get yourself down about your ex, think about your baby and whats best for him.

Answer 9

eventhough you miss your old bf or w/e he was to you, he was bad towards you if he abused you so much. and even if you went back to him and he was good to you.. are you sure he wouldnt be abusive to your son? and now that you have a bf who cares about you and your son then i would say stick with him. good luck

Answer 10

You need to think about what's best for your son...sounds like your bf would be a much better role-model.