As a single guy, i wouldn't want to get involved with a woman with another mans child, for many many reasons, one being i wouldn't want an ex boyfriend being part of our lives probably for ever.
I find it amazing how many single mothers there are, sometimes it can be quite difficult to find a woman who doesn't have a child.
Can there be so many men who are bas**ards and have walked out on you all? Was it your decision? Do you feel that it has reduced your chance of finding a man as i'm sure the majority of men would prefer you not to?
And guys, wouldn't you prefer a girl without some elses child?
I've had a few relationships where she had children and it was a nightmare, i say never again and my friends have had the same experiences.
2006-08-21 01:11:15 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've known single parents of both sexes whose former partners have died, left them for other people, had mental health problems that made it difficult to continue with them, were violent to their partners, completely irresponsible, abusive to their children, etc., etc.
Most people don't just end relationships, when there are children involved, for minimal reasons. Probably, most people try hard to work it out, precisely because there are children involved. Give the single parent some credit, at least, for having the courage to go out and try to form relationships again after what has, in many cases, been a really difficult and emotionally destructive time for all involved.
As for reducing one's chances of finding someone else, yes, it does, somewhat. There will always be men and women who do not want to get involved with a man or woman who has children from another relationship. However, there are still those who will date and marry people who have children.
There are more single mothers out there than at any time in history, probably, but there are also plenty of women who haven't had any children yet. If you are making a choice to date women without children, that's your perogative.
2006-08-21 01:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, a lot of men don't know what they will be facing when they become fathers, and mothers have the full right, or rather, obligation, to separate the child from such a father. Yuck.
As I grew up with a stepfather, I can tell you the whole thing is no fun at all from the child's point of view either - but living with a couple that fights all the time is actually worse, a lot.
I would prefer to hold on to the father of my child/ren - but if bad comes to worse, I would prefer to raise my child/ren in good company, whether that has any impact on my chance to get another man or not. I mean, the responsibility a woman has for her children is much, much greater than that she has to any stranger, even if that stranger is the love of her life. Do you get that? It's the children that matter, not the sex.
And the fact that you don't want another man's child in your home is not exactly very good advertisement, you know. I understand all about bad experience you've had, etc., but what if the mother is a widow? Or the children's father is somebody you greatly admire? Or other such situations? Or she got impregnated anonymously?
Don't close your mind off to possibilities. It will be at your own loss.
2006-08-21 01:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few years ago. I was 24 and dated a 33 year old girl who had 5 kids. I had the best time during the relationship and the worst time of my life when the relationship ended. I had a great relationship with the kids. It died when we split up, it almost destroyed me. It upsets me that im not a part of there life anymore. So I know from expereince now that I am never going to go out with someone who has children.
2006-08-21 03:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by jrajohn 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most single woman (myself included) are NOT looking for daddies for their children. The bottomline is it is hard to maintain relationships in this world and 9 times out of 10 if a child is involved and a relationship is over, the child will remain with the mother. If you try to alienate single mother relationships, you may not ever find yourself in a relationship because the number of single moms is indeed ASTRONOMICAL. You just haven't found the right woman yet. But don't pass over a woman just because she is a parent. G'luck!
2006-08-21 01:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was a single mother for seven years after my husband walked away. He got bored with the kids.
I agree with you in some ways. It takes a special kind of person to love someone else's child.
I'm afraid I do blame women for this - myself included. We're absolutely lousy at choosing the father's of our children. There should be life courses at school on it!:)
2006-08-21 01:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
properly it really is because I beleive there's a loop hollow in the Council tax advantages / Housing advantages rules. If the guy basically continues to be 3 nights its ok and she remains unmarried !! If he continues to be 4 or more desirable they're a pair. someone will tell me if I easily have the timescale incorrect. i became at a pals the different day and she produce different visitors besides it seems the targeted visitor and his spouse do not stay at the same time for most of the week as they could't discover the money for to, he continues to be at his fathers and "visits" his spouse so she claims advantages as a unmarried make certain. I informed my pal if i hit upon out their surname and address i visit record them to the council. Its the councils faults . i'm a unmarried make certain as a results of divorce entitled to no advantages of any description I artwork comprehensive time and hate my taxes getting used for this form of aspect.
2016-11-26 21:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by freije 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my case, because of violence and abuse I ended up as a single mother.
i think you need to treat each person as an individual, if you are really not ready for parenthood then it's responsible of you to be honest about that, but if this isn't the case you could be walking past the person who could make you happy because of a preconception based on a bad experience with one person.
S
x
2006-08-21 01:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
okay i am 18 years old with an 8 month old son.
and you think it would be hard for me to find a man right"?
wrong. i have had so many men, that wanted to babysit my son while i worked. and would hold him all through the mall, and wake up in the middle of the night to change his diaper.
matter a fact. this is no lie. but boyfriend right now is my everything. and my son is currently calling him daddy. and my boyfriend Lee just loves it! he loves my son to death. so maybe im just hot? or maybe my son is a good baby. but i dont have no troubles....
OH AND WHEN I FIND A GUY THAT DONT ACCEPT MY SON. I'LL TELL THAT MOTHER FUCKER TO GET THE **** OUT BECAUSE MEN WILL COME AND GO BUT MY SON IS A PART OF MY LIFE FOREVER. but i understand where there coming from
2006-08-21 01:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by jill_emerson120405 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Never say never
When you meet some one special,it doesn't matter if they have kids or not..
I had my children really young and he walked out on us after 6years.
I'm now living with my partner of 5years and he loves us very much,I'm not saying it hasn't been easy for him,but if you love someone you just adapt..And he does a fantastic job,better than their father !
You just haven,t met the right girl - kids or no kids !!
Were not all monsters ....
2006-08-21 04:36:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are so many single mothers cause the fathers are some s h i t.And no it doesn't stop me from finding a man because my man helps me with my son and loves us both and we have been together for 3 years
2006-08-21 01:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋