Jokes -Quickies though Funny?

Question

A man had an altercation with his wife. He said, "It's enough. I'm leaving. I'm going to Vietnam."
"Are you crazy? You'll be killed there."
"I'm not going to fight. I'm going to make money."
"How?"
"There are only few men remaining in Vietnam that the Vietnamese women pay a man $100 per night."
"Then I'll go with you"
"What for?"
"To see how you will live on $200 per months."
****************************
A cool girl in the Hawai went into the water and an abrupt wave washed off her bra-bikini. Coming out on the coast she crossed hands on the breast, as all women do, she met a little boy playing on the sand.
The boy:"Lady, if you're going to drown these funny puppies, I'll take the one with a brown nose..!!!"
*********************
Two little boys meet:
- How old are ye?
- I dunno.
- Are you interested in girls?
- No...
- Then you must be four, because I'm five.

Answer 1

Funny..I like the last one more its "nice"

Answer 2

Men are like...

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you:
Now days, 80% of women are against
Marriage, WHY?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....
1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like....Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Answer 3

two scotsmen walking down the street when all of a sudden a head came rolling out of an alley way the first scotsmen said isnt that macgreggor and the other one said dont be stupid macgreggor is much taller .

Answer 4

regularly insulting. I dont partake in the two the male or the female variations. I pass away those that insecure of their self perspectives that would desire to place yet another right down to locate thier humour and sense sturdy factors on my own.

Answer 5

A man goes to his shrink with his testicles wrapped in plastic wrap. His doctor says to him "Clearly I can see your nuts!"

Answer 6

u said quickies but that is a long joke

Answer 7

Two little girls meet:
- How old are ye?
- I dunno.
- Are you interested in boys?
- No...
- Then you must be above 70, coz im 70 today.

Answer 8

I THINK I MISSED THE PUNCH LINE SOMEWHERE.

Answer 9

very funny!

Answer 10

ok