Why does that happen everytime when I want to approach a girl?

Question

I just could not approach any. I m a shy guy of 31. Not in relationship but want one...........the problem is that due to this shyness I could never approach a girl for a date or drink even. I feel very nervous and ends up by thinking that she must be having a boyfriend or she would not like me. What shall I do?

Answer 1

drink a bottle of JD before you approach a girl... you'll be uber confident and shyness will be a distant memory

Answer 2

Only you know why hun, as for what you should do...remember its not the end of the world if she says no. So what if she says no??? Shes clearly not the one for you, if she says something nasty or embaresses you in anyway then she clearly wasnt worth it in the first place. You have to remember thats its no big deal, if you get a negative response dont dwell on it and make yourself feel worse, its her loss not yours, put it down to experience and move on. You never know you could get the right response!!! Either way you wont know until you bite your lip and try! All of us im sure have been in this position at some point in thier lives, you just have to tell yourself its no big deal and get on with it. Ok so you may not be the most confident person in the world, so what. If she is any sort of girl she will understand that and forgive you if u are a bit shy. Someone is out there for you hun, how you going to find her if you dont just do it!?! Just go for it, stop looking for the negative in everything and be positive for once, why shouldn't she like you?? why has she automatically got to have a boyfriend just because you like the look of her?? Someone out there somewhere is going to love you for you, so go find her!!!!!!

Answer 3

You sound under-confident, and it sounds like you analyse things too much. People are people, just like you; they have the same fears and insecurities. Most are nice enough, so if you approach someone they will likely be kind to you, even if they aren't romantically interested. Such encounters make good practise for when you do find someone who is interested.

I suggest joining a local interest group that does things that you like, such as a bike club, a hiking club, a book of the month club and start talking to the people there. You will feel more confident, because you will know you both share a common interest, and it gives you something to talk about that you both enjoy. Good luck.

Answer 4

I'm a girl and i have the same problem, too shy. I am meant to be good looking, guys look at me all the time, but they are intimidated by me. So no one ever asks me out. As I am shy I come across as aloof or arrogant. And if they show any interest I get scared and become even more aloof. We are all in the same boat, that woman who you think is out of your league might feel the same way about you. So what if she turns you down, it happens to all guys, not just you, you just take it to heart. If you are nice and friendly she won't be cruel and if she is you had a lucky escape :)

Answer 5

not to be mean but suck it up.Yes you will get turned down sooner or later, yes you will get your heart broken but hey, thats life.You just have to find some woman that you like and try to start a conversation.IF you can do that then maby you could pull a number. etc. etc. etc. Even though I dont agree with the saying 'its better to love and lost than to never love at all' it does feel good to know you have someone who thinks about you always and you always have someone to talk to.And if you have never had a GF then I am guessing your a virgin. Thats not good, so just go out and give it a try.Even if you lose one girl, there are many other fish in the sea.

Answer 6

Eventually you'll find yourself attracted to a girl who is assertive enough that she might approach YOU or at least send out signals or make remarks that will make it clear that she's very interested, doesn't have a boyfriend and likes you very much. If you're still not clear... she might even ask you out.

Try using the preteen approach if you're too nervous to use the average Joe approach. That means put yourself in group situations... attend functions where there are a lot of people around... and when you finally do find someone you're interested in, just ask her to join you doing a group activity. If you have friends you hang out with to bowl or attend a sporting event, ask her to join you. If your neighborhood is having a cookout, invite a few people, including her.

Consider asking her if she's "planning to attend" a local event, like a winetasting or street fair, a play or show or if she's "ever been to" a particular restaurant. You can feel out her interest in going out with you that way... just by her responses.

Good luck to you. I'm one of the assertive ones so shy guys were often in my sites. I knew they didn't date much so they weren't all full of themselves. I avoided men who dated a lot because they would be overconfident and act like total idiots on a date with absurd expectations at the end of the evening, even on the first date. I much preferred the men who were a bit more shy and unsure of themselves because they ranked and rated our date on its own merit... not by comparing it/me to what they'd been out with the night before.

Answer 7

Relax, that's what! When you approach a girl next time. Imagine that you are talking to a friend. Don't bowl her over with any pick up lines because that is just lame and will make her run a mile away. So be yourself and talk about things that interests you to make conversation flowing. Once you got that then ask her questions about herself, where she works, what is she interested in, that kind of thing. Don't ask her immediately upon meeting her if she has a boyfriend as she will clamp up and will think that you are another loser that just wants to get laid. Be friendly and act as if you want her as a friend. Then you will be fine.

Answer 8

Stop putting the pressure on yourself to think of every woman you speak to as a future date/relationship. Approach her as a person, get into casual conversation and get the answers to your questions first. It's not easy when you are shy, but it is the only way otherwaise you will always from away from the possible without finding out if it was probable.

Answer 9

Many guys (even girls) have the same issue.

I use to have this problem, but now I dont care. I still class myself a shy type of guy, but whenver I talk to a girl, I just be myself... and start off my striking a decent conversation (and saying hello... my name is etcetc).

Some people Im sure will say to shove alcohol down your throat, but to be honest I think it makes matters worse becasue you could 'over do it' and make a tit of yourself.... I mean look at it this way... if a girl approached you, would you prefer her sober, or slighly merry? If she is merry, I would strike that as she isnt seeing the real me, whereas a sober girl is in total control and obviously likes me.... etcetc

Be sober and be yourself.... and it will work better for you... I say this because I dont even drink!!!!

Practice talking to yourself in a mirror.... and it can improve your technique significantly.....

As for the part that she 'must be having a boyfrriend or she would not like me'...... you never know until you try!!! If she doesnt like you... dont take ofence to it.... just move on!!!!

Be yourself and enjoy nights out.... and if you like someone, just plan ahead and go for it!!!

Just practice to a mirror.... practice practice practice!!!!!

I dont think I can help anymore

Take care!!!

Answer 10

u need sdomeone to be there for you and maybe try it with one of your friends and pull two girls at the ssame time so you yourself will not be alone and just go with the flow and dont drink before you do it , you might just end up embarrasing yourself and just be natural and follow your instinct and stop worrying about if they are hooked up or not. the most they can do is slap or embarrass you and all you need do is move on and then learn from that.

Answer 11

physique language is plenty greater beneficial telling than words, my chum. If this female is often returning your glances, and smiling at you, she's into you. era. the single that touched your arm collectively as greeting you fairly digs you. Smiles + rather touch (i.e. a touching of the arm) is larger efficient than a delightful gesture. whilst the two a sort of girls human beings is speaking to you, do they lean in interior the path of or fairly removed from you? If it relatively is a lean in, there's now no longer a doubt that there is interest.