My gf and I have been dating for 6 years...and she wants to get married...I told her I wasn't ready and that I wanted to earn some money before even thinking about settling down and she says she understands, but our friends are wondering when we will tie the knot, and so she responds by say sh!t like "Hey I am ready, he is the one who isn't ready" ...How do I get her off my case!?! Why doesn't she realize I am not ready!
I am 28 and she is 26...I have a good job, she just graduated from college, and we don't live together. I asked her to move in with me, but she says she won't unless I marry her.
2006-08-20 23:04:20 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't want to get married or even think about marriage for another 3-4 years. Why won't she just wait? What's the rush?
2006-08-20 23:16:37 · update #1
I don't even want to get engaged for another 3-4 yrs...so forget it! I am just not ready...I need to make money...
2006-08-20 23:18:06 · update #2
tell her you don't appreciate the way she talks about you when that subject comes up and would she please change it. If you love each other enough that you even thinking of getting married, you should be able to just tell her that you love/like her very, very much, but right now, you're just not ready to settle down, that you don't feel comfortable with it (be it financially, wanting to be able to move around for a little while longer, whatever), but that you won't keep her waiting forever. Good luck my friend! sounds like you're in a very tough situation.
2006-08-20 23:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i usually don't go on the offensive side. hell, even on controversial topics, i usually try to be neutral and take in all sides of the equation.
but as far as self-glorifying pricks go, you take the cake! you've been with her for 6 years, and you're holding her off for 3 to 4 years just to get engaged?
what are you waiting for? to grow a di*k? it hasn't happened for 28 years, you think it will happen in the next 3 or 4? your gf seems to be very understanding and her demands seem very reasonable. and YOU are thinking of how to get HER to back off?
if you are this indecisive; if you really are 'not ready', you shouldn't have hooked up with her in the first place. you think a relationship is a game? think a bit on how big a man you are being by leaving her hanging like that?
I really think she should dump you. I feel sorry for her. she certainly deserves better than to be treated like this.
You're not gonna give her this message, are you? I didn't think you would. Too bad.
:-/
2006-08-20 23:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by Hammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and discuss with her about how u feel. Tell her if she really truly love you, she would understand you. Tell her by giving answers like "sh!t like "Hey I am ready, he is the one who isn't ready" just shows she doesnt understand at all. Which also means, she doesnt truly love you. She might just want to marry you for security purpose. That is from one point of looking at the situation.
Another point is maybe she really loves you, but its sounds rather weird coz she is presuring you, which just doesnt show love. But maybe she is thinking about having a family because she is already 26, you have to remember her biological clock is thicking, she is not getting any younger and she is a girl.
You cant be selfish yourself, i dont see anything wrong with making more money when you are married. I understand that men at the age of 26, dont really think about marriage, but some at married already. But the both of you need to sit down and talk things through and dont be selfish, you are in a relationship. In a relationship, its about comprimise and sharing your life together.
You should think about her too when making decision. Good luck.
2006-08-20 23:26:11 · answer #3 · answered by Farah_Z 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No offence, but you've been with her for 6 years!!!! I don't blame her. You do need to show her that you do want her around for more than sex, and good times. If you're not ready to get married, than explain to her, but show her that you are willing to try somehting else. Are you guys engaged? Engagements always extend it for a little while. Say you want a long engagement. Lol
2006-08-20 23:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Nicky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to grab two beers and watch Law & Order. That'll Shut her up.
2006-08-20 23:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't quit pressuring you, send her packing.
2006-08-20 23:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋