Why do people want to have children when they know how hard the world is & how hard their own lives have been?

Question

This is one of my top reasons for why i don't wish to have my own child.
We all know the world is such a hard place, so why do it?
My mental life has been hard for me. since i wasn't raised in poverty..everyone from a 3rd world country will laugh at me, saying i know nothing of a hard life. But i speak of mental/emotional challenges too. I know my life isn't that hard at all. it's a luxury to some of course.
Whenever i see a newborn i may feel sorry for it. I know that newborn will have a harder time in that new society to come than i have had. Don't you think they'll experience probably worse physical or emotional problems in their life than you will? And yes, that is part of life, so then why procreate at all? All i'd want to do is love that child, but i guess i mean love without the real world discipline..which they say isn't love. I want to see my offspring never suffer, never frustrate, never contemplate suicide, never be lonely. (yes i know i'm idealistic)

Answer 1

Ryan and all who will read this: COUNT ME OUT FROM YOUR QUESTION. I do not want to have children-honestly and w/o doubt at all.

I was raised poor and my mom would always give everything to my eldest brother/sister. I was treated like I was Cinderella but only I was a real child. when my sister married so young, my mom would want me to take care of my sisters children while my sister works 'coz her husband does not support her much. And to think I always felt my sister did not want me as sister when i came out of this world she thought was her palace.

Then, i was still a child when i was pushed in a life i was not yet ready to face as an adult. Taking care of my sister's 6 babies/children for almost a decade gave me the creeps when i finally decided to get married. I started disliking my sister evertyime she gets pregnant. you see, at my age that she got married-i already have a sense of responsibiltiy w/ my young mind & i thought that when you get, married & have children-you should be out of your parents house. This was not the case and it went on until I got married myself at 32 y/o. I finally found out 2 weeks ago that her children just moved to an apartment. I wish it happened when she just had 2 children...

Anyway, I have to look for a husband who does not want children himself, that he should be 'shooting blanks' to make sure i won't get pregnant. REALLY MAKE SURE. Yes, this is a hard world we are living in. it has always been... but I am happily married therefore i know a world like this can be fun too. children is not in my vocabulary though as an the idea of fun or even line of work. i can not even touch a best friend's child anymore. it seemed i got burned out.

looking back, i feel like crying on why i did this to myself. or why i let my mother and sister did those to me. if not, i should be having a child of my own and not having a phobia about them... i guess i am a tired soul. i do not want responsibilty because I saw my sister suffered and included my mom and me. i guess my mom was the culprit since she tolerated this culture in our family.

No, i do not want a child of my own just to think i must have someone to take care of me when i get old. THAT IS the most B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T of all Filipino culture! No, please count me out from your question. And I thank God someone out there still share my opinion. Am I being harsh? Not to myself or to others who agree. I hope I made sense...

Answer 2

Personally for me, it was that I wanted to have someone to love unconditionally and someone to love me the same way. I wanted the chance to bring a child, my child up in such a way that he may make this crazy world a better place. Since I'm almost there, my son is 15, I can honestly say that I think he's turning out to be a great human being. The only way we as a society, we can make this world a better place to live is by having children only if you want them and can raise them properly. These are the people that will make it better. To address the other stuff, about your hardships, my life as a child and early adulthood was by no means rosy, but I've stuck it out and now am a very happy and mentally adjusted person. With help you could be too. You sound depressed and sometimes it can be very easy to let the weight of the world and it's issues get to you, I know it's happened to me. Please speak with someone about your feelings. I hope you can gain a brighter outlook on things by doing this, it can't hurt.

Take care :)

Answer 3

Because when you're a good parent, you bring good children into the world. And then the good children become good adults - good people.

Yes, the world is a hard place. But, that's called life. We learn to deal with the bads, so we can live with the good things. We are all blessed, just to have been here on Earth. And if there were no good people in this world, then the world would be a hell.

So instead of thinking of all the bad things in life when you see a newborn - think of the mother who is promising to that child, right now, that she will do her best to be a good parent.

Answer 4

I grew up in a BAD life yet I still wanted kids. You do NOT have to make your kids life the same as your was. That is a decision that you make when you have kids. I am NOT like my parents was. I do NOT abuse my kids. Sometimes some people have to break that chain and I was one! Yes, I went through counseling ex... when I had my first daughter because I have always herd they way you was raised is the way you will do your own yet that is NOT TRUE! Yes, the world out there can be cruel as well yet that is a part of life and growing up! We have to learn some way and sometimes with cruel people out there they make you a stronger person!

Answer 5

people want kids to continue their legacy and having a baby whether the world suks or not doesnt matter. it is the existence of the parents creation that satisfies our need to be a true parent. Life is hard for us but it doesnt mean it will be harder for our kids. that sort of our goal when raising kids, to nurture them the best as possible. All those things you want ur offspring to avoid are things that parents do to help their child. the bad things u listed are thing if u were a bad parent.

Answer 6

You must have alot of points to ask the same question twice, As far as our question it is a hard one to answer. Some people don't think of how the world is and what they would be doing bringing a child into this world. It is awful to say but it is true they dont' realize what they are doing for the child.

Answer 7

I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way when my son was born. I never want to see him suffer, or be frustrated. I pray that he never ever considers suicide. And that's all we can do. Pray for our children and enjoy the moments we have with them. We can protect them while they are young and as much as we can when they grow up. It gets hard at times when you think about the problems that are facing this world. But the joy that they bring to us makes it so much easier to handle.

Answer 8

I think that most People want their children to have a better life than they had.
Everybody has trials, problems, challenges and obsitcals in their lives. That is part of life. The real reason for those things is how are you going to handle them and what can you learn from them.The only reason you are on this planet right now, is to learn, grow - emotionally and intellectually - and become a better person. Make a difference on this planet.
If you don't want to have children, please don't, it is your choice. Maybe you can make a difference in someone's life in other ways.

Answer 9

Not everyone is a moron so having kids works for some people. I think most people have kids now day by mistake and they are too stupid to take good care of them. The reason I don't want kids for now is because I think a kid would be a major pain in the *** to take care of. If you are smart you can have a good life and good kids with good lives even in this world full of idiots and assholes. But if your REALLY smart you won't.

Answer 10

The world is a bad place because of the plague of liberalism, but it might be overcome by the time your child grows up if can get the liberals into the mental institutions. So, you have to look at that way and be optimistic.