I met him at a party and I got drunk and passed out. I woke up the next morning in his bed with no pants on. I had a boyfriend at the time and was outraged that the guy took advantage of me. I don't want him apart of the baby's life but I'm afraid that he might hurt me. Even though I don't remember saying yes to sex with him, I think it might be too late to press charges. What can I do to make him leave me alone? Furthermore, I don't know how to tell my boyfriend the baby's not his. I don't think he will believe that the sex was non-consentual.
2006-08-20 21:21:20 · 21 answers · asked by dtwnangel04 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Honesty is the best policy. It maybe be painful at first...but I truly, truly believe it pays off in the long run. You should definitely be honest about who the baby's father is, and any unusual circumstances surrounding the conception. Also if you believe the biological father assaulted you, you should consider contacting the police. There is help out there. A baby is a life. Most relationships unfortunately come and go. You have to put your health (mental, physical, and spirtual) and your unborn baby's (mental, physical, and spirtual) first. It may be hard, but it's worth it.
2006-08-20 21:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you were too drunk to remember saying,"yes," then you were too drunk to consent. You were raped and your boyfriend should realize it's not your fault. I would tell your boyfriend what happend first, and then tell him that you're pregnant. If he doesn't believe you or gets mad, he obviously doesn't truly love you. He should be understanding and as out-raged at the other guy as you are.
As for the "real" father, absolutely do not include him in your life or the baby's life. You're the baby's parent and it's your responsibility to keep it out of harm's way. Just stop all contact with the father and, personally, I wouldn't even tell him that you're pregnant. (This means, possibly changing your phone number, e-mail, and getting a restraining order. If you continue talking to him, you're just leading him on and he'll keep bothering you.)
It's probably too late to get a conviction for what happend to you. (especially since you didn't have a rape test done.) At the same time, filing a report will give you legal footing if the father finds out about the baby and it'll send a message to him & your boyfriend(if he doesn't believe you).
Be strong.
2006-08-21 04:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by applesoup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry this happened to you. At a younger age, I made the mistake of passing out drunk. Got taken advantage of and woke up in strange places. I was lucky not to become impregnated. As for your situation, it would be hard to tell your bf that it isn't his. He may want you to resort to abortion and you really don't need to do that. There is no real way to make him believe you didin't consent. If he really loves you then he will stick by you no matter what.
I think you should talk to a counselor or someone older and trustworthy. There really is nothing else left to say, but that you need all the support you can get.
2006-08-21 04:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called Date Rape. You're right though, at this point it may just be he said/she said. You should get some therapy though
Also, why wouldn't your boyfriend believe that you were raped?
How do you know it's the guy's baby and not your boyfriend's? Theoretically, couldn't it possibly be either?
You can't run from this any more. You need to think about the best interest of the baby. Tell your boyfriend, and get a restraining order on the other guy.
And talk to a therapist.
2006-08-21 08:25:48 · answer #4 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to get as far away as possible from the father as you cannot bring up a child in a violent environment. It is not fair on the child. I think you need to tell your boyfriend that the child is not his. It is not fair on him to lead him to believe something false especially something so serious. If you are worried that the father of your baby will hurt you, I suggest you get to your nearest police station to lay a charge as well as get a restraining order.
2006-08-21 04:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by Slk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't no how old you are. but what if it happened to me i would to this things. you know we are peersons doing faults becuase we inherit sin. but you can do it by just facing what is true. this is not a game. you have to do every thing in the way which will not hurt you and the guy. may be this is not your fault. but you are in now. just face what ever happens. running away is not the solution. what if the child want to know his father in the future. and who knows this guy changs to the right life way. about your boyfriend, he can choice what he thinks is well. you can't interfer in this but if he can forgive you this you have to accept which may not hurt the kid you are having . wish you the best . if you belive in what the bible says read it. nothing is better than God's word. see jeremia 10:23. bye
2006-08-21 05:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by fitsum g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, talk to a counselor. There are lots of resources available. Unfortunaltely, most lawyers will not take on rape cases when alcohol was involved, especially if your not sure it was rape. However, it will definetely help you to talk to someone who is a professional. As far as your boyfriend, he either trusts you or not, but how can you blame him if your not even sure. For the safety of your unborn child stay far away from the father and seeki legal action as soon as something happens that gives you cause to. One last bit of advice.....STOP DRINKING
2006-08-21 04:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by manza 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all get some outside help, you NEED it. You are also going to need a DNA test to determine the father. Which ever one it is needs to pay child support. And stay away from the violent guy!
2006-08-21 04:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by MC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one tragedy for what had happen to you.
If you insists of staying with the violent rapist, that is a second tragedy waiting to happen.
If you insists of having the baby and stay with the rapist, that is the third tragedy waiting to happen. What did you find in him that you think there is a future ?
Are you waiting for a miracle to happen or are you going to go a safer route ?
Good luck to you!
2006-08-21 04:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to the police. Tell your boyfriend the truth.
2006-08-21 08:09:50 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋