how do you go about finding someone else when he is the only person you ever really wanted for the past 10 years
2006-08-20 20:06:46 · 13 answers · asked by crazie_for_ever 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
my ex was my first love by the way we broke up last march which led to me moping nad crying cuz i wanted him badly. i listened to songs we liked while we were a couple DONT DO THAT do not listen to neyo or chris brown cuz it pisses u off! that was one time i was around my friends ALL THE TIME. and i had fun moments that took my mind off my broken heart and time will go by and u will still have a spark of love for him but not like u use to cuz as time goes on with out him the love will fade for me i have not found anyone else cuz it seemed like no one is as good as he was or better and i have now learned to take my time and not to jump into something cuz it may not last and nothing is promised. the next day it could be gone...so i keep living tho my love life SUCKS i focus on other aspects of my life for now. like work and school. but who knows i may get back with him or finally find someone better. it is better to seize the moment and get back with whoever before it is too late especially if they feel the same way as you and yall have history. most ppl say "move on" "give up" or "let it go" but if u think it is worth it u hang on and u achieve the one you want. to the world they may be one person but to you they may be the world.
2006-08-20 20:18:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't make the universal mistake of thinking about dating someon else right away! The first rule to follow when ending a long term relationship can be challenged but is never broken and breaking this rule will also prolong the inevitable. That rule is not to rebound right away. You will be doing yourself a great injustice and masking your true feelings by distracting your emotions during the healing process.
It is of my own personal opinion that someone with great character will establish that character when the chips are down with how they choose to deal with their struggles. Those who lack any real character will make reckless decisions that effect many others without any cause or concern. irresponsible behavior can have lasting effects witch can be damaging to your relationship with your X. It will also make it virtually impossible or much more difficult to have any kind of future relationship.
Others may say that they will be there to support you however, the reality is that your support will come within your own ability to handle the pain however having the support is important because there will be a time when advise will be given and it will be very much appreciated.
My advise to you is try thinking outside the box because there is many other possibilities to consider and could also lead you in a direction that will offer you complete healing and happiness. You have been living inside the box for so long, your freedom to imagine the possibilities are halted because of your consideration for someone else that is know longer in your life.
Try to get out as much as you can because socializing with new faces will help the confidence level that you will eventually be lacking as one of the stages one must go through during the healing process. Define a new hobby or expand any hobbies that you currently have. Also, while your working on your new found freedom and dealing with the process, start exercising allot more because it helps your mental stability, makes you feel better and once the healing process is over, you will look d.a.m. good as you make yourself available for dating and that will be when you will know that you are ready!
Best of luck to you!
2006-08-20 21:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, and foremost, do not get involved with someone, when you are truly hung up on someone else. This rebound romance will only end in unnecessary heartache, for the other person. You need to spend some time alone, reconnect with yourself, and be happy. Once you have grieved, forgiven, and let go, you will be truly happy, and will appear to be happy, and that will attract the right type of people. No one wants to be hurt, when all they want is to be close to you. Do yourself, and others the favor. Don't rush in to anything right now, and learn to be happy with yourself, FIRST. Get over the past, and find the strength to move on. Good luck.
2006-08-20 20:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by Michael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time sweetie and there will always be a part of that person in your heart. Right now its the time to focus on one self when you find you are no longer with that person, especially if its been 10 years (that is a life time and one that will take time). Seek friends for support and ones to pick you up when you break down. Just know that its okay to have emotions but find ways to keep busy. Also do something for you, take time for yourself, something healthy, exercise is always great.
Hugs Mel
2006-08-20 20:12:40 · answer #4 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what I say may not be very helpful, but....
You know, there are people who lose their children - and they find the strength to keep going, keep their minds off their loss, and move on.
There are people who have horrible medical conditions (cancer, spinal cord injuries, other awful thing) - and they find the strength to keep going, make the most of their situations, find new ways to build their futures (or sometimes deal with not having much of a future), and they move on.
Life is full of things people wish they could have and find out they can't - and they deal with it as best they can, get their minds on something/someone else, and move on.
Try to tell yourself that you will have dignity and self-respect, that no other person is worth pining over (particulary if he doesn't want you), and move on. If you can't then - in all sincerity and without any intent to sound fresh - find a counselor who can help you put things in perspective.
The way to get over this person is to tell yourself to get over him, and then figure out ways to get your mind on someone or something else. You have it in your control, and if you choose not to take control of your own thoughts and emotions then shame on you because so many people have so much more to have to get over; and they figure out ways to do it.
Life is very short - even the longest of lives. Ask yourself if you want to waste your days pining over someone who doesn't want you or if you choose to live your days for yourself and the future you can build for yourself. Stop looking back. Look ahead. If you don't see much ahead right now just wait. You will.
2006-08-20 20:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont. you go find yourself. cuz after 10 yrs, you will have to go and track back and find the old you. you was once with a guy and you did things together so now you have to learn to be alone again. so you can show the new person who comes into your life who you really are. you dont want to show them how you was with your ex.
2006-08-20 20:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by eaglestraces123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just move on with your life the best you can....you do things that dont remind you of him....you get back out there and shop around, find someone new and try again...thats just how life is....it might be painful but you cope with it and find someone that will make you think about all the happy things and forget the pain you've been put through
2006-08-20 20:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by do_sctc145 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea 4 real keep urself busy(sports, running etc, etc) i went through the same thing a while back...make some new friends and above all do not expect your ex to come back.
2006-08-20 20:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. I hope I never have to go through something like that. Ummm do what you did before you met him.
2006-08-20 20:11:17 · answer #9 · answered by Love My Soldier 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm.... talk to different guys and see if any one interests you and just keep yourself busy... figure out what you want...
2006-08-20 20:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by Brownie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋