How do I get my 2yr old to come when I call him?

Question

He takes off, further and further away from me. He has gone up to 150 feet before turning around looking for me. I have raised my voice, I have talked nicely, I use my worry voice, nothing seems to do the trick. He keeps running the other way. It scares me when we are in public places, ie, beach, mall, park, store. I think he thinks its a game. Any ideas to change this habit of just taking off?

Answer 1

tell me how to get my 4 and 3 year old to come to me when i call them and we will both know..lol

Answer 2

I have the same problem with my daughter (2 on Wednesday). This is pretty onorthodox, but it has worked so far. When she runs away, I tell her to "go away" in a serious tone. She gets upset, and comes back. What's worked better for me, is when you're some place safe (no threat of kidnapping) try this...

We were at a doctors appointment for a couple of hours total. She had been getting irritable and wasn't listening to me anymore. So, we were going down a long empty corridor and it turned, she decided to run back down the corridor. I told her to come back, she didn't. So, I didn't chase around the corner after her. I could hear her footsteps and there was no one else around. After she ran a bit, she got scared and started crying. I just waited until she came back and found me. After that, in public she holds my hand and stays close.

Also, I read advice about a leash. My parents had me on one, especially in crowded areas, around bodies of water etc. It didn't cause any lasting effects on me. If your son is adventuresome and rambunctious, it might be a good idea.

One last thought, kids need to understand when something is potentially dangerous for them to do. If it ever gets to a point where my daughter will not come back and she is putting herself in danger, I will be giving her a swat on the rear. Doesn't have to be hard, (and shouldn't be) it's more just so they understand what they have done is wrong, if no other means work for your child.

Answer 3

You certainly can't rely on them to come when you call them, if they are running or walking away from you. Been there. And it's not safe at all. Make him stay with you, or quit taking him places and tell him why. My daughter is getting like that now, finally wanting to be down in the store instead of in a cart, and she thinks it's cool because it's different and something new. Maybe you can reward him for staying with you when he does. Like tell him before hand if he is a good boy and stays with you like he's supposed to, you can get something special afterwards, or go somewhere he likes. And if he doesn't behave, don't do anything special, and tell him why. Tell him maybe he can try another day to behave the way he should.

Answer 4

As crazy as it sounds, my 3-year old responds to "red light" and "green light" better than calling her name. We play it around the house and when she is in public I can say "red light!" and she freezes. Then I say "turn around please and green light!" The game is still there, but she is running in the right direction. I also get down on my knees and call for her with open arms. She loves animals so I call out "baby horse!" to which she replies "mommy horse!" Then she runs at me at full speed and tackles me with a huge hug while making horsey noises. Some parents have snickered at this game, but I think they look sillier calling out empty threats in obnoxiously loud voices.....
In the rare case that she does not come to either of those, I put her on a toddler leash for safety. I don't punish her with it, I just tell her that I want her to be safe and that her ears and feet are not being safe. The harness goes on fast and we keep moving along. Also, I point out when I see children walking nicely with their parents. That way she has a good visual example of what the behavior I want looks like.
You have to pick your battles at 2, don't you!

Answer 5

The best way to deal with a two year old is to give short commands in an authoritative voice. "Come here" or "come here now". Don't try to rationalize with him, he doesn't understand. It is common for children his age to test their boundaries. However, he seems to have pushed the limit too far. I wouldn't let him get more than a couple of feet away from you before demanding him to come back. If he doesn't come back immediately, go to him and hold his hand for the rest of the trip. If necessary take him back home immediately instead of continuing your trip. It will only take a few times for him to get the picture that you really mean business and he has to stay with you.

Answer 6

My two year old had to just grow out of that phase . I would not recommend letting him get 150 feet away from you before running after him... I hate the child leashes. Use a stroller if you are in crowded places or a wagon. or hold his hand at all times and remember that he is still learning and trying to figure all this out too. i he is old enough to understand explain to him why it is dangerous ...cars....strangers...dogs that bite and maybe that will help.

Answer 7

i have a 2 year old son and a 11 yr old girl, i know all too well about those terrible 2's, lol. I suggest getting a child's leish, or dont take him anywhere by yourself, have another adult accompany you to help you with him, i snapp my fingers and hollar his name and he comes back, he doesnt go too far from me like 5 feet the max. i also tell him your'e leaving and your'e going bye byes, and you'll see him later (i would never leave my kid, but this is what i say to get him back , it usually works, its like reverse psychology) and he starts running towards me. I take him to places and have him hold my hand or my fingers and tell him he is a good boy for listening, and he is helping mommy walk(reward him with a lollipop, m&m's, etc. for listening). my son loves to help , so he feels he is helping me, he is right here with me. mind you my boy just turned 2 like a week ago. you can also try having his favorite toys with you and if he runs away, i would tell him to come and get it. and if all else fails, just leave from wherever you are to control the situation and calm you and him down, because when mommy is upset and stressed out, thats when lil ones tend to act up more. I personally would train him to walk beside you by taking him places every day if possible like to the park and walk there if its close enough to he gets the feel of holding your hand and staying with you more and more each time. also i would seriously get his earing and vision checked.

Answer 8

Don't just stand there and call him while he moves further away. You're teaching him to ignore you when you do that. You're going to have to teach him when Mommy says "Come here," you mean business. Don't call him unless you're just a few feet away and can grab him by the arm when he tries to take off. You're going to have to be vigiliant and make teaching him not to run off a priority for a while. He's taking advantage of your preoccupation with other tasks, thinking 'she doesn't really mean anything when she calls me, so I'll make her chase me. That's more fun. See, I can run faster than Mommy.' Explaining to him why he has to obey is not effective, because he's too young comprehend why it is dangerous until something has already happened.

Answer 9

Well he is two and his job in life at this point is to make you miserable and anxiety ridden. I am one of those terrible parents who used a kid leash. It made my three sons so happy to walk around in it. They just thought they were big independant boys getting to walk around places without holding Mommy's hand and all. They get away so quickly and they are so precious. If you aren't going to tie them into a stroller then put them on the leash. I always ended up following them, you can't really pull them like a dog so leash isn't a great term. I used one that went around their torso so if I had to I could actually pick them up if they were say falling over an incline or something. The wrist ones make me worry about dislocating their shoulders or something.

My youngest boy actually hates to go on time out (the only one of four!) When he starts to run away I say "Nathanael, is it time to go to the laundry room?". He usually turns around after he understands that I am serious. By the way, my laundry room is on the main floor, and is a lovely sunlit room with very little stuff to destroy. But honestly he is the only one of four that this works with. But remember toys can go on time out for children's naughty behavior. The pacifier or favorite stuffed animal may have to be put away in Mommy's bag if your little darling cannot manage himself correctly!

I have known mothers who tell their children hand or hair--hold my hand or I hold your hair. They say it's very effective, my children always pick hair! LOL! It is so humiliating.

Answer 10

It is a game, and he likely won't stop playing it for awhile, I'm sorry to say. All of my kids ,four of them, did the same thing, and after the first as much as I hated it I bought a kiddie leash for them. Now they make them to look like a backpack with the "leash" attached to it instead of a harness or it going around your son's wrist. Good luck, but know that eventually it will get better.

Answer 11

Remember he is only 2. When you call him and he doesn't return right away, go get him immediately. Let him know this is not a game, and now "mommy" has to hold your hand till you can stay with me to be safe. Hold his hand for 5 minutes, then ask him if he can stay with mom. Repeat as needed, which most likely will be often considering his age.