Why is everyone so anti-spanking?

Question

I don't understand it. A few decades ago, it was okay to spank your kids with a belt or paddle. Now, that's considered "bad parenting." For adults here, how were you raised as a child? If you were spanked with a belt or another object, why do you think adults that were raised in the same era so anti-spanking now? It appears to be a new phenomeon. How can that be so? Parents these days are too permissive. They treat their kids like puppies. They dress them up in pretty clothes, buy them lots of toys and have a little chair for them to sit in for time-out if them misbehave.

I think it's pathetic that the psychologists have jumped on the "talk it out" method with toddlers. Seriously. I want to be a psychologists, but I'm afraid to advocate spanking because I don't want my colleages to gasp in shock.
Before I get "omgz, don't beat your kids," relax. I know about the horrors of child abuse. Trust me. But I see nothing wrong with a calm spanking, even if it is with a belt

What I really don't understand is why the adults raising children today were most likely spanked with something more than a hand. Why is it that these adults worried that spanking with a belt will traumatize the kid.

I love children, but I think at such a young age, reasoning with them is futile. I think there is a clear difference between abuse and spanking. Abuse is out of anger and causes injury. A belt or a spanking would have minimal physical risks.

*ugh, ignore my typos

I'm so glad there are other people out there who support me. I'm going to write a book one day. I'll autograph it for you. Then I'll give to Dr. Phil.

Answer 1

I believe in spanking because like you said we were spanked when we were younger. I think it was the best thing, and although when I was a child I did not like it, as an adult with a child I fully understand it. Spanking and beating a*s*s is two different things. Now I believe that a person with anger issues that does not no their own strength should check themselves.

I work for a high school inner city and I see first had how my students use profanity and curse out staff and parents. The first thing the parents do is cry and state they don't know what to do. I have never made my parents cry because I got my a*s*s spanked.

Now that I have a daughter, she get her butt spanked. All this time out stuff is crap. I'll tell you this in my last words, "WHILE YOUR CHILD IS SPENDING TIME IN ALL THAT TIME OUT, HE OR SHE IS PLANNING AND PLOTTING ON HOW TO KILL YOUR A*S*S"

Answer 2

"A few decades ago, it was okay to spank your kids with a belt or paddle."
....LOL, i grew up with that 'ethic'. it was insane then and still is but back then the COWARDS that abused were backed up by other equally COWARDLY folks.

"For adults here, how were you raised as a child?"
....very badly with brutality and extreme fear!

"If you were spanked with a belt or another object, why do you think adults that were raised in the same era so anti-spanking now?"
......you want to be a psychologist?....what do you think? i'd never give to a helpless child the filthy, horrible, hateful violence my COWARDLY parents gave their kids.
"Parents these days are too permissive."
.....and making the same mistake previous generations made of going to extremes.
somewhere between angry violence and fearfully passive is the correct way to train and help a child:
http://www.howtobehave.com/
http://cyberparent.com/esteem/discipline.htm

"I know about the horrors of child abuse."
.....no you don't!
"I see nothing wrong with a calm spanking, even if it is with a belt"
......Let me 'calmly' (LOL!!!) spank/belt you and see if you still 'see nothing wrong' with it!!
What a moron!
put your self in the child's place and see! When you study psychology, try to understand the child's point of view.

"Why is it that these adults worried that spanking with a belt will traumatize the kid."
....let me get really angry and 'belt' you like we were belted - and you will see how traumatizing it is!

"I love children"
.....??????????

"I think at such a young age, reasoning with them is futile."
......don't study psychology - get some psychotherpy to fix your ignorance about communicating with little kids!

"I think there is a clear difference between abuse and spanking."
.....when you're being abused/spanked there is no difference to the kid.

"Abuse is out of anger and causes injury. A belt or a spanking would have minimal physical risks."
.....LOL, WHAT A STUPID COMMENT! Psychology will show you that much injury has come from spanking/belting, etc. Let me 'belt/spank' you like we were and see if it has minimal risks!!!!!

Answer 3

As a mother of five, a social worker who works with abused/neglected children I can tell you why the world went anti-spanking. Because those of us who grew up getting our behinds whipped, didn't know the difference between abuse and discipline. Believe it or not, there are far too few of us that know when to spank and to what degree to spank a child. Prior to that law, spankings weren't exactly spankings. Parents were slapping their kids upside the head, pulling hair, punching their children, etc. That law was intended to protect children under those circumstances...which I might add, happened more often than we care to admit. If you check up on your local law, spanking is permitted again...but, just spanking, and if someone calls child protective services on you, it had better have been a valid reason to spank. I personally, have spanked my children once or twice. I've now adapted to the "feel good" world we live in , and in doing so, I've found that if you teach them proper manners, morals and values, along with unconditional love, you don't have the reasons to spank. Not many parents take the time to do that, and that's where it goes bad. The key is to catch them young. With so many people having to work to survive, children are dropped off at daycare where, by state law, most forms of discipline are not allowed. And the cycle will continue until something is done.

Answer 4

I couldn't agree with you more. When I was growing up I got spanked with my parents hands, belt, flyswatter,etc.... I guarantee you that I didn't do whatever I did to get that spanking again. Parents now I do not understand at all. I can't hardly stand to be around some of my friends kids because they never spank them or really even discipline them at all. They are spoiled rotten, talk back, smart off, cuss at their parents, hurt other peoples feelings on purpose, the list goes on and on. And my friend or her husband doesn't say a word. I have threatened to spank them before and wanted to so bad I could barely stand it. But I didn't because it is none of my business. But these kids have said horrible things on gifts I have bought for them like I don't like that or that is f****** ugly among other things. I have literally cried. Nothing was done. I quit buying them anything period finally. But I work as a close to a counselor as you can get without a degree and kids nowdays turn their parents into Child Protective Services and tell CPS that their parents are beating them. If they have a bruise or mark from a belt, CPS will take them out of their home. So alot of parents are scared to spank their kids. Kids here have even called the police on their parents. I have seen it several times. I believe in the "talk it out" method in some cases, but hey, every kid needs a spanking sometimes. I don't care what anyone says. These kids are going to grow up to be no telling what. And I will have to say that I will blame most of it on the parents for not disciplining their kids. You go girl. I agree with you a zillion percent.

Answer 5

My brothers and I were raised by the belt - them much more so than I - and none of us were abused nor were we damaged by the experience. We got smacked a time or two when we deserved it and nothing more, but we learned discipline and to respect authority whether it was our parents, school officials or other adults.

Today the authorities have taken the responsibility of discipline away from the parent to the point of arresting the parent if said parent does so much as roughly grab the child by the arm. I know this because it happened to a man I worked with. No bruises were left and it was her word against his.

Amazingly enough, these are the same authorities that crow about how the parents aren't raising their children right and that complain about the prison systems and juvenile facilities being overcrowded and understaffed, and those paid to guard the prisoners are oftentimes more abusive than the worst parents ever dreamed of being!

Society would be a lot better off if parents were allowed to discipline - NOT ABUSE - their children and teach them to respect their parents and authority at a young age!!!

Answer 6

It's unfortunte that there's no manual or licensing for becoming a parent.

Getting belted ot "spanked" only left me with anger to deal with as an adult. Just because someone is a self centered bully does not make them a good parent.

I see too many parents that expect their children to behave at adult standards. They do not take their kids perspective into account at all.

Humans go thru stages of developement. Each stage has specific needs that must be met. Trying a force a child to behave as an adult is like trying to harvest apples in the Spring time. Wrong answer.

As parents it is up to us to meet our kids at their particular level of developement and teach them accordingly. If successful, you will have secure, emotionally balanced and healthy adults when the time comes.

Spanking and belting is a cop out on parenthood. A lazy, brutish, copout. "Talking" to them is only a small part of the equasion. You have to understand their needs and meet them first before you consider what ever else is so important to you.

You are right that some parents Become to permissive, maybe they need to work out their own issues before trying to raise kids. Absentee parenting is a cop out as well.

First and foremost a parent is a provider of food, shelter and stability. Secondly, a parent must be a teacher. The kids are going to learn from you no matter how you treat them. They live what you teach them.

Respect does not come from the end of a belt. It comes from respecting them. Leading and teaching them about life is what they are looking for. It is how nature wires them.

What is more important "American Idol" or spending time with your kid? Bully them if you want but you lose in the long run. You may get a form of respect but they will be confused by the bigger questions in life.

Answer 7

Why are you using a belt and not just spanking?

With spanking there is a need to "increase the punishment", When a swat on the behind no longer works....
This turns in to Belts and Sticks, from spanking into whipping and then to beatings.

Good luck with that when they are 17 and decide to rebel anyways.

Answer 8

As time passes people's mindset has changed.There could be so many the reason for it.As for me.spanking is better than reasoning ONLY applicable to kids above the age of 7.By then they could think of the reasons why/what their parents want them to do.If they refuse it only show signs of defiance.That's where spanking comes in handy.That's my way raising my children as I was raised that way too & it helped alot.However,execessive beating till there are bruises/marks all over the body IS abuse.Well,a cousin of mine was raised in a non-spanking enviroment,he gets away with whatever he did since day 1.Now in mid-20s he's a good-for-nothing expecting other to pay his meals daily & buying stuffs he likes.Hell no!I dun entertain him at all.Nothing that U we say could get across him even a gentle reminder or advice could enraged him.Hopeless,useless & he doesn't even respect his own parents.Different ppl think differently,well this is mine.

Answer 9

I was spanked and I am glad my parents did so. I was never a bad kid so the few times I did get a spanking it was because I really did something to earn it. I do not see anything wrong with spanking as long as it doesn't cross the line into severe beatings. I plan on spanking my children as a form of punishment but I will also implement groundings and time outs

Answer 10

I think the parents that do need to spank their kids are afraid of repercussions of society and even legally if found to use this old fashioned method of discipline, some children can be corrected by reasoning but some can only change by a good spanking...
It's a shame that these kids that need the latter go undisciplined and become dis-functional members of society.
Their is not a one size fits all when it comes to correcting our youth.