Any jokes? The funniest will win 10 points! X)?

Question

I don't want a long jokes. Use simple words.

Answer 1

What do you call a [insert racial group here] who flies a plane?


A pilot, you racist!

Answer 2

not a joke just a funny poem:


One Payday Mr. Peanut wanted a Bit O'Honey, so he took Mary Jane behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. He began to feel her Mounds. That was pure Almond Joy. It made her Tootsie Roll. He let out a Snicker as his Butterfinger went up her Juicyfruit and caused a Milky Way. She screamed Oh Henry as she squeezed his Peter Paul and Zagnuts. Mary Jane said "You are even better than the Three Musketeers." Soon she was a bit Chunky and nine months later had a Baby Ruth.

Answer 3

A horse and a young chicken were the best of friends. They played together every day. One day the horse fell into some quicksand. He said "I'm sinking quick run back, get a rope and the farmers Harley." The chicen came back, tossed the rope, the horse caught it in his teeth and riding the Harley the chicken pulled the horse out. A few days later they were playing in the same area only this time the chicken fell in. He yelled to the horse "hurry get the farmers Harley. But the horse said "I wont need that" He stradeled the quicksand untill his dick was above the chicken he said "grab on and I'll pull you out." The chicken did, the horse stood up lifting the chicken out of the quicksand and simply walked away ....... The moral of this story is,,, if your hung like a horse you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks.

Answer 4

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a very sheer blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate...

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

Answer 5

why is 6 affraid of 7?
because 7, 8, 9!!!!

a horse walks into a bar, the bar tender comes over to him and asks "why the long face?"

Answer 6

two old ladyes about the age of 80 or 85 sit out side for a smoke it starts to rain so
lady1: pulls a condom out if her pocket and cuts a hole at the end of it than puts it on her cig
lady2: ask what you have
lady1: a condom you can buy them at a drug store
lady2:goes to a drug store and goes to the clerk and ask for a pack of condoms the clirk asks what size she awnsred one that fits a camel the man faint lol pick me need the points

Answer 7

once i saw a man filling job application. He had difficulty in filling in the field of sex and after much thought he wrote ""thrice a week". When i explained him that he should fill either male or female then thought for a sometime, counted his fingers and finally wrote, 2 times with female, 1 time with male.

Answer 8

clean joke:
Why did the little ink drop have a tear in his eye? He heard his father was in the pen and didn't know how long his sentence would be.

Not so clean: Know how to make a woman talk like a dolphin?
Just put your penis 2 inches from her asshole and she says, EH, Eh, eh,eh, eh.

Answer 9

jack and jill went up the hill to have some majuana
jack got high and pulled down his fly and said do you wanna
jill said yes and took off her dress
and then they had some fun
stupid jill forgot her pill and now they have a son

Answer 10

An Irishman walks out of a bar....hey, it could happen. He sees a nun across the street, walks up to her and knocks her on her can. Looks down and says, "I knew you weren't so tough, Batman!"

Answer 11

A white horse walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Gimmie a beer."

Bartender says "We've got a whisky named after you."

Horse says "What, you've got a whiskey named Eric?"