I have 2 small children and by the end of the day I am too tired to have sex. My husband is great but I'm just not into it. I lost all of the baby weight so it's not that I feel bad about my body, it just that sex is the last thing on my mind. I'd rather be on here or watching TV. What's my problem??
2006-08-20 16:43:03 · 15 answers · asked by cardsbyjeannine 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Thank you for your suggestions. I'm not on the pill though and even when I'm not tired I don't feel like doing it. Sometimes I still take care of "business" myself though so it's not that my sex drive is gone- it's just gone with my husband. I feel so bad.
2006-08-20 17:03:00 · update #1
This is a very common problem. Be up front with your husband in a very nurturing way. Try to schedule regular dates with him and understand that he has "needs". Men are so physical they need that physical reassurance just like we need them to say "I love you". Express your frustration with your "lack of interest". As awful as it sounds try to schedule at least a couple of "quickies" a month just for his pleasure. Tell him it's your gift to him and then try to really get into it a couple of other times a month. This takes a lot of the pressure to perform off of both of you and may help. I have been using some Prolief cream from Arbonne lately and it really has raised my interest in sex (I have four children). If you keep honest and kind communication and really schedule time for sex and an adult relationship you can get through this. As the children get older you will recover.
Make sure to mention it to your doctor the next time you see him/her because if you're on medication(birth control) or breast feeding those things can really dampen the old fire and they may be able to make specific recommendations for your lifestyle and health issues.
2006-08-20 16:59:23 · answer #1 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perfectly normal. I was the same way for a at least a couple years after each on my children were born. Don't feel bad. It is perfectly normal the way you are feeling. I have a 5 month old and personally right now I could care less if and hubby and I ever did anything again. That will eventually pass. Taking care of children is no easy job and takes all or our energy. Tell hubby if he helped more with the kids and took on more around the house it might help you to be able to get in the mood.
2006-08-22 19:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you! You just have two kids which is a ton of work. I have three little ones and by the end of the day I'm exhausted. Plus having spit up in my hair, toy cars in my pocket and a PTA meeting to worry about doesn't exactly put me in the MOOD. Sometimes though my hubby will do the dishes or some other chore for me that makes my day shorter then I am less tired and much more likely to have energy for sex. You should suggest that to your partner. It might help.
2006-08-20 16:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you on birth control pills??? Some birth control pills will make you have a loss of sex drive.
Also, There is such a thing as female impotency. It's when a female loses her interest in sex. You should go and talk to your doctor about it.
I wouldn't say your loss of interest is due to being tired if you are watching TV or playing on the computer. If you were really tired, you would want to go to bed. So I think ;you just might have a loss of a sex drive.
It happens to guys and it also happens to women.
I just found out about it. I have two small children and I just had no interest in having sex with my husband. Well, it was due to the birth control pills I was taking. Once I got off them and they were out of my system, I had interest in sex again.
It is something for you to think about.
2006-08-20 16:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Tired-Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress babe.........I always found a good hour or so of great sex the best stress reliever around so I would suggest doing the romantic thing while you watch tv, then get nice nasty in the living room! You deserve the relaxtion it brings and so does your husband. He needs to understand about being tired and stressed from the kids, he just needs to spend a little more time pampering you and then you will want to pamper him with love making...
2006-08-20 16:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes I feel the same way...sometimes I find it disgusting and nasty. I sometimes hate it when he touches me. I found out that he might of said or have done something to me to make me feel this way. Could it be when he touches you, when he wants to have sex? Has he made you feel ugly or do you just feel ugly at all on your own? See mine is all the above...and the main time he ever wants to touch me is right after work or when I'm asleep and he's been lying there or half asleep groping me than. Sometimes I catch him masturbating and calling out another woman's name, and when I do catch him he denies it and lies to me about it. He says he's scratching his leg or he's asleep and he don't know what I'm talking about. So maybe the problem really isn't you, maybe its him...your husband. Sometimes its just the hormones thing. Your body is still changing. And its trying to accept itself. So the hormones says..."HE NEEDS TO BACK OFF!!" This too has happened to me. There seriously isn't anything wrong with you...your fine. Just try to love yourself no matter what!
2006-08-23 16:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by missbehave252002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very natural to be this way. I have a 2 year old and the last thing on my mind in the evenings is sex....My best advice for you is to tell him that sex starts sometimes a whole day before you actually do it....the small things...flowers, notes, kisses, hugs, touching, massages, ....etc....Tell him to do this and it just might make you feel in the mood!
2006-08-20 16:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by Jenna D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am also a mother of two and sex is the last thing on my mind.if your hubby wants sex then tell him to give you a back rub. a back rub or a warm bath takes away the tension and puts you in the mood. try sending the kids to your mom and then turn on romantic music and have fun.you can start by talking together or watching tv and slowly if you two relax...one thing will lead to another. just try to relax and have some quality time together.everyday if you two have quality time then slowly romance will come back to your life.
2006-08-20 17:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by atahsina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are tired and stressed out. tell your husband if he helps you with the kid and house work, it can minimize your stress level and increase your sex drive. don't forget to leave out any romantic things you want him to do for you like a massage. maybe you should get a babysitter and spend some time alone or go to a hotel.
2006-08-20 16:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by averilyn06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad youur just to tired to have sex that is how alot of people are and if you do have sex you do not wanna take the risk of your kids walking in on you !! soo this is just a natrual thing that you are going through!
2006-08-20 16:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by blah blah blah blah blah♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋