I know she loves,but lately I've been having these silly notions that she wants someone else.There are no signs or indications that this is happening.She overlooks my tirades mostof the time,but sometimes it really pisses her off .Any other woman would have left my a$$ by now.I just want some advice from a married female that has put up with the same thing. no trolls please,just honesty.Give me some pointers and don't hold back!!If I'm an asshole then tell me how not to be.
2006-08-20 16:29:55 · 25 answers · asked by mercury9501 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is great!!Excellent advice from a lot of you.Thank you
2006-08-20 17:15:41 · update #1
SHOW MORE EMPATHY.
SHOW EMPATHY FOR HER AND HER EXPERIENCES. SHOW HER YOU CARE ABOUT HER FEELINGS. SHOW HER YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES.
DO NICE THINGS FOR HER AND BE THOUGHTFUL. CONSIDER HER WHEN YOU MAKE DECISIONS. DON'T HAVE RELATIONS WITH OTHER WOMEN THAT EXCLUDE HER. DON'T LET OTHER WOMEN THREATEN HER FEELING OF SECURITY ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL FOR HER.
ACT LIKE YOU SAY YOU FEEL ABOUT HER. SHOW HER YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU SAY IT.
TREAT HER LIKE #1. INSPIRE HER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF. APPRECIATE HER FOR HER REDEEMING QUALITIES, AND COMPLIMENT HER ON HER ATTRIBUTES. TREAT HER LIKE THE PRETTIEST, FUNNIEST SMARTEST, MOST ENGAGING WOMAN YOU HAVE EVER MET. SHOW HER HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO BE PICKED BY HER....
IF YOU HAVE DONE THINGS THAT OFFENDED OR HURT HER, OWN THEM. DON'T JUSTIFY OR EXPLAIN THEM. AND YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT ALL THE TIME. OWN UP TO HOW SHE MUST HAVE FELT, AND HOW SHE COULD HAVE PERCIEVED IT. TELL HER THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT YOUR INTENT, BUT RATHER THEN HER PERCEPTION.
IF YOU USE PORN, GET RID OF IT. IT IS DAMAGING TO A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT OBJECTIFIES WOMEN, IT IS SELFISH AND ONLY SERVES YOU, AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR LOYALTY TO YOUR WIFE. IT TURNS YOU AWAY FROM YOUR MARRIAGE TO SERVE ONLY YOURSELF. IT IS A BETRAYAL AND TRASHES HER SELF ESTEEM. APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY AND TELL HER YOU INDERSTAND THIS.
WHATEVER YOU DID TO WIN HER OVER TO BEGIN WITH, DON'T FORGET TO KEEP DOING IT. KEEP FLIRTING, DATING, AND TRYING TO WIN HER OVER. INSPIRE HER TO FEEL APPRECIATED AND SAUGHT AFTER.
DON'T TRY TO BUY HER OFF WITH GIFTS CONSTANTLY. SHOW YOUR LOVE BY DECOMPRESSING HER DAY. TELL HER TO REALX WHILE YOU DO DINNER, THE DISHES, OR WHATEVER CHORES SHE USUALLY DOES. PAIN HER TOENAILS WHILE SHE TAKES A HOT BUBBLEBATH AND ASK HER ABOUT HER DAY BEFORE YOU TELL HER OF YOURS.
DON'T GET SO COMFORTABLE THAT YOU ASSUME SHE IS SATISFIED BY YOUR MERE PRESENCE. YOU HAVE TO ACTIVELY CONTRIBUTE TO A RELATIONSHIP (AND NOT JUST FINANCIALLY). GET A BOOK ON HOW WOMEN COMMUNICATE AND PERCEIVE THINGS DIFFERENTLY THAN MEN. READ IT WITH HER AND LAUGH ABOUT YOUR OWN EXAMPLES AND ANTIDOTES. SHOW HER HOW MUCH YOU NEED HER LOVE AND SUPPORT. DO THAT BY MAKING MORE EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND HER.
WHATEVER RUT YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN, YOU CAN FIX IT IF YOU WANT TO. YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, AND SHE DOES, TOO. BUT YOU HAVE TO DECIDE TO BE THE HERO THAT GETS THE BALL ROLLING....
2006-08-20 16:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit thinking she is cheating when there's no indication of it, that's just going to cause problems and end things eventually all together.
Do little things for her.
Come up behind her and give her a hug, kiss the side of her neck and tell her you love her for absolutely no reason, just do it.
Incorporate more physical touches -- carress her back as you walk by, kiss her on the cheek, hold her hand, cuddle on the couch even if you're both reading a book. Close proximity to each other conveys love for the other.
Take her out for dinner, buy her flowers once in awhile. Pick one night a week when she decides what you two will do for the evening and stick with it, even if it's something you might not enjoy.
Plan a weekend getaway of you can, to a small inn or B&B, they are smaller and more relaxing than big hotels.
It's the little things that mean alot more.
Generally staop being the self appointed asshole you say you are. She's stayed with you this long, if she didn't love you she would have.
Appreciate her, she probably does a hell of alot of things for you that you've never noticed. Maybe going out of her way to make your fav.meal, makes sure you have clean clothes etc.
Start noticing and thank her.
2006-08-20 17:30:30 · answer #2 · answered by Val 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has put up with you and your issues then she loves you. Do you remember when you met? How you met? You should recreate the day the two of you met. Do something special for her. Send her on an all exclusive ladies day out, then pamper her for the day or weekend or week. Leave her little notes around the house. Do something you normally wouldn't do. Step out of yourself and your own normal everyday actions. If you truly love her and you want to rekindle the relationship go the distance. I am sure even if you do something little it will go along way with her. And if fiances are an issue, write her a poem, tell her how special she is and how much she means to you. Pick her some fresh flowers. Cook her dinner. Bring her breakfast in bed. Run her a bubble bath wash her back. Let her know even if you don't always show it she is the light in your life. Not everything can be solved with counseling sometimes, its just a matter of refocusing on what is important. The fact that you are looking for help says you still love your wife and care about her, so take the time to make her Queen for a Day, Weekend, or even Week. Best Wishes to You!
2006-08-20 16:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Southern Comfort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my advice:
Women divorce emotionally long before they physically leave. So --- you have to make her want to stay.
Sounds like you know you're an a**hole. So stop being one. Think more about her than yourself. What does she want/need?
Also try a book called the 5 languages of love. Find her love language and make sure you speak to her in her language every day.
Speak well of her to others. It will always get back to her. Compliment her in front of others. Make sure everyone knows you are the luckiest man on earth.
Stop with the tirades, already. If you need to just vent, either vent to someone else or let her know up front that you are just venting.
Talk to her!!!
2006-08-20 17:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by nobadkids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
How can I make my lovely wife fall back in love with me?
I know she loves,but lately I've been having these silly notions that she wants someone else.There are no signs or indications that this is happening.She overlooks my tirades mostof the time,but sometimes it really pisses her off .Any other woman would have left my a$$ by now.I just want some...
2015-08-18 06:30:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be an asshole. She may love you still, but I couldn't deal with it forever. I know I can be a b$tch too sometimes so I try to chill, and you should too. Give her attention and help around the house or with the kids if you have any. Remember why you fell in love with her in the first place and hold that with you everyday, and you'll do better. Remember, we all, male and female have issues, but it's how we deal with them determines the outcome.
2006-08-20 16:36:49 · answer #6 · answered by lees girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you remember some of the more romantic moments between the two of you? Could you possibly recreate one of those moments? Maybe plan an impromptu weekend with just her and a little bed and breakfast. Just do something out of the ordinary. It could be that she's just bored, but not that she's falling out of love with you.
2006-08-20 16:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by Jocelyn L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I deal with this with my husband at home. I don't know the whole aspect of your situation, but how much time do you spend with her when you are at home. My husband comes home and either goes right to the computer or hangs out at the bar with his buddies. He works very long hours (which I respect for him to take care of me and our children), but I would like it if he would spend QUALITY time with me. He says he is always here with us, but when I have to ask him a question six times for him to hear me, (since the computer and television are so much more important), that mean he is not really "here" Then he wonders why I don't want sex or want to go to bed when he does. There is A LOT more to a marriage than being in bed. And when I'm not here, would it kill him to get off the computer and play with the children???? Like I said, I don't know if any of this relates to you and your wife, but it was good to vent for a minute. Thanks and Good Luck!
2006-08-20 16:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by JenJen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a married woman and the way that I fall in love with my husband over and over again, is the little romances that he pulls. Women need to feel wanted AND needed. As long as you make her feel that way, she should easily fall back for you.
2006-08-20 16:37:00 · answer #9 · answered by Muggle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start back doing what you did when you guys first met you know all the romantic stuff that got the girl so you didnt have to work so hard anymore do this and stick to it. she is probably like me at this point over the situation you have fell into that i love him but i dont like him stage and thast how she feels she has gotten where she looks over you and if you want the love to be like it was before you gotta make some efforts in letting her know that you respect her and that she can take you serious again.
2006-08-20 16:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be very honest you need to do what you did in order to get her. and be honest with yourself, are you taking advantage of her? Sometime wen get son relaxed with our spouse that we forget how to make them happy. if you know what her likes are surprise her one day and see what happens. My husband and I have been together for six years. I know that isn't a long time but he treat every day like it may be the last time we may be together. always telling me he loves me along with a hug and kiss before he leaves the house and before bed at night. If she ask what is going on be honest. Let her know how you really feel deep in your heart. I hope this helps some
2006-08-20 16:43:01 · answer #11 · answered by toni stark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋