Christianity and the Marriage Bed?

Question

It's sad I'm compelled to ask this question. From my experience with marriage and Christian counselling, why is a high sexual libido treated as a disease, or a sin, or a weakness within the marriage? Understand, I'm referring strictly to the marriage bed and NOT infidelity. My question specifically address the Christian Husband and his Christian Wife where one has a higher libido than the other.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with having a highly active libido.
But intimacy within marriage is about giving, not taking.

One expects the other to give in to thier strong sex drive, without being willing to take into conderation the other's low sex drive.

The imbalance will create problems.
Try being sensitive to each other's needs, whether high or low.

Answer 2

First, they tell you to wait till marriage (which I believe is a mistake). Then they get upset if you decide you like sex! It's not just for making babies (to quote the moron earlier). I don't see why a husband and wife is not allowed to enjoy one another? You should be able to enjoy sex with your wife or husband.

As far as the libido issue, have you explored if one of the partners was ever sexually or physically abused? That can contribute to high or low libido. It can be due to living in a sexually repressive atmosphere (no, I'm not religion bashing), in a family or religious beliefs that make sex dirty, wrong, bad, ect*. Interestingly enough, many serial killers and sociopaths come from such a background.

Then there are physical issues, is he too big/small for her? Is he waiting for her to be ready for intercourse, ect? Has she been to a Gynecologist and been checked out for any kind problems there? There's a lot of questions that have to be asked that have little to do with religion.....

Answer 3

The marriage bed is a place that is secret.. One partner, out of love should conform to the other.. Physical changes occur, sex in marriage is an amplification of love that exist between two people. Time and communication is the key.A high libido is one thing, but the emotional aspect is more important.

Answer 4

I'm unaware of that phenomena in Christian circles and I am a Christian counselor. If you are encountering it then I would suggest that it comes from improper understanding of the Scriptures and a failure of the Pastoral staff to adequately teach the congregation on this matter.

1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Answer 5

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It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 6

If you are getting answers like that from a christian counselor you need to find another. Procreation within the bonds of marriage is a Godly thing. He created us for that purpose. If you are experiencing problems in this area it is the responsibility of both parties to find a happy medium. You are bound to make each other happy (or sa satisfied). You or your mate are just as guilty in God's eyes if you forse the other to sin and even think of another

Answer 7

Sex is sex. The reason why there's so many people that are sexually repressed is because of religion telling them that sex is bad, and sinful, and they feel guilty over it, and eventually become sexual deviants. If they'd just learn that it's a natural part of the human makeup, there'd be a lot more happy people in the world. Religion shouldn't have anything to do with normal functions of the body.

Answer 8

Maybe you just haven't found the right Christian counselor. I believe that Tim LaHaye wrote a good book on sex within a Christian marriage.

And if you ever find a way to raise your wife's libido, let me know what it is.

Answer 9

Shouldn't be. Don't know where you are getting your information.

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband."

If you want your wife and she doesn't want you at the same rate, I'd say that either you are not loving her as you should outside the marriage bed or your not as loving to her as you should be IN the marriage bed.

Even Christian women want great sex. Try going for quality NOT quantity.

A Christian author wrote a book, "Sex begins in the Kitchen", check it out.

Answer 10

Sexual relations are a beautiful gift from God, and they should give us pleasure and joy in our marriages. Sometimes couples go through periods when desire levels don't mesh, so perhaps you could help your partner feel more like a sexual being. Sometimes the best foreplay a man can do is the dishes or laundry!