what should i do?

Question

ive been going out with this guy for three mounths now and i love him very much but he gets into alot of trouble right now hes on house arrest and is grounded so i havent talked to him in like 8 days but it wasnt his fault i know that for a fact cause his brother told me and this isnt the first time hes been trouble he is in trouble often but its hardly ever his fault especially lately he has problems with his dad and his dad is constantly trying to get him locked up and if he gets locked up one more time its till hes 18 and he has court soon that might lock him up and there are other things about him like hes always losing his temper and is very jelouse but at the same time he is very sweet and he cares for me alot he used to call every day just to make sure i was ok so i dont know what to do should i say with him or should i leave him or can you give me some advice i know this all sounds alittle confusing so if you ask me questions ill answer them so you can answer mine better thanks

he has problems with his dad cause his dad used to hit him and not that his parents have seperated the only way for his father to hurt him is to lock him up and i know its not his fault cause his bro has tried to break us up and he told me its not his fault and his mom to he dosent like to be in trouble but this stuff keeps happening

Answer 1

Its never there fault, Our prisons are full of people that it wasn't there fault.

This guy is headed for big trouble if he does not admit he is doing wrong and work on doing the right thing.

When he goes down we can only hope you are not with him.

Answer 2

First. try a little punctuation now and then. Makes it easier for people to understand what you are saying.

This guy sounds like one of the the classic insecure abuser types (sweet, but jealous and loses his temper a lot.) Fortunately for him, he is still pretty young. There is a chance he will calm down someday. Nevertheless, that is something he must do himself and not anything anyone can help him with.

"Not his fault" eh? Well, that can be true once or twice maybe, but if it happens a lot, it can't always be "people out to get him." Where there is smoke, there is fire.

Unfortunately for you, tou are already hooked on this piece of work. Frankly he sounds like bad news to me and will mostly bring you heartache and pain in the long run.

My advice: break it off and date other people once you recover a bit. See what someone really nice can be like for a while. Maybe in 5-10 years he will have calmed down. Maybe not, but you should be able to evaluate his prospects with a more objective eye.

Answer 3

How old are you guys? If he cared about you any you should tell him to keep out of trouble if not for his sake than for yours, because he shouldn't be putting you in this position. One person can only get in trouble so many times without it being his 'fault', and if a court of law finds fault, there probably was some. The word of a judge and jury weighs more heavily than the brother of a juvenial delinquint.

And I'm not exactly sure you can say you love him very much if you've been going out for only three months. As much as you might take offense, his father might know a little bit more about him than you do.

Sit down with him, and tell him he needs to settle down for your sake because you deserve better. After that, you might want to talk to his parents and talk to them about him, especially if you think they are being tough on him for no reason.

Answer 4

i hate it when young girls think that they can make a person a better person than he is or wants to be. You are not innocent if you are under house arrest. I don't want to sound mean but you are very naive. Girl stop thinking you are going to make this guy a nice person...right now he likes the way he is and you will not change it no matter how much heart you have to love him...please for your own good....stop seeing him for two weeks and see if you feel the same...please just try it

Answer 5

My advice, cut yourself free from now. These troubles are not all his fault but alot are. You need to find another guy who isn't always in trouble with the law. Sooner or later you will start joining him in these troubles and you don't need that.

Answer 6

I dont think you can just decide to stop someone easily. I think you should love him but I don't think you should support his negative behavior. Try to find out what he wants or if he doesnt know what he wants show him something better something worth while that he would see value in and when he sees value in it, he will work toward a positive goal. Do you know what it is he seeks?

Answer 7

Wear those funy little cat ears to court and sexually entice the judge. And give him a good spanking too. Should be able to reduce your brother's bond.

Answer 8

Honey, I think that you should move on! I would take the fact that he has not called you as a sign! That it is time, you cannot put your life on hold, because this young man can not keep his nose clean!

Answer 9

it sounds like this relationship is kind of wearing you out. if you are having so many doubts then maybe you should confront your boyfriend with your concerns. personally to me it sounds like he is more trouble than what he is worth...my sister went through the same type of relationship and she was much happier once she was out of it.

Answer 10

You know, you need to just say bye-bye.

P.S....you could've saved yourself a little time; I decided that after the words "house arrest".