If you have kids or going to have kids would you?

Question

Teach them to be indepenedant by putting there stuff away, clean up there messes ect. or would you do everyhting for them so you can be there slave? I would let them be independant cause I was taught by my parents if it's your mess you clean it up, if it's your stuff you put it away, ect. I will not be a slave for my children yes I will do things for them but I do not want then to think that there are helpless and can not do anythign for themselves. It's not right you should teach your kids to be independant now who agrees with me on this yes or no and why?

Answer 1

I have taught my son to be independent. It works for both of us.

Answer 2

I have a 3 year old daughter who is naturally independent. She wants to do things for herself, she is always wanting to help around the house. I will do almost anything for my daughter at the same time I do encourage her to be independant. My daughter has chores of her own in which I supervise her in doing. Of course she is only 3 so yes at times I may have to go back and redo what she has done. But I really believe that children learn thru what they do. I believe in letting my child have hands on projects. Its helping her to become productive and I am teaching her to have respect and I am giving her life skills that she will need later on in life. Children learn things so fast when they are young and when they are young is the best time to teach them to be independent.

Answer 3

I totally agree with you. I have 3 children and one on the way. They all have their own specific things that they are expected to do in the house according to their particular age. My son and daughter ages 11 and 5 both pick up their rooms and playroom, vacuum. My son's job is to take the garbage out daily and out to the curb once a week. My 5 year old helps me load and unload the dishwasher and sort laundry. My 2 year old is starting to pick up her toys and books. When you have several children you have to have that structure plus all the help you can get! My son is even starting to work for my parents business on Saturdays for a couple hours and he's earning his own money. We are encouraging him to save and to use his own money when there are little extra things he wants from the store. Hopefully this will all pay off someday. If you want to do this with your children though you really must start at an early age. You can't just do everything for them for 10 years then expect them to all of a sudden become independent. That just doesn't work. Then it will be easier to just do it yourself.

Answer 4

Actually, teaching independence can be easy. Toddlers are naturally desiring independence. They want to pick out their clothes or water the plants or put things away by themselves. When parents intervene at that developmental age, then it becomes very easy for a child to become dependent on their parents and demanding. But once a child establishes their independence, they realize that when you do things for them, that it's a favor and they appreciate it more.

So, I agree with you.

Answer 5

I would totally agree, I am going to teach my kids to be independent. This is also a good thing to learn when you're a grown woman.. that you don't HAVE to have a man in your life. (vise - versa for men too) There's nothing wrong with being independent. Helping your kids doesn't mean they won't be. I think it goes in hand with being confident and responsible. Also, I have seen first hand what it's like to have a 19 year old who depends on his mommy to do EVERYTHING. His mother does his laundry, cleans his room, and even writes out his checks!! And might I mention this person is my brother in law and is in college to become a veternarian. Now how is he going to be sucessful in that field if he can't even wash his own laundry??

Answer 6

By teaching them to put their toys away, they do learn independence and responsibility. Just as important they learn about ownwership, what is beongs to them and where to keep it, find it etc.
It is very important for them to learn independence and if they see you and other family members always putting away things that will help.
If they do enough of this they will also learn that they have 'ownership' in their home.
Sounds like you are on the right track!
Being a slave to the children robs them of seeing you as a person and seeing themselves as equally important to you.
Good Luck, you sound like a good "thinking" parent.

Answer 7

Of course I agree. It is our jobs as parents to prepare our children for the outside world. I have teenage children that cook, clean take out the garbage, and do their own laundry. How will they know how to be independent if it doesn't start at home while they are young?

Answer 8

Yes you should teach your kids to be independent.What they learn now will stick with them forever.My 4 yr old probably has the cleanast room in the world.He doesnt play w/ any of his stuff because he says he doesnt want to pick up his mess.My husband wasnt taught how to clean up after his self when he was a kid he grew up in a messy house and now it sucks for me.He doesnt even take the trash out he lets it pile up.If he would have came from a cleaner place he probably wouldnt be like that..

Answer 9

Of course!!! and at an early age too!! the sooner the better. momy and daddy are not gonna be there to take care the child forever , eventually the are gonna have to do things on their own when they move out and get their own lives started. So you should teach independance as soon as you can! The child will be mad about it but later in life will come to appreciate it> Believe me I did!

Answer 10

I was never given chores or anything like that, and now I'm bad about doing those things. I think that children should clean up their own messes, but you shouldn't make them do all of the work around the house.

Answer 11

I agree with you 100%. I have a 2 year old and i have been teaching him how to do things on his own. He is very independent. I also think it helps him understand things better and mature faster than his other cousins.