Funny stories let me know the funniest will get 10 pointz......?

Question

my funniest will have to be Facle just an inside joke between me and Danny someone from camp......who knows what it means but it is so funny! So tell me some funny stories and funniest will get 10 pointz!
thanxs i feel the need to laugh

Answer 1

my friend invite me to watch a golf first i don't want to watch golf coz i think its so boring and it was my first time to watch golf but when i heard the news that my crush is a player of the game i will going to watch "golf" i said yes to my friend then when the game start i was so ciourious why its soooo quiet! then when i saw my crush my ciouriousity was gone..then when my crush shoot to the hole i can't stop but shout yehey!! lorenz go go go!! you can do it!!! you can do it!! then all the ppl in the game was staring even my crush then i hear my friend laughing silently then my face turn red! one of my friend "lea" said "its golf elle not a basket ball game" and i turn really red and i hate the ground for not swalowing me up that time!!

Answer 2

A couple years ago me and my brother were both sitting in the back seat of my dad's car. He was really getting on my nerves and I bet him 5 dollars that he couldn't go the rest of the day with out aggrivating me. Well he had a better idea. He didn't talk all night. I had a really important question to ask him and he wouldn't talk for anything . So finally i had to beg him to aggrivate me just so I could ask him that question.

Answer 3

An elderly Italian Jew wanted to unburden his guilty conscience by talking to his Rabbi. "Rabbi, during World War II, when the Germans entered Italy, I pretended to be a Catholic and changed my name from Levy to Spumoni, and I am alive today because of it."

"Self preservation is allowable, and the fact that you never forgot that you were a Jew is admirable," said the Rabbi."Rabbi, during the war, a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to feel guilty."

"It's worse, Rabbi. I was weak and told her she must repay me with sexual favors, which she did, repeatedly."

"You were both in great danger and would have suffered terribly if the Germans had found her. There is a favorable balance between good and evil, and you will be judged kindly. Give up your feelings of guilt."

"Thank you, Rabbi. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."

"And what is that?"

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

Answer 4

I was driving down the road once and going about 50 mph, when i see this truck pull out of his business. In the back of his truck there happened to be in it something that we all hate...port-a-potty! It came flying off the truck when he took the turn and slammed into my car breaking my side mirror. It wasn't filled with anything, but it sure did make my day crappy!

Answer 5

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 6

My brother was exercising (aka practicing his kung fu moves) and he fell flat on his face and half of his front tooth chipped off.