make me laugh?

Question

the more you talk about stupid actions the better chance of best answer

Answer 1

i don't make stupid actions or answer to make some1 laugh just for points... but try this:
the family story:
mother open her computer to send email to her son

from:mother
to:jake
email adress:[e-mail]

hi so! ho hav yo bee? it so lon sinc we las se eac othe.coul u tur of you compute an go downstai to hav lunc?

then jake saw this e mail from his mother
he replied and said:
from:jake
to:mother
email adress:[e-mail]

mother? have u study grammar since your teenager? your like a nursery student when u send e mails to me.. you always miss one word! my teacher can teach you the proper grammar.

his mother saw his e mail and replied
from:mother
to:jake
e mail adress:[e-mail]
son,i stud gramma jus to le yo kno... yo ar th on wh mis word whe yo sen me e mail!
jake was shocked and replied
from:jake
to:mother
e mail adress:[e-mail]
no i'm not! you are!
mother was shocked and replied
from:mother
to:jake
e mail adress:[e-mail]
you notty child!! be prepare! i will spank you!! you notty and presevert child!
jake read this mail and replied
from: jake
to:mother
e mail adress:[e-mail]
hahaha! u can't u can't! i'm away! ble :b
jake wait for a long time for his motherto replied and suddenly some1 knock on his room and jake open the door and............
jake was suprised!
"mother?!!! why are u here"
mother:just to spank and ground u for weeks!haha
and the mother of jake spend all night spanking jake!!

Answer 2

I found a collection of funny crap....



I haven’t tried this, but it seems like it would be hilarious to try out. Just knowing that some fool is going to call it thinking they’re going to get a date with you…

Rejection line: If you are a woman/man and are constantly approached by unattractive or undesirable women/men asking for your phone number, give them this number:

Atlanta: 770-908-7383
Baltimore: 410-347-1488
Boston: 617-658-7083
Charlotte: 704-559-4169
Chicago: 773-509-5096
Cleveland: 216-556-0051
Dallas: 972-504-6270
Denver: 303-575-1696
Houston: 713-866-6249
Los Angeles: 310-217-7638
Miami: 305-460-3285
New York City: 212-479-7990
San Diego: 858-492-8002
San Francisco: 415-356-9833
Seattle: 206-781-3928
Las Vegas: 702-387-2619
Washington, DC: 202-452-7468

When the person calls this number they get a friendly message saying that they were rejected. hahahahahaha


have a friend, Brandy, who was told if you gargle paroxide it will make your teeth whiter. When she did it her gums also turned white. Being the bright blonde that she is, she panicked and ate a piece of red candy to turn her gums back pink. Needless to say her newly whitened teeth were also red.

My old roommate had a burned out turn indicator. After telling him about it, he asked, "Do you think it needs more blinker fluid?"

One day my sister, mother and I were all in the kitchen. My mother began to make dinner when my sister asked if she wanted some help. My mother of course said; "Yes, you can help by getting the ingredients out." My sister began to get all the ingredients out when my mother asked, "What are the olives for?" My sister replied, "We need olive oil."

My friend Emily and I went to K-Mart. We were walking to the restrooms. I found a motorized cart. I hopped on cart. We went to the undergarments (after the restroom). Next thing I know the wheel on the cart got stuck on a bra rack. Next thing I know bra's are all over me, the cart and the floor. I stood up in shock and did not realize that there were people standing there. Emily shouts out "It's a miracle, you can walk."


My ex-wife once called me at a bar and asked, "Where are you?"


I went to McDonalds's the other day, and ordered a cheeseburger with ketchup only, meaning bread, meat, cheese, and ketchup. When I pulled away from the window, I checked the burger to make sure it didn't have anything but ketchup, and there was no cheese on it! I drove around and said to the guy at the window "This doesn't have any cheese."He said "Right, you ordered it with ketchup only."

I worked the night shift at a restaurant and every Friday night the same 5 deaf men would come to eat. They usually came very late and often stayed passed closing time. One night when they had stayed well passed closing time, I asked my boss if he could please give them some kind of sign that we would like to close the restaurant so they would leave. He reached up and shut off the music.



IF they don't make YA laugh I hope The link does....

Answer 3

9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their *** to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!
5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Dumb-***?

Answer 4

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 5

Stay away from the professional teeth whitening procedures and from the whitening at home kits. They are using extremely toxic chemicals that can cause IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE TO TOOTH ENAMEL and premature tooth decay.

Check out this site: http://www.naturalwhiteteeth.net - It's about how you can whiten your teeth 100% naturally. Same results but 100% safe and 1000 times cheaper.

Answer 6

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembrs how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style.... It makes your nose look long."

Answer 7

How's this for a laugh?
When I was working at a local hospital in the emergency room, I was told to bring a corpse down to the morgue...Now the morgue at that time was straight across from the hospital eatery...While pushing the gurney down the hall, there were two gals walking to the cafeteria, and the corpse let out a very knarly sound, and his false leg fell to the floor...The girls were so shook up, they flew down the hall in hysterics...I, in the meantime finished my job, and got locked up in the morgue...While waiting to be let out, I found out for lunch, they were serving chicken fingers...Did I eat there or not?

Answer 8

There was a young lady from Exeter;
so pretty, that men craned their necks at her.
(One went so far
as to wave, from his car,
the distinguishing mark of his sex at her!)

Sailor with a pelican on his head goes to a psychiatrist. Doctor says "Come in, sit down. Now, tell me how this all began." Pelican says "Well Doc, it started out as a wart on my butt!"

Customer: "Waiter, what's your thumb doing on my steak!"
Waiter: "Keeping it from falling on the floor again, sir."

Laugh, or I'll tell them again!

Answer 9

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Its the only tough twister i've been able to say without a slip for 30yrs. lol. But what i'd like to know is how much wood did the dam thing chuck? lol
Take care.

Answer 10

A note from one housemate to another.....

Hi Jim,

There was a little "incident" at your house today while you were gone. Please allow me to explain:

I was watching TV and I heard this beeping going off in the kitchen. The first thing I thought of was that the smoke detector going off, so I ran into the kitchen and checked everything out. By the time I got to the kitchen, the beeping had stopped and I couldn't smell any smoke.

I went back to watching my movie and I kept hearing a beep every minute. I knew that the type of smoke detector that you have is the type that took a few minutes to reset itself. I kept watching my movie, and about 10 minutes later I was really getting pissed off that the beeping continued. I paused the movie, ran out to the kitchen, unhooked the detector, and went back to enjoy the movie.

Beep.

Having a college degree in electronics, I knew that the capacitors could hold a charge after the batteries were removed, and about 20 minutes later I was really getting pissed because I could still hear the beeping. And I got so mad, I went out and grabbed a pair of wire cutters and cut the speaker off the smoke detector and left it sitting on the counter before returning to the movie.

Beep.

Now I was fuming! I listened to that damned "beep" about three more times, then I finally got a hammer and pounded the ever-loving snot out of your damned smoke detector on the counter. (It beeped while I was pounding it.) It was really getting me mad. I sat back down and resumed the movie.

Beep.

I had the wire cutters in my hand and I went out (curious to see what the hell could still be running it) and cut all the little parts into pieces, and put half into a little plastic container and left half on the counter. I took half the parts over to the living room thinking "if it beeps I know it's these", and half the parts I left on the counter knowing it would be them.

In moments I heard the parts in the kitchen beep. So I took them into the living room and spread them on the table, staring at them, saying to myself "the part that beeps WILL get smashed." Not three seconds later, the parts I just had, now on the counter in the kitchen beeped. I was livid! I thought to myself, "his smoke detector is posessed!".

I brought all the parts into the living room and layed them out on the coffee table. I was staring at them, just waiting for one of them to beep so I could smash the crap out of it.

All of a sudden, I hear "beep", but it was coming from the kitchen. I walked back there, all freaked out. I just waited ..... and waited ..... it seemed like hours but was only about 30 seconds later, I heard the mystifing "beep" coming from ..... your jacket? I looked in the jacket and found your pager that you had left at home by mistake.

All I could do at that point was take my hammer and beat the electronic life out of your pager, because I was the one who paged you.

I've gone to the store to get you a new pager & smoke detector. Be back soon.

Dave