PARENTS! Would you let your children learn a lesson the Hard or Easy Way?

Question

i was just curious what other people would say on this topic. i'm a teen. ex- like a teen girl who go out and party, go out with lots of guys, get pregnant. etc. would you stop her and tell what's going to happen if she don't stop or let her learn the hard way?
this topic does not only apply to women. males too. on any situation. what would you do? if you try really hard to help but they wont listen, will you give up on them?
HARD WAY OR EASY WAY??

Answer 1

as a parent it really depends on what the lesson is if it is something that will do bodily or long term harm i will intervene but something that may only hurt her feelings for a few days she can learn the hard way like im going to tell my daughter it will burn her when she asks why she cant play near a hot oven instead of letting her touch it and burn herself i already know im not gonna be havin grandbabies while she is still in school one way or another but say i tell her if she writes on her favorite toy she it will be trash and she does i throw the thing away and she cries but she will learn if in the future she dates a boy that is no good or has a friend that is untrue it would be a waste of breath to tell her so i can only be there to comfort her when she finds out as for a teen that parties alot and sleeps around the solution is supervision because telling her what the consequences could be isnt going to stop her only a parent who lays down the law can do that

Answer 2

I sort of agree and sort of disagree. First, I agree with you on the fact that spanking was the first punishment ever created and that people need to accept the fact that times have changed. However I do not think spanking is child abuse. Second, spanking a child and beating a child are two different things. Spanking can't cause deaths but beatings can. Yes you are supposed to raise your child not train them. A parents job is to teach a child right from wrong by rewarding when a child does something right and disciplining and punishing when a child does something wrong. Spanking teaches nothing except it's ok for me to hit my mommy when she does something I don't like. Which is wrong. Third, yes I agree. I think the people that weren't spanked turned out better than the ones who were. Fourth, here's where I disagree with you. You should not hit a child back when they hit you because that's just telling them that hitting is okay. Fifth, I agree with this paragraph because there are many more ways to discipline than spaniKing. Your sixth paragraph I also disagree with. If you show a child a video of someone being hit by a car you will probably just traumatized them. Which Is mental/emotional abuse. No matter how much you baby proof your home a kid could still get hurt. Personally I would much rather have a sore hand or bottom then be in the emergency room with severe burns. Technically letting a child get hurt and calling it a natural consequence could be considered abuse. Neglect more specifically. So technically your alternative to spanking is more abusive than spanking is. Seventh, I agree. I will also say though that you should make sure that you listen to your child too if u want them to listen to you. Eigth, actually this generation is alot better than the previous because back then parents were alot more cruel, abusive, and heartless than they are now. Although some still are. Finally, your last paragraph I agree with. Some parents don't deserve to have children. So you are right there really is no reason to spank a child however it's not child abuse it's just bad parenting.

Answer 3

When my child's life is at question I'm going to try the easy route first. I wouldn't want him to contract any fatal diseases or end up with a child while still a child himself. Other things, things that won't harm him physically or scar him emotionally, I can tell him how I feel, but sometimes he may just have to learn the hard way. I had to get my first and only F before I listened and got organized in school. I've been a straight A student ever since. I don't think babies understand HOT is HOT until they feel something that is remotely HOT. Otherwise they have NO reason to have caution. I'm NOT saying let the child burn himself, but the word has to have some meaning.

Answer 4

If the lesson is going to have life consequences, absolutely not. I will always tell my son/daughter what is wrong and right and the consequences behind it. It depends on what kind of lesson it is. Some have to be learned on your own downfall and the hardway but some can be avoided.

Believe me, there is no reason why a teen should be doing stuff she or he would be regreting later on. Going around with lots of guys and getting pregnant, and going to lots of parties is not what a teen should be doing. There will be enough time to do that later on in life.

Answer 5

As for pregnancy and drugs, I would want to protect and inform my child as much as possible. That is a lesson that impacts an entire lifetime. There are some things people just have to learn the hard way, though. Things like love and work ethics and consequences for certain behaviors can be learned the hard way without being detramental to a whole life.

Answer 6

I am a mom. I would definitely warn my daughter of the risks she is taking. As you know, most of us learn our lessons the hard way. Even if I tried to stop my daughter or son from doing this kind of thing, I couldn't. When a person is determined to do this kind of thing, sex, partying..etc. usually a threat from a parent will not stop them. As a loving parent I have tried to teach my children correct principles. Hopefully through my example and the way they have been taught they will make good choices. But unfortunately most things in life are learned through experiences good and bad. I would never give up on my child. My love for them is unconditional. I may be disappointed in their bad choices but I will always be available to them for help or whatever they need. My love for my children is eternal...it doesn't go away.

Answer 7

Easy at first like id pull her aside and tell her what is going to happen...then id make her start babysitting on the weekends lil kids and stuff instead of going out. if that didnt work Id go to HARD way where she can do everything on her own if she thinks shes a big girl and she'd have to get a part time job{working fastfood and dealing with people cause thats whats going to happen if she gets pregnant} and pay part of the bills at the house. you can never give up on your kids. if you give up on your kids then your giving up on being a parent!

Answer 8

having been one of those rebellious daughters who went out partying and had sex with boys (though never getting pregnant), i can say that my reasons for doing so would not have been affected by any rule she would place or anything she said. i think what have helped me the most is if she had the ability to have a healthy relationship with me and could have treated me with respect that i needed at that time. i drank and smoked because i liked the high. why did i like getting high? because i wasn't happy enough to be high on my own and i was bored. perhaps parents need to be more communicative with their children to find out what is creating the unhappiness and how to work on solving it. having unconditional love and acceptance from a parent can help a teen's emotional security and self-esteem and could prevent them from searching elsewhere to find it before they are really ready aka: in sexual relationships. as for the boredom factor, getting kids involved in healthy fun activities can help replace the need to go out and search for fun in ways that parents disapprove of.
also, i think education is the best form of preventing undesirable behavior. give them the facts in a loving way without judgement and then allow the kid to make their own choices.

Answer 9

As a parent you will always try your best to make them understand the big mistake they are about to make if they keep on that direction (metaphorical speaking). You never want to see your child struggling in life, but sometimes when you already try all ways possible to avoid that then...I guess you just let them do what they want to do in the first place, hoping they learn from that experience, but I would never give up on them.

Answer 10

You have to step in and not allow her to hurt herself. Learning the hard way doesn't mean let someone suffer a life long consequence. You have to spend time showing her why it is wrong and show real examples in order to make her understand.