should i keep my baby?

Question

i'm 21going on 22 in september, and i'm 5 weeks pregnant i still live with my mother.I work and my job is ok for me right now but i'm trying to become a police officer.my boyfriend is in the process of finding a job but doesn't have one yet.he also live with his mother.he is20years of age.if i get ride of it this will be my second abortion and since my first one i swore that if i was to ever get pregnant again that i would handle the responablity of haveing a child but im scared i don't know what do.

Answer 1

If I were you, I'd keep it. But that is a very personal decision!

How does your mother feel about it? How does your boyfriend feel about it? Since there are basically three adults involved in this, I think you should ask them. It is possible to continue your education and work with a baby, especially if the other people in your life are supportive.

You would be surprised how easily a baby wins people over.

Answer 2

It is so hard to be a good parent, even when you have all the comforts of a good education and a good job. I'd never tell anyone what to do in a situation like this, but it sounds as if you have doubts about your ability to handle things, and you don't have all the means you need to become a parent in the way that you think a child deserves.

I think that no matter what you choose, abortion, adoption, or deciding to keep the baby and start your family you will be fine. Just make sure that you think the situation through and you are satisfied that you won't regret the results. All of these options have positives and negatives....things that will make you happy, and things that will leave you feeling upset about them. It is definitely a hard choice that you have to make.

You sound pretty sensible from the tone of your question. I have faith you will do what is right for you. Please get help making the decision from the dad, and do what you know will be right for you in the long run. Having a baby that you aren't ready for can be bad for both you and the baby, but it is definitely your choice.

{{{{Good luck!}}}}}

PS...all of these "abortion is murder" responses are crap....just ignore that sh*t...do what you need to do. Don't bring a baby into this world that you can't be a good mom too and you aren't going to give up for adoption. You do what you have to do for you.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. I was 17 when I had an abortion, and swore I would never do it again. my partner and I swore that if I ever got pregnant again, that was it.

I was 20 when I fel pregnant again (same partner). We were terrified. We were living out of home, studying, and as poor as you could possibly imagine. FILTHY DIRTY poor. Shamefully poor.

We considered another abortion, but couldn't bring ourselves to it. We considered adoption, but I knew in my heart of hearts, once I saw her (yes, I had found out her sex), I would never be able to let her go. (I was right).

We swallowed our pride, told my parents, and asked if we could move back in with them. They OF COURSE agreed, and have just been such a wonderful prescence from them on, not only in our lives, but our daughters lives! She just loves having grandma and grandad upstairs to dote on her and buy her special little treats!

We have worked out a nice arrangement where we have our own space downstairs, we have an ensuite and a kitchenette and stuff, along with our room and the nursery area. We share the main kitchen, and I usually cook dinner and do the dishes in exchange for rent (I know, how easy is that!). We negotiate things like bills, Mum and Dad normally fill the fridge with the main staples, and we just buy anything extra that we want to *spice* up the staples!

I know it seems scary, it is worse than that. TERRIFYING.

But the rewards are so great. I know, cliched, but your heart will melt and you will wonder how you ever survived without this person in your life before. Nothing will ever seem too hard or too great again. Things will find a way to work themselves out. I am back to my degree and will be finished by the time she turns 15 months. My partner just won a full time position over another worker of his age BECAUSE he was a father. They knew he was in it for the long haul! My point being, everyone feels the way you do at some point. In a year or so you will look back and think that asking this question was the best thing you ever did because you ending up making the best decision of your life.

Good luck and congratulations with everything :-)

Answer 4

Please do not abort this baby. Even if you do not think you can care for it yourself, there are so many families out there who wold love to adopt your child. Many women for one reason or another cannot have their own children. My sister hasn't been able to conceive her own child but has had the blessing of adopting two childen. She adopted the first one when he was just two weeks old, he is now four, and the second one was just a year old, she is now 15 months old. They have brought such happiness to her life. She is a great Mom...she is an older Mom she's now 42, but she and her husband are giving these two children wonderful lives full of love. They want to adopt atleast two more. I have five children of my own, the youngest I adopted at the age of 18 months from Russia. You can raise this child yourself, it would not be easy but believe me it would be worth it. You can also find a couple now to adopt your baby. They would provide for you all the medical care and other needs you may have. Please prayerfully consider this decision. Your baby, though small...tiny in fact, does have a beating heart. Each day it grows and developes even more. I know you are scared, that's perfectly normal. If you need to talk or need some help, please email me. A really good adoption agency is Tedi Bear Adoptions in Ponte Vedra Beach Florida. Tedi Hedstrom is the director and a very good friend of mine. She will do what ever it takes to help you. She has like 17 adopted children of her own, some are from the states and others from all over the world. The number is [phone]. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Why do you think that abortion is the only answer? What about adoption? It sounds like you have a place to stay and goals in your life so why don't you want the baby? If you can't take care of the child, give it to a family that can. There are so many couples out there that aren't able to have kids and would do anything to have one. Before you make any kind of life decision like aborting your baby, at least explore the idea of adoption. Go talk to someone at an adoption agency. I believe it is your choice, but make an informed decision!

Answer 6

I'm sure you are totally scared right now, and honestly what your life sounds like right now, is you shouldn't keep it! It does depend on how much longer you have before becoming a police officer! But do you think you could keep working at it and goig to school if you had a baby! Think of what is best for you and for your baby! You should never keep a baby out of guilt! It's so unfair to the child! Trust me, i know! I was that child!
Adoption is a good choice, you can still have pictures and such, some even allow visits!
This is something you need to think long and hard about! The best interests of your baby are at stake! If you don't think you could give her all she/he deserves, give it up! But it's hard work doing it alone!
Good Luck!

Answer 7

Hey hun---Look straight up--This is YOUR choice whether to keep this child or not. BUT--Think about this---You've already had one abortion, when you slipped and got pregnant. NOW---NO OFFENSE--But, you didn't even learn and you are pregnant again(On accident I''m assuming?). This child deserves better! If you don't want this child PLZ atleast go through delivery and give him/her up for adoption. There are plenty of women who would love to adopt your child and love them dearly in a stable and healthy marriage/relationship with their husband/boyfriend. Your baby could be the next ALbert Einstein, or Martin Luther King Jr., you never know the possibilities. PLUS- It must have been sooo painful for you to go through the abortion---atleast I hope you have a heart. If you DON'T want kids--DON'T have SEX PERIOD. Or , if you still want to have sex USE A CONDOM AND COMMON SENSE. Use birth control---BUT, don't use the pull-out method. Think about this---What's gonna happen if in 5-10 years from now you want to try for babies and you can't? What if this is your last chance of being a mom? God works in mysterious ways, and I don't think he's going to just let you go right ahead and have 2 abortions, and THEN have a child later in life to raise. I know I sound harsh---but that would be very selfish of you. Keep your legs closed if you don't want any babies. We have enough un-wed mothers running around with 10 kids each on WIC /Foodstamps/and Wel-fare. Give the baby a chance to live.

Answer 8

Keep it! Im sure you are older/more mature now and it seems like you want to better yourself and you have your mind set on a good career. A baby is a gift of God and is the best thing that can happen to a woman - you won't regret it! You will fall in love with your baby - and i mean TRUE love. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love my kids - it's an incredible feeling. I had my son at 18 - and everything worked out fine. My parents helped me a lot and im sure your mom will too.

You know that a lot of women raise their kids on their own. I will give you my man's mom as an example. She was 22 when she got pregnant with him, her man left her and she was (like u) looking into getting into the police force. She had him, got into the police force, had another kid later on and raised them both on her own - she is now a detective with 25 years on the force. My point for giving you that story - I don't want you to be like - "oh, my man isn't going to stick around, he don't want the baby, so I won't have it". If your man is gonna help you - that's great, but if he doesn't you can do it by yourself - trust me. Good Luck!

Answer 9

As an adoptive mother of 2 wonderful children I would tell you to look into adoption. You still have a long time to think about this. I am grateful every day that two wonderful women did not go through with abortions and helped make me a mother. My children are fully aware that they were adopted and we are in touch with their birthmothers. How wonderful for them to be loved by so many people. It works out for everyone involved. It is a big decision, but I think one that could leave you with more peace.

Answer 10

You can apply for help, your man can get a job and you guys can figure this out together. Although you two still live at home you are adults and a child is a beautiful thing. I can understand one abortion becuase people make mistakes but now you should really try and make the best of the situation and you guys get it together. Best of luck everything will work out!