i feel really sorry for him. i've tried comforting him, doing errands for him, anything i could think of. should i just give it time? he seems pretty solitary now. should i just leave him alone?
2006-08-20 12:36:36 · 17 answers · asked by kbananas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
that's so sad, i feel for him and his family.....let him grieve for his sister, there isn't anything you can do to take away his pain, as much as you don't like seeing him hurt this way, the grieving process can take a long time to help deal with accepting the loss of a loved one. the pain will never go away completely, but he will eventually learn to live with it.
2006-08-20 12:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by leolady0765 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your BF's loss.
I lost my own brother to cancer, so I know what he might be going through. My advice to you is to just let him grieve in his own way. Be there for him (helping with errands is good), but give him space and let him come out and talk about his feelings when he's ready. Know as well that he might have some emotional ups and downs for a while and may take some of it out on you or other people -- if it happens, try to roll with it.
In time, he'll heal enough to go on with his life, but the sadness may be there for a long time -- I still thought about my brother a lot for several years after he was gone.
2006-08-20 19:56:48 · answer #2 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give him some time, he is probably in shock from this, and needs some time to get over it. Comfort him, but don't over do it. Be there for him when he is ready to talk about it, and make sure that you let him know that you love him, and you might try to see if his mother needs anything as well. This has to be very devastating for the family, and it will be a good way for you to show your support to them, and just how much their son means to you
2006-08-20 19:46:25 · answer #3 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some space to sort things out and deal with them, but also let him know you're around if he needs you. Check in every once in a while to see if he needs anything or just bring him little somethings... maybe send him a thinking of you card or bring him a plate of cookies. The little gestures will help, but he probably needs room to breath. In time he will come around. This will probably be the hardest thing he ever has to go through. Good luck.
2006-08-20 19:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by poopdoll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sad. It is a terrible void for him and his family. Only time will heal and then it will never go away. The grief he has will go with him to his grave. Let him know you care. Not much else you can do. He will later on become accepted in his sister's death and then he will slowly come back to you. It might take a long time, but don't give up. He needs your support and you just being there for him.
2006-08-20 20:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, everything you are doing for him is appreciated, he's just in a world of hurt. He could be going through a lot of emotions right now. My friend when he lost his brother, was angry with hisself. They had a fight over something stupid, and he never apologized for it. My cousin lost his little brother, and he felt guilty for not being the one that had cancer and died. The little brother was an angel, perfect grades, just a nice kid. My cousin was a little hell raiser, into very bit of trouble he could find.
My nephew, 25, just died of a heartattack, and his Mom is driving herself crazy, because she scared he didn't know how much she loved him.
Ask him what you can do! Lots of times, people just don't ask. He may need you to hold his hand in the dark, he may want you to give him some space. Ask him, tell him you want to help him, but just aren't sure how to do that. Don't just leave him, ask him!
If he says give him sometime, back off a little, but not far away!
We don't know exactly what he's feeling right now, because we haven't lost a little sister to cancer. He might just be scared...death is frightening to some people. So, honey please be handy when he's ready to talk.
Thank you for being so concerned for him, he's a very lucky guy, I know he doesn't feel it right now, but to have someone like to care so much! He's lucky!
God bless us all.................
2006-08-20 20:12:18 · answer #6 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just try talking to him one more time. If he gets upset just tell him " Well, I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need sum1 to talk to . I understand that this is a difficult time for you, but I really want to help you get through it." Some people handle things their own strange ways. He can take or leave your offer. but either way it's not ur fault and in the end he'll be happy that you tried to help him out. Good luck w/ ur boyfriend....
2006-08-20 20:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by sweetthang93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that he knows you are there to help is a great factor in his healing. His answer will come, and as long as he is willing to deal with his grief in healthy ways he will be well on his way to accepting, and living with, his little sister's passing. Perhaps good music might help him, too.
2006-08-20 19:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by lightbeam1270 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When something like that happens nothing much can cheer him up. Don't try so hard, just be there for him. Be there to listen and comfort him, that's all you can really do.
2006-08-20 19:43:12 · answer #9 · answered by Kristin Swenson 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As difficult as it is for you to watch him go through this, there's nothing concrete that you can do for him.
Just be there for him. If he needs someone to talk to, be there to listen to him. If he needs time alone, give him space. But make sure to let him know that you are there if he needs you.
2006-08-20 19:43:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋