He is very smart but I do get concerned sometimes. He has been called strange because he likes to play alone and talk to himself. He has a very hard time apologising and sometimes doesnt seem to feel bad when he makes a mistake.He is very stubborn. Alot of this is my fault as when he was young I didnt discipline him properly and we have moved alot so his social skills are a bit lacking. Anyone else ever see this? I do worry and just want him to be happy. His teacher says he is a good stufent and interacts very well and normally. I also think he has issues with his split family situation. When he is good hes great and at other times he worries me. Thanks for anything.
2006-08-20 12:25:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
thank you all for your answers, they were very comforting. i really appreciate everyones time.
2006-08-21 12:52:57 · update #1
If he is a very smart boy, it's possible that he is analyzing everything that has occurred in his life and is trying to figure out how to cope with it. If you're not talking to him as much as you should be, he's going to look for answers *somewhere.*
He's a bit of a loner because he doesn't know who else will be "taken" from him, so he has a hard time wanting to make friends. In his own mind, he's "safer" being by himself because there's no one else to lose.
You'll need to have patience with him and respect his boundaries - he may be "just a kid," but he still deserves respect as all humans do (unless they do something to lose it, like terrorists, pedophiles, and so on). If he seems to want to open up to you, allow him the space to do so. Don't prod him for more, even though you're eager to help him cope with the situation.
And discipline is all about providing *guidance* to a child, and it's not necessarily about punishment. Sure, he should learn that his mistakes can be hurtful to others, but you'll also have to allow him to be able to live them down. It can be tempting for a parent at wit's end to use past errors against a child to bring him in line, but all you end up doing there is creating a "perfectionist." Don't succumb to the easy way out.
Perhaps you can get together with other single parents with children his age, but with the focus on you *adults* getting to know each other. If the kids hit it off, let them go play. If your son is interacting with other kids "well and normally," perhaps he'll come out of his loner shell fairly quickly. But understand that kids often move around from school to school as their parents' jobs take them away, so he might "lose" future friends that way. You will have to take the time to explain things to him as such events arise. But let him know that you're not going anywhere, and you'll always be there for him, too. Of course, if anything should happen to you, there's no way to account for that - just make sure you have trusted family members always available to care for him should something happen to you. Eventually, I think he'll be OK.
Good luck. : )
2006-08-20 12:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by wheezer_april_4th_1966 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what we really think is that he learned some where and some reason that he learned that he can only count on himself. He don't really trust many people. Or maybe has seen someone or many people get hurt many times...especially someone clost to him. Also there might be some kind of abuse some where going on...check in on it. Ask questions. Other than that it could be a phase, and get him into some kind of activities like cub scouts or basketball or something that can get him involved with others. Maybe he's just really the shy type.But I have a 10 year old niece is going through the same thing. But she has been Molested by her 13year old Uncle. She really didn't have anyone she could confide in but me. Her mother calls her a liar and a thief and trouble maker or even a whore. Its not fair to her. When I have her here at my house she is so happy and great. I hate sending her back home to my sister and her boyfriend who I suspect is abusing her as well. She is very bitter towards them both. But there is a lot of hurt and anger there between them. I hope its not too late for her. As I hope you find out what is going on with your son. Also be very patient with him and love him no matter what.
2006-08-23 16:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by missbehave252002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to his side of life as I went to 7 different schools by the time I was in third grade. I also preferred to play alone and it took years to feel socially accepted. There is one big difference though, and that is I was disciplined for things I didn't do or understand.
I believe that as long as he knows ( and I mean you have to say it regularly) that you love him and that he is a good person ( for his self esteem) he will be fine and an above average intelligent man.
So what if he prefers his own company better than social situations. That will change with age. Whatever he is into, encourage and support him as best you can. Let him know you love him unconditionally and he'll develop (of course you still need to discipline bad behavior, he is not bad- the behavior is) into a fine young man.
It will pay off in the long run. Your parenting skills do come back to you when your children become the parents themselves. And to me it sounds like you are doing a fine job. Keep it up and I hope I helped somehow.
2006-08-20 12:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by allannela 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he gets good grades and his teacher says he interacts well in school with others, let it go.....development in social skills sometimes takes a long time. Try doing more things with him and with other kids.....split family situations sometimes has nothing to do with his behavior. Mine were all fine during our divorce, in fact, they did much better when we were in our new place. Maybe he is just trying to readjust.....he is only five years old....give him time and lots of love and patience......always be there for him.
2006-08-24 09:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's 10 they are probable only his acquaintances. supply up examining too a lot into it, in the experience that they are those type of calls why does your son supply out your variety and picture it really is okay? Take some duty and educate the boy some morals instead of coming to Yahoo speaking nonsense, how old are you? 15? appearing like a baby.
2016-11-05 06:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many different forms of autism. I can't help but wonder if he may suffer from a slighter form. The key I think is to provide the most loving home possible. Sometimes that means we need to be completely unselfish. It means as parents we have to stand still sometimes so that our kids can move forward. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just follow your instincts.
2006-08-20 13:45:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rather than ask people in here take him to a paediatrition. Does the school have a psychologist that can sit in on the class to watch how he is (ours offers this). If a parent is concerned it is usually for a good reason. Seek professional help for him
2006-08-20 14:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI.. my oldest is like this.. she is now 7 1/2 yrs old and is still a bit of a loner.. I just always try to put her into things to make her socialize and I always try to keep our communication lines open since she doesn't talk a whole lot. My daughter too is very smart.. it just takes her a bit longer to finish things.. she is quiet and very stubburn at times too... in Kindergarten she was playing on the playground by herself... imagine the pain I felt because of her doing that.. made me feels so bad for her, but that is what she wanted.. she has always been like that... she even has a younger sister and still plays alot by herself.. she is just very unique.. just keep him active with other kids and try talking to him often about his feelings and such.. maybe even try getting him into counceling and maybe he will talk with them about what he is feeling... your a good mom to be concerned... so talk to his dr and school councelor about it too... if the teacher says he is fine... then chances are... at school he may be fine, I know how you feel concerned though, I do too... hang in there and maybe this will pass and before we know it.. they will be well rounded soical butterfly individuals, well we can at least dream LOL... good luck!
2006-08-20 12:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by nknicolek 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well the teacher thinks he intereacts quite normally so I would 'n worry. Your child may also be an introvert in which case he is just fine and do not try to change him. YOu will do more harm than good if you do.
2006-08-22 06:38:34 · answer #9 · answered by Carp 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My nephew is the same exact way. His mom found a book called "The Spirited Child." Trust me you have to read this book. It has described my nephew to a "T." It will help you get through to him on those hard days.
2006-08-20 13:09:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋