How do I get out of this?

Question

I just can't seem to tell people no when they ask for volunteers.
While at a local function, a church member asked me if I would take nursery duty for 3 times this year....I said yes. I got the flyer and they put me down for aug 20, Dec 24 and April.

I had my first round this morning, and had to take my twin 8 year olds with me because I couldn't leave them. It was a nightmare!

The worst part is that they had so much "fun" playing with the babies, that they want to keep going back and not go to church!

I really don't want to give up our Christmas vacation for this, and don't really want to trade anyone a day.

How can I get out of this gracefully without hurting anyone's feelings?

Answer 1

In the first place, you need to know when no is the best answer for them, not you. And at this point I would suggest that this is not a gift in your talent bag.

In the second place, you need to understand that saying yes is not always God's will. If you are overtaxed for time, talent, and other resources, you will resent giving and this is only good to impress people, not God. (God loves a cheerful giver)

In the third place, your primary ministry is your family. If your kids are looking for an opportunity to escape church, you need to find a church or class that blesses them in their relationship with God.

In the fourth place, the scheduler should have contacted you before scheduling you for such an important date as Christmas Eve. To me, this qualifies as a slight.

The cure for this is to sit down and consider what your relationship with God is about. Is it for impressing men, or is it about impressing God?

Answer 2

The Christmas date is easy - tell them that you are very sorry, but you and your family have decided to go away during that time, and you will be unable to be there.
Since there are lots of people going with you, obviously, you cannot get out of it or change the date, and staying home alone without your family in order for you to do nursery duty would be out of the question.
Therefore, it is out of your hands entirely, and will be viewed as a totally acceptable excuse. No one would expect you to give up a family holiday.

For the April date, you will either have to tell a little white lie, (which will likely make you feel guilty), or tell them the truth far in advance, (don't put it off, 'cause it only gets harder as the date gets closer), that as much as you'd like to help out, perhaps you can be of service in a different way. You can tell them truthfully, that since you have young children of your own, you have found this job to be impossible for you to schedule and attend. When your twins get older, you would "love" to be more involved.

Just remember, this seems like a very big deal to you, and you are worried about letting them down. But to them, it will just involve a simple scheduling change, and will not be anywhere near as important as it feels to you.

I always ask myself "what is the worst thing that could happen with this situation?" , and that helps me to crystallize my fears. If the worst thing that you imagine will happen is that they will be angry with you, well, they will soon become glad again. If the worst thing is that you are embarrased to tell them, just get it over with, and move on. Nothing catastrophic could come of this.

So please don't sweat it. Just do what you are able to do, and as long as you are not hurting anyone, don't worry about the rest. It will all take care of itself, because life has a way of working itself out.

Answer 3

Don't let people use you. If you like charity work, choose something that you have control over and have a schedule to stick to. When someone asks, tell them you're already giving your time somewhere else. I think it makes them feel better that you're at least doing something and it makes it easier for you to say no. You have no obligation to anyone; do it on your own terms. That doesn't make you any less of a Christian.

Answer 4

Only volunteer for what you want. Don't volunteer for what you don't.
Now that you have commit ed, you have to carry it out.
As for your 8 year olds, what are they doing going to church?
They should be in a youth group.
You know a very little doctrine, some but not much.
No cramming it down the craw. You will get the opposite results that you are looking for.

Answer 5

Volunteering is a vary noble thing to do but one must remember that if you are going to volunteer it must be on you own terms not someone Else's, to remove your self gracefully from the commitment you need only say to them I am sorry the dates that where chosen would inter fear with my families schedule would you please reschedule them for me please "and then tell them what dates you are willing volunteer" thank you.If they react negatively to your request then you do not want to volunteer for the church nursery.

Answer 6

you are lucky....you only get asked to help 3 times a year?
I have nursery duty at church 4-6 times a month!!!!!!

Answer 7

You agreed to do it. You need to keep your word. If one of the dates conflicts, ask if you can do another date.

Remember the bible says, "let your yes be yes, and your no be no". Don't allow anyone to intimidate you into saying yes to something you really don't want to do.

But, if you do say yes, you need to fulfill that obligation.

Answer 8

Just get a backbone. and tell them you cant do it, that you already have other plans.

I'm christian to, but if I cant do something or I'm not available; I just say I cant do it, I cant go or whatever.

Answer 9

How surprising...a xtian trying to get out of doing their duty because it is inconvenient. Bad form my dear.

Answer 10

Tell them that your nerves can't handle it. You did not know it would be that way.