one of my close friends(who is only turning 17 in a few months) dated a guy for a few years in the beginning of highschool...they ended up breaking up a few months ago and she was devasted...only a few days later she started dating this older guy (only a year and 1/2 older) and he just graduated highschool. now he is going away to college and my friend is saying he is going to propose to her on "her 18th birthday..or maybe even sooner..." i'm worried for her because she is so young and she gets too attached...i don't even know the guy so i don't know if it's too early or not, they've only been dating for 4 months and they are planning on getting married...
[sorry if that was too long...]
2006-08-20 09:03:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's young and they probably won't make it to their wedding. It sounds like he is desperate to keep her in his life when he is at school. Be a supportive friend, but don't be surprised if they don't get married. Also, if they get engaged, strongly encourage her to hold off the wedding until after college. By then they will be mature enough to make that decision.
My bf's parents had a similar courtship. They started dating when his mom was 16 and his dad was 18 (they have 1 1/2 years between them). They dated for about a year and were engaged when she was 20. They married when they were 22/23 and ended up having very successful careers and a very happy marriage (for over 28 years now). So it can work out, just go slow.
2006-08-20 09:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she'll have plenty of time to think about it before her 18th birthday, if he is going to wait that long. You never know what could happen in that much time, so it may be too early to worry. It could also be that she's doing the right thing. People have engagements so they can get to know each other and plan the wedding. If they're not meant to be together, she'll probably figure it out then. Usually, though, when a friend is head-over-heels the last thing she wants to hear is a best friend telling her the relationship is doomed to failure. (That's what parents are for anyway!) Just be happy for her and supportive, because she's the only one who can decide what she needs! Also, call her and set up a time to spend time with the two of them if you can. You may realize the guy is great for her! This would make all three of you feel good.
2006-08-20 12:26:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny Alice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are worried for her and all but there is nothing that you can do. You can't stop a wedding or even advise someone to. The best thing you can do is hope that her parents do not let her do this! You could try and make some plans with her like going to commute to college together or something. Its hard at your age because most of the people that you hang out with now are not going to be the people you see in a year or so. I only talk to two people I know from highschool since I left. Even then, they are not people that I see very often or talk to very often. Just let her go and try to find someone else to hang out with, thats smarter than that.
2006-08-20 10:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is way to young to be getting engaged, And she needs more time to grow up. Being with someone for only 4 months isn't enough time to get to know them. This guy could be a wonderful person giving him the benefit of the doubt but even great guys can break your heart. Your friend could also be pushing him to do this for her own reasons such as insecurity or low self esteem ( which makes people clingy ). She should date him while he is going through college to see if the relationship will last and was meant to be. This way too it is being fair to him as well because if they run off and get married and have kids going to college has just become a lot harder. By letting him finish his degree he will be better able to provide for her and their future family. Try to explain this to her even though you may find yourself talking to a brick wall. Hopefully she listens to you and heeds your advise and if she doesn't and things go South don't be a I told you so friend. Instead offer your support some people need to be hit with a brick before they will learn we just have to be there to help pick up their teeth after wards. Good luck.
2006-08-20 09:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going to be in for a shock when she wakes up one day and realizes that she doesn't know her own husband.
College is going to be an eye-opener for her boyfriend. It's always said in college that if a freshman is dating someone from high school, they'll be broken up by Christmas.
Not only is she too young, but she's obviously not emotionally able to handle a relationship of this magnitude. Getting married is hard, and she's still 16. While it's fun to dream, it's too soon to make concrete plans.
What's wrong with waiting? She should go to college and experience life for herself as an independent woman before trying to get married.
2006-08-20 10:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they have only been together for 4 months, but love is love. If they are in love, then let them be. They will find out in the long run if they made a mistake or not. Dont be the one to break them up. Let them be happy and get married. If they say they love each other, they will make it work. Dont worry, just be happy for them. Good Luck!
2006-08-20 11:03:48 · answer #6 · answered by lilshorty347 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is too young and so is they guy she is marrying.
Its hard to keep a marriage these days even when both husband and wife are making good money, have a nice house 2 cars etc, etc. but putting college into the mix and financial restraints..it will make it even harder.
Tell your friend if she really loves this guy they can wait til he is out of college and has a job.
2006-08-20 09:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are definitely too young.
But, it's completely up to them. It's not something that you can stop. You can however reassure yourself with the fact that since they are so young, they will probably end up breaking the engagement way before they even start planning on the wedding.
Also, just because she says that he told her he would propose, doesn't mean he will. And if he does it properly and asks her parents permission first, chance are her parents will disagree and ask him to wait. That's what my mother did when I was 19 and my then bf wanted to propose.
2006-08-20 11:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is going off to college he should wait until he is out, or almost done, to get engaged.
IMO, anything under 21 is too young. You can't even drink (legally) at your own reception. Let alone the growning up you still have to do.
2006-08-20 11:59:52 · answer #9 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she is to young to get engaged.Because what if this guy doesn't work out.and she ends up hurt all over again.You need
to tell her not to except the marriage proposal when he asks her.
Because she is way to young for marriage.she needs to wait till
after she gets out of collage.and finds a nice young man to marry that has a good head on his shoulders.And that will treat her good.Best of luck
2006-08-20 09:13:57 · answer #10 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋