my 15year old goes out with his friends all dayhe does come home for dinner he is not on drugs friends seem ok

Question

his grades are bad our counsolars say this is ok to give him all this freedom i do not agree with this i told my son 5 hours of going out friends is enough he doesnot like that help what should be a crew few for a 15 year old

Answer 1

That's way too much time on his hands. First, homework needs to be completed and CHECKED, before he should be allowed to go hang out with friends.

This accomplishes two things, keeping him focused on the only real responsibility he has, doing well in school, and it allows you to monitor his progress.

Boys that age need supervision and rules, it lets them know they are loved and cared about.

Answer 2

my brother is fifteen and it's ok for him to be out until midnight, but my parents need to know where he is going to be earlier in the day, and maybe talk to a parent or if someone is driving, then the driver of the car. you can ground him for a few days if he "forgets to call" or "can't find a phone" more than a couple of times. you need to be able to trust you sons, and don't tolerate it when you think he's using your trust or lying to you.

don't be afraid to admit that you want time with your son. say that he needs to be home for dinner two (or three or five) nights a week, and making dinner also means that he either has to help cook or clean up. you guys are a family. and that's what being part of a family means. when he gets married or lives with his girlfriend/boyfriend he will also have responsibilities around the house.

also you'll feel more comfortable if you really know your sons friends.

1. invite his friends to your house for dinner and then let them go out for a few more hours before he's expected back home

2. listen to what movies he's excited about seeing and take him and one friend to the movies, then stop an Denny's or an ice cream place afterward and talk about what was good or bad about the movie, then you'll start to learn more about your son's friend's personality

look at it this way too, next summer he'll be sixteen and he'll have to work, so this is his last summer of not having a boss

the thing about the grades

he's still under eighteen so his freedom is a privilege that you and your son have negotiated, not a right. therefor these privileges can be taken away (re-negotiated). if he gets bad grades you can tell him he can only go out with his friends three nights a week for two weeks, or until his grades improve.

good luck!

Answer 3

It depends. Have you raised you kid to make wise decsions and good choices. Also what is your kids personality like. It sounds like he has the same type of disposition regarding parental authority that I did.

I didn't care what you told me to do, I was going to do it. It didn't matter how many extracurriculurs or how good or bad my school work was, I was going to do what I wanted. However my parents raised me so that I always made a good decision when it counted the most.

Yes I did do illegal drugs and broke the law often and got suspended regularly, but by the time I turned 18 and wanted to go to college I slowed down a lot and did what I needed to do to get what I wanted.

Your son sounds independent and confident. There are so many adults who would kill to have those qualities. Those qualities are what seperate employees from owners. Your son has a bright future. Rather than try to restict, guide.

Find out what he cares about and what he thinks he might want to do and feed into that. That doesn't mean family outings, it does mean offer resources you've found around his interests. Challenge him to start a business. Or to do something that most ordinary teenagers find impossible.

Answer 4

I would set a curfew that goes along with what he deserves.
My kids have a 9pm curfew during the school year. They are 13 and 14. But it also depends on if they are doing they're school work. If they slack off on homework, they lose hrs. off their curfew. School is important and they are not far away from being adults, it's time they started acting resposibly.
It's the same with their chores, they don't do them, they don't get an allowance.
They have to learn resposibility as a youth in order to be that way when they are adults.

Answer 5

I say dont let him do anything until he shows that his grades are better. He will appreciate it later. TRUST ME. Being 25 now I wish I would have worked harder in school. Once he does get his grades up, let him go out after homework & DINNER, but tell him to be home by 10 on weeknights & 12 on weekends, unless he is staying at a friends house, which he must let you know before he leaves that he will not be home.

Answer 6

Don't let him go out until his homework is done. Also, you should check curfew laws for your city/county/state - if there are any.

My friend was having this problem with her son, and she came up with rewards/punishments based on his grades. She asked all the teachers to send her weekly status reports every Friday, and then decided what he could do based on that. Improvement earned privileges, lack of improvement meant no new privileges, and slipping grades meant loss of privileges.

Also, realize that you have some major control coming up over your son - I am sure he will want to get his permit to drive soon - you could make that dependent on his grades. He will want to date (if he isn't already), and that can depend on his grades.

Answer 7

I say whenever the legal curfew is for kids of his age in your state.In my state it is 15 and 16 years olds like 10pm.As long as he comes home for dinner and is not on drugs then everything is pretty much ok.Just watch to make sure that he doesn't start doing drugs.

Answer 8

well to me and i'm just talking from experiance here (single dad 11 yr old son)YOU GOTTA GET INVOLVED WITH HIM!!!!! not be a mother hen but be a football mom, soccer mom.. we do everything together and all his friends love me cause we go to the movies, bowling, martial arts, and all school sports, but not as father son but as best friends

Answer 9

What is a crew few??