Why do people say gays choose to be gay?

Question

How can someone change the way they are? It's like I'd wake up one day and decide "I'm gonna be an african american from now on, even though i'm asian and from vietman." What??! It's IMPOSSIBLE to choose your gay. You cannot choose your sexual orientation. Gays know they are gay since the moment they get a point of view. If they could choose to be gay, do you actually think a 4 year old would choose to be gay? You can't choose what you are. So I wish people would stop saying gays chose to be what they are. If it's such a sin to be gay, then why would they choose to be gay? If someone is gay they're gay. Let them be, and let them get married. How is that when a father rapes her daughter people are like "Oh that's bad," but when a gay walks in a church, people don't want to accept them, and thinks it's such a sin to be gay. By the way, I'm not gay, I just think the ways gays are treated and judged upon are cruel.

Answer 1

...Honestly I think it's because of a need to disapprove. I really do think that some people require something to sneer at. Now one of the only acceptable prejudices left in America is homophobia (and no, it doesn't JUST mean "fear of gays") so people jump all over it. Some people live off of moral superiority.

And yes, you're right, homosexuality isn't a sin, it's not a choice, it's not a disease/ disorder/ dysfunction/ maladjustment/ illness/ etc. People OUGHT to accept the mountains of scientific study on the impossibility of changing sexualities, but like I said... people love to disapprove.

If they opened their eyes they wouldn't be able to continue their discrimination unless they flat-out ignored the reality to which they'd just become enlightened.

Answer 2

Well, I actually did a paper on the physiological basis of homosexuality. The vast majority of scientists and doctors agree that there is a biological link to sexual orientation, but sexuality being a complex human aspect, there is no one gene or brain section to say "This is the gay part."

As a gay man, I knew early on that I was gay, but also learned quickly from society that it wasn't accepted. If it were a choice, I would have chosen to be straight during my teen years when I really tried to be straight.

Now that I've dealt with it, I am happy to be the way I am...probably going through those stages just as any minority would.

The idea that homosexuals wouldn't have made it through evolution is pretty interesting as one responder suggested, because many scientist simply believe this is God's or science's way of controlling population. If every gay person were to reproduce, we would be seeing the over population effects that China is currently living. This is not only true in the human species, but all species. There are different percentages of homosexuality as well, I believe sheep being the highest. Would the same person say that all homosexual animals choose this as well?

The closest science has really gotten to proving the scientific link is with twins, of which nearly half of those with gay twins, are gay themselves. And a study done by Levay and another done by Roselli in which the pre-optic area of the hypothalmus was seen to be smaller in gay men; however larger than women.

Hope this helps.... there are a lot of citations (LeVay and Roselli included) sorry it is so long, but all is valid nonetheless.

Answer 3

You are absolutely not born gay lol. You people are saying you are so weak as people that you cant control your thoughts or desires that it was just nature and any opinion you have for your own self is discredited? Listen when your born are you naturally thinking to know that a bright sun shine day is nice? No you learn it and it grows the older you get. When your born do you automatically know that rain isnt harmful to the touch? No you learn it. Being gay is a persons choice to enjoy what he/she likes. The "would anyone want to be gay in a hateful world? is so lame and played out being gay is accepted for one and two yes people would because its what they love they love the same sex, the tale of romeo and juliet died for each other and were i love so yes LOVE will lead people to do things even if it means persecution. YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY YOU HAVE A BRAIN YOUR HUMAN YOU MADE THE CHOICE. Jesus christ people quit being idiots. To the person who is above me with his copy and pasted "science facts" your evidence proves you are actually wrong thinking yuor born gay 38% or whatever is this and 48% of twins are both gay blah blah blah. What your doing is without a shadow of a doubt saying that some people are in your opinion born gay, what about the other 52%? they just mindlessly became gay? Wrong, its a preference a SEXUAL preference, and whats a preference? Thats right kids its something youve CHOSE. Explain Bi sexual thenif its estrogen and testoterone based did they get both? dna allowed the impossible? no you idiots Is a CHOICE. People think they are born gay because the thought happens when the brain starts to become independent but doesnt develop until puberty. So they think "oh around 4 or 5 i knew i was gay or i liked the same sex" So you learned to make a CHOICE THEN is what your saying. What about the other 3-4 years before you were 4-5 why didnt you choose then? BECAUSE YOU COULDNT MAKE A PREFERENCE REGARDING SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE THE BRAIN DOESNT DEVELOP THOSE SORT OF SKILLS YET. Gay guys for example if its genetics why are the born with scrotums or penises? they are born to like other men who cant reproduce with them why have those sexual organs shouldnt the genetics facilitate the non reproducing sexual orientation? Basically prove to me that your born gay without any questions are happenings that ive mentioned that utterly destroy the "your born gay" nonsense. Oh you want me to prove to you that its a choice? I made my choice to be straight I saw females and i said yup i enjoy it and am attracted to some of them, in the logic "your born gay" people have i shuold be attracted to ALL women because im BORN STRAIGHT so the fact i find lets say oprah winfrey repulsive make me gay? Shes a women though! Oh well i made a CHIOCE to think that womans ugly and i have no interest in her. Im better than you~

Answer 4

You should ask yourself why a 4 yr old would even be aware of sex. Whether the child was born heterosexual or not, he or she should not know about sex at such a young age. So, in your example, if this 4 yr old somehow already has developed a sexual identity, it must be because there are other factors present which make this child aware of his or her sexuality. In other words this child has been exposed to at least sexual information if not sex itself. So you can not deny that his or her environment has played a major factor in shaping their views on sex. In order for anyone to believe that homosexuals were born that way, they must first overlook all of this. So they have already determined what they want to be the truth and then only look for opinions that confirm their beliefs. How else do they explain ex-gays. If these people were born gay and then left, that would prove your statement that people cannot choose their sexual identity to be false. If they were not born gay but were only living that way by choice then again that proves your point to be false because they obviously had previously chosen to be gay. Either way it adds up to people CHOOSING to live as homosexuals.
God still loves all

Answer 5

It is called political correctness. Even if someone is wrong, they will follow the leader over a cliff just so they don't look bad. If there was a crowd and you were standing by yourself and everyone is looking at you, would you join the crowd even if they were wrong or would you go on your own? Jesus says that others will hate you for doing the right thing. The reason they believe they are gay is because someone told them it was the right thing to be and they don't know what to believe. It has been proven that most gays come from broken families and they are looking for a good father or mother figure or someone to lead them. Yes the way gays are treated is cuel, but you can help them by teaching them about God using the Bible.

Answer 6

There is still a raging debate about whether or not homosexuality is biological or a matter of choice. Those who argue for environment ignore the most obvious fact, 99% of all homosexuals are raised in heterosexual homes. It is possible that there is some biological imperative, but the studies supporting those facts are controversial at best. It is true that there are factors at work, but no one knows for certain. Yes it is a double standard, for the simple fact, the girl who is raped by her father, who is not considered a pedophile by the way, may find that she is attracted to women because women lack the necessary biological appendage to remind her of that harm.

Answer 7

I think that some people make conscious or unconscious decisions about life based on their experiences. People who have suffered a lot of trauma as children make decisions about how they plan to spend their adult life in relationship -- although they may not know at the time -- based on their role models around them, their peers, and their experiences. Sometimes people feel too much pain to deal with their opposite match (at any age,) and they may start to display signs of interest in their same sex. This does manifest in young children. Many people who are bisexual, gay or have gender dysphoria have experienced some kind of deep seated childhood trauma, whether it be sexual, mental, or physical. I've seen this many times -- and the same debate of nature versus nurture continues...

Answer 8

Not all members of the GLBT community think or feel the same as each other. Not everyone felt "born" to be gay. Many did make the choice to experiment with that lifestyle. That's why many have left. There are many others who should admit to being gay, but consciously choose not to and will go on living heterosexual lifestyles just because they feel that's correct.

Your blanket statement is as absurd as saying all Christians are evangelical Protestants who were "born again in the Spirit with the gift of tongues". It's not true. Not all gays felt attracted to members of the same sex their whole lives. Many never had any feelings for a member of the same sex until one day meeting that one special person. I can think of a dozen such people off the top of my head. Many played in the lifestyle when they were young, but never felt it was really who they are. I can think of a dozen such people off the top of my head, including actress Anne Heche. Some people just aren't sure of their sexuality and are on a quest trying to figure it out.

The bottom line is that no one person can blanketly speak for everyone in a certain group. Each of us can only speak for ourselves on the issue of our own sexuality. Whether created that way or choosing to experiment with it, being gay and acting gay aren't synonamous. People will find their own way in this world. I speak BTW from my own experience and having played in the Lesbian/Bisexual lifestyle for a while. It was fun and I met some nice people. But it really wasn't me. If the opportunity arose again, I'm not sure whether I'd try it or not. I'll know if/when that day appears. But you clearly don't articulate my beliefs or my situation in your opening paragraphs, so it would be advisable for you to better understand how unique each of us is and what we need to accomplish in order to better understand both sides of this issue.

Answer 9

If you are Asian, you certainly cannot choose to be African American. If you are female, you CAN choose to become male: it will cost you a lot of money plus the sex organs of a male who doesn't want them anymore (for whatever reason), and hormone treatment.

Are you saying that you are the final authority on this subject and that the considered opinions of others are worthless because these opinions are contrary to yours?

Your question reminds me of the somewhat old discussion of nature vs. nurture. How much of a person's intelligence is due to his genetic makeup and how much to his environment? At one time, the research indicated that it was 80 % due to heredity and 20 % environment. Later that was changed to 50 % each. Could it be that some persons are born with a hormonal imbalance that predisposes them towards homosexuality while others deliberately choose the lifestyle? And even if someone is born with a hormonal imbalance, can this not be corrected? But let us assume that it cannot be corrected, does this person have to actually live that lifestyle? No, he can choose to fight it. Or he can choose to give-in to the inclinations. In the final analysis, IT IS A CHOICE!!!

I'm a heterosexual married man. I have never been unfaithful to my wife but there are times when other attractive females are available and willing. And the way I was born says, "Have a go!!!"
I WAS BORN THAT WAY! Yet I restrain myself. MY CHOICE!! Have a nice day.

Answer 10

Okay...I agree with you that Gays do NOT choose to be gay, however, God does say in the Bible that it is a sin for men to lay with other men. So...that doesn't mean that being gay is the sin, it's just following through with it is the sin. You just have to resist the urges. That is the sinful part.
I watched a documentary on PBS back in late 2002 or early 2003 and they had found a defect in the brains of rats who were acting gay. They had subjected female rats to too much testosterone while in utero, and too much progesterone to male rats and the result was the rats were confused as to which sex they were. Rats would have no reason to "be gay" would they? So, the scientists looked for defects in their brains and did find a difference. Then they also looked for similar differences in known gay cadavers. They found the exact same difference.
So...to me that says that Gays are born that way, and it is due to a mess up while still in utero. If a female is subjected to too much testosterone while in utero then it could mess up her brain where her brain would think she was male. The exact opposite for males, and then for bisexuals, they get the mess up but just not quite as much, so they get a little of both.
I would do some research on this if you wanted to, to find out more. In fact, I think I might because this is a "fight" my fiance' and I have. He believes it's a choice. I obviously DO NOT!!