My father in law has cancer and, is really ill and just admitted back into hospital, due to complications.
I really feel for my mother in law, as this is such a hard time for her, i really wish i could do something for her, but she never needs any help and even though i offer there is never anything i can do.
Whenever i think of all the pain, she and her husband are going through right now, i feel really sad, and totally helpless. i just wish i could do more.
2006-08-20 05:45:43 · 24 answers · asked by BRICK 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
just be there
2006-08-20 05:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by Bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go over to her house and tell her you are going to keep her company and help do some household chores. (scrub the bathroom, mop a floor, fold laundry) Don't let her say no, because you really want to do it and because you made the effort to come over she can't refuse. It will keep her company she can talk if she wants to and it can even free up her time to spend more time at the hospital with your father in law. Let her know you plan to come over on a regular basis and then do it. Also, call when you are going to the groceries and ask if you can pick up anything for her.
From my own experience people who are struggling through issues with sick family members know that friends and family always say just ask but it's hard to ask, so we just have to volunteer.
2006-08-20 11:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. While he is in hospital ask her if she'd like to come to yours for meals if she is the sort that likes company and will be lonely. It's a very hard and difficult time, it may seem that you can't really do anything to help but just knowing that you are there for her to talk to and happy to do anything you can to take a bit of the pressure will help her even if she doesn't ask you to do anything specific like shopping or whatever. It's not easy to know what to do to help I know, but you are obviously genuinely concerned and she will be able to tell - some folk don't really mean it and can be down right hurtful by the thoughtless things they say - but she will be thankful for how supportive and kind you clearly are.
2006-08-20 05:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by M J H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be there for her. i know how you feel,my father in law just passed away from cancer,but my mother in law was surprisingly strong!! we are all very proud of her. all you can really do is be there for a shoulder to cry on or to listen to her. why not take her out for a nice bar lunch to give her even a few hours away from the hospital and you and your partner go to hospital at visiting hours and give her a wee break from it all (if she needs a break). sadly,the worst may still to come and i know it is really hard but even if it is just a front,try and be strong for the rest of the family.you will all need each other. i am thinking of you and wish you all the best.take care.xx
2006-08-20 05:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by nicola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could go to the hospital and sit with her or get her a cup of coffee. You could go to her home and do laundry or cook something for her while she is at the hospital.
You could sit with your father-in-law so she can have a break.
She may be depressed so refuses help because it is too much work to tell you what she needs done. Take the initiative and just do something you know she needs done.
2006-08-20 07:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by nursienurse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being there for her just might be what she needs right now. Doing simple things like cooking for her, relaying her from the hospital for a couple of hrs so she can shower and things like that. Visit your father in law, bring him cards and flowers..anything to make them feel comfortable and loved will be appreciated. Be strong, as your mother-in-law needs support and might show weekness at some point, as we all would in a situation like this.
2006-08-20 09:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by cookiesnhugs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring food to her home or her hospital chair. Encourage her to eat. Ask to run errands, wash clothes, clean her house... Take her magazines to read while waiting in the hospital and doctors' offices--or at home. Send cards that are funny or thoughtful. Offer to sit with the father in law while she gets out even to go to the store.
2006-08-20 16:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by catzrme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband recently passed and the biggest help was when my friends and family would come over start cleaning and doing laundry and bringing food or fixing a meal. It helped me tremendously and let me spend more time with him. I also took alot of pictures of him with different friends and family I look at them constantly. God Bless you and your family PS When they would ask if I needed something I would also tell them no. But when they showed up out of the blue to help it was a wonderful gesture.
2006-08-24 08:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by crumcake422 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that you are there and willing to help will be enough for her at the moment - sometimes when you are under great stress keeping strong by yourself is the easiest as if you admit you need help you can break down completely.
2006-08-20 05:53:14 · answer #9 · answered by blondie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel helpless just being there will mean the world to her. my dad just died in hospital and while he was in there my gf felt helpless, there was nothing she could do but the fact she was there and offered her help was a great strenght to me, just her listening was wot i needed. just make sure ur always there if needed and she will know she can turn to u
2006-08-20 10:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Barson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just being there for her is probably a comfort. Let her take the lead, as long as she knows that you want to support her, she will ask for help when she needs it.
2006-08-20 05:53:28 · answer #11 · answered by peewit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋