My fiance's parents got upset because we were laying on the couch hugging each other. Is it wrong or a sin?

Question

My fiance is 37 & lives with his parents. He travels alot at his job so he has to live with them. I am 34 years old. We are both catholics.I go to his house alot. I've hugged him b 4 or even snuggled up with him. Last year I did not want to hold hands or kiss him because my culture did not allow that before marriage. I am East Indian & my fiance is white. But I am deeply in love with him & I want to show some kind of affection towards him. So we do kiss, hug & have even fooled around b 4. But did not have sex. I went to confession with him & decided not to fool around anymore. But I do like to hug, hold hands & kiss him. His parents do not like the idea of us kissing & hugging.They said we should live a chaste life before marriage. I went on a trip with him out of state to visit his brothers.They didn't like it eather. Their other children all lived together b 4 marriage & they even helped one of them move in together b 4 marriage. I fear I will loose him 4 ever. Now I am very sad.

Answer 1

nope, not wrong or sinfull.

Answer 2

Normal hugging, kissing and holding hands are all fine before marriage. Anything beyond that, including "french" kissing, grinding, petting, etc., is sexual behavior and should be saved for marriage. Talk to your Priest/ Pastor about that.

If your future parents-in-law's other children all lived together before marriage, you would think they would be happy that you two ARE living a chaste life. Maybe they are afraid you two will be like their other kids, so they're trying (too hard) to make sure you don't make the same mistake their other kids did. Try talking with them.

If you are really in love with this man and he loves you, get married and get out of his parents house! You're both in your 30's. Get out on your own, get married first, but start your life together away from his parents. If you're living right, you have no reason to care about what they think. However, as long as you're in their house, you must to respect their rules and wishes, even after you get married.

You are East Indian and your Fiance's family is White? It is a horrible thought, but for some reason, it seems like chastity may not be the issue here. Especially given the premarital situations of their other children. I hope and pray that is not the case.

Answer 3

If you guys are fooling around together, I don't think you are going to lose him. You both are old enough to make your own decisions and there's really nothing his parents or anyone can do. But if you've gone to 'confess' your sins, then you obviously feel like you've done something wrong. I'm not an extremely religious person, but I do know that you can't confess to God and ask for forgiveness and then blatantly sin the same way again. THATS wrong. I don't think hugging and kissing before marriage is wrong and if your religion says it wrong then you have to make a choice to either follow your religion or not follow your religion. There is no in between. You can't do both. Decide on what YOU believe is right and wrong and then go from there. It is doubtful you will lose your fiance though, so don't worry so much.

Answer 4

something sounds weird and wonderful to me that you're 34 and he's 37? and that they had an issue with you hugging on the settee? something would not sound precise to me there, both you're literally not giving the comprehensive tale right here or his mum and dad are literally not being straightforward right here. the different 3 youngsters might want to even stay at the same time previously marriage? I say, get married now! Or get out and get an element of your own, it is your existence. definite I comprehend there is cultural beliefs and also you seem to carry to them strongly yet something is inaccurate with this photo right here? i'd not were able to handle that in my early 30's, diverse tale once you're speaking about children,lol!!! sturdy success and would issues workout habitual! search for suggestion from along with your fiancee about the way you sense, open communication and a relationship with him, regardless of his mum and dad, is had to a cheerful marriage!!!:)

Answer 5

It's not wrong if you're holding hands, hugging and kissing and the like. I'm not Catholic but I think the idea of "chaste" would be not having sex before marriage. It would seem your fiance's family incorporates signs of affection into that defintion as well. Everything should be fine as long he's okay with it.

Answer 6

If you plan on marrying him (and even if you don't), there is absolutely nothing wrong with hugging.
His parents are being very hypocritical indeed, and both you and him are old enough to be making your own decisions. It is, however, natural that they feel protective of their son. Maybe you two could sit them down and explain that you have no intention of having intercourse before you are married.
Their son does live under their roof, however, so maybe you should have your meetings outside the house and remember to curb the displays of affection in front of his parents.

Answer 7

"Sin" is not in your deeds, it's in your heart. This is a concept which is difficult for people to understand, particularly Catholics. Jesus said that "Whoever looks at a woman with lust in his heart has already committed adultery with her." So you don't actually have to have sex to be a sinner. If, while you're holding hands and kissing, your heart is clear of impure thoughts, then you're okay. If not, then yes, it is a sin.

But remember, we are all sinners. As a Christian, your sins are forgiven. You should make an effort not to engage in sinful behaviour, but know that if you screw up, those sins are also forgiven.

As for whether it's "wrong", no matter how old you are, as long as you're in their house, you have to respect their rules.

Answer 8

First words I noticed "My fiance is 37 & lives with his parents" now what kinda person at 37 still lives with his parents? You dont deserve the right to do anything at his parents house. Let him get his own place and stop whining like a child.

Answer 9

You have committed sexual acts with him and you seem to realize now that was wrong and sin.

But the whole couch thing happened to me also when I was younger! The conclusion I came to is that we should all keep our public displays of affection (PDA's) to a minimum even if we are married otherwise you risk offending people and are not approchable. And if youre unmarried so much more so! Because doing the little things leads to the bigger things, it's just Satan using time and pressure to get what he wants(you to sin).

If he is a good man committed to God and you are equally good and committed then you shouldnt have a fear of losing him. Please update your Q on why you believe you fear losing him.....

Answer 10

That's sad.

This is one area where religion hurts so much more than it helps.

Now, not having sex before marriage, could have negative concequences, because having a child will require that you care for it, and thereby thrust that change into your lives. If you are not ready to be together, sex, and a child, can be a negative thing for your relationship.

However, sad sad parents who thrust their religious views down thier childrens throats without logical discussion of the tangible concequences insults your intelligence and cheapens the argument.

"don't have sex before marriage or baby Jesus will cry" is not a rational argument for adults to have.

"Beware the concequences and impact of an unplanned pregnancy, given you are 35 and living with your parents, and thus likely unable to supprt a child the way you might want to" Is a far better argument, and one that you can debate on it's merits.

Best of luck to ya.

Oh ya, flush all the holy books @ http://flushaholybook.com

Answer 11

This sounds like a lot of bull...if his parents are so religious then they will not help one of their family MOVE IN with another of different sex and get mad at hugging and kissing ... now tell us the whole story because at 37 and 34 i don't think you or him are going to let parents tell what to do ....i think you are a teenager and lied about the ages... if so you need to listen to your parents you will see why latter on in life ...