My fiance is 37 & lives with his parents. He travels alot at his job so he has to live with them. I am 34 years old. We are both catholics.I go to his house alot. I've hugged him b 4 or even snuggled up with him. Last year I did not want to hold hands or kiss him because my culture did not allow that before marriage. I am East Indian & my fiance is white. But I am deeply in love with him & I want to show some kind of affection towards him. So we do kiss, hug & have even fooled around b 4. But did not have sex. I went to confession with him & decided not to fool around anymore. But I do like to hug, hold hands & kiss him. His parents do not like the idea of us kissing & hugging.They said we should live a chaste life before marriage. I went on a trip with him out of state to visit his brothers.They didn't like it eather. Their other children all lived together b 4 marriage & they even helped one of them move in together b 4 marriage. I fear I will loose him 4 ever. Now I am very sad.
2006-08-20 05:24:47 · 30 answers · asked by cluelesschickus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have every right to be affectionate with your fiance. However, since his parents objected to this, and the two of you were in their house, you should respect them and NOT be affectionate when you're in their house. Other than that, I can think of no reason not to continue just as you are if it's OK with both of you!
2006-08-20 05:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by clarity 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something sounds weird to me that you are 34 and he is 37? And they had a problem with you hugging on the couch? Something doesn't sound right to me there, either you aren't giving the full story here or his parents are not being fair here. The other 3 kids could even live together before marriage? I say, get married now! Or get out and get a place of your own, it is your life. Yes I understand there is cultural beliefs and you seem to hold to them strongly but something is wrong with this picture here? I wouldn't have been able to deal with that in my early 30's, different story when you are talking about teens,lol!!! Good luck and may things work out! Talk to your fiancee about how you feel, open communication and a relationship with him, regardless of his parents, is essential to a happy marriage!!!:)
2006-08-20 05:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my personal opinion. Holding hands, Hugging and Kissing are not sins, and it's NOT a sin to do it before marriage. Sex is what is sin outside of marriage. I don't know what you imply by fooling around but if it has anything to do with touching private parts, then in my opinion that is wrong before marriage.
You two have to develop together and holding hands, hugging and kissing brings a feeling of closeness, comfort, and all those puppy love type feelings. Um...37 and living at home...I personally see alot wrong with that...but ...because it's his parents house, I would try to be respectful to their wishes...don't do the cushy stuff infront of them.
By far, get creative, take a blanket, lay out in the front yard with your sweetie cuddled up watching the stars! I think it's very sweet that you went on a trip with him to visit his brothers.
Every family member will not like everything that you and your bf do. So this is what I suggest, be respectful by not doing things infront of them that are cushy if it bothers his family and 2. take advantage of every opportunity you have to spend "cushy" time with your fiance. You know what is considered to be wrong by your belief, and your fiance knows what is considered to be wrong by his belief, so don't do it if it's wrong to the two of you.
You two are going to be married soon-that's such a special life event. Don't be afraid to be close to him. You two are at a very delicate place right now where families tend to "geek" (in the worlds of my 18yr old).
You're engaged! Normally you don't lose your beloved during this time:) Talk to him, tell him how you feel, I'm sure he can put some of your anxiety and fear to rest. Communication is so very important.
Blessings To You & Yours
2006-08-20 05:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by Pastors Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is old enought and you are two to do what you feel is right. But I think you need to change some. Hold his hands show him some effection, or you might lose him. You should respect his parents and show less effection in side there home. He seems to love you but don't cause trouble with his family then it will hurt you. .Just be together as much as you can alone. They were young once and probly did some things against there parents approvable , but you two are not children. The sooner you get married it will be for the best. Good luck Pem
2006-08-20 05:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sad story. He's 37 and he still lives with mommy and daddy. Theres alot of people that travel for work and live alone. And snuggling together is not a sin. Come on!! If his parents dont like it, thats tough. And if you feel like you are so much in love, go ahead and show it. Thats what humans do. I cant believe that there are religions that dont allow affection. Thats crazy!!
2006-08-20 05:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by crystal lee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wide-spread hugging, kissing and retaining fingers are all wonderful earlier marriage. something previous that, mutually with "french" kissing, grinding, petting, etc., is sexual habit and should be kept for marriage. talk which includes your Priest/ Pastor about that. in case your destiny father and mom-in-regulation's different babies all lived mutually earlier marriage, you may want to imagine they could be happy that you 2 live a chaste existence. per chance they are afraid you 2 will be like their different youngsters, so they are trying (too not user-friendly) to verify you do not make an analogous mistake their different youngsters did. attempt speaking with them. if you're particularly in love with this guy and he loves you, get married and get out of his father and mom abode! you're both on your 30's. Get out on your own, get married first, yet commence your existence mutually remote from his father and mom. once you reside good, you do not have any reason to care about what they imagine. even if, as long as you're of their abode, you should to recognize their regulations and needs, even if you get married. you're East Indian and your Fiance's relations is White? it truly is a terrible theory, yet for some reason, it type of feels like chastity might want to not be the placement right here. extraordinarily given the premarital situations of their different babies. i'm hoping and pray it truly is not the case.
2016-11-05 05:45:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that depends. Were you both naked when you were lying on the couch? His parents have a hang-up. And at 37 your boyfriend is old enough to live on his own. As long as he is in his parents house, THEY make the rules. ANd THEY are going to influence him!!!!!!!!!!! If they don't like you they could very well brainwash him into finding fault with you. And dumping you. He sounds like a mama's boy to me. Stand back and take a good look at this guy. SO what if he travels a lot? He should still get his own place. That is an excuse. If he marries you he's going to have to get another place..............or IS he?????? As far as NOT fooling aaround before marriage..................I would not buy a pair of shoes before I tried them on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-20 05:34:22 · answer #7 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one, you are both adults and not teenagers so stop acting like it.
You must respect others homes so if you both know how his parents felt, the snuggling would have been out of line. For heavens sake, grow up. I would hesitate to date a man that is 37 and still lives with his family (no matter what his excuses are).
He needs to have his own place. Period. If he refuses, I say RUN. As fast as you can.
He is a mama's boy and you will never change that.
2006-08-20 05:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by bonjovigroupie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a sin. If hugging was bad, then we would never hug our children. It is wring for his parents to think of hugging in a sexual way. Don't worry about what his parents think, it is the 2 of you that need to be happy. I say get married soon, that way no one will have any opinion about you hugging or kissing. Good Luck, sounds like you will have a time with his family.
2006-08-20 05:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by {Lisa} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong in hugging or kissing your beloved before marriage. IT IS NOT A SIN EITHER. Sex in the sense of sexual intercourse is surely a sin before marriage.
People, normal individuals, need to feel the attraction and sense of belonging and love. It is in the nature of the person to show these gestures by hugging and/or kissing. So why leave it out.
What I do suggest is this: if the parents feel it is somewhat embarrassing for them to be around, respect their ideas considering it is their place you are in. Otherwise, feel free to show your gestures. They are beautiful and encourage the depth in love.
2006-08-20 05:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by Janine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the culture you're living in, with the families.
No, it's not a "sin". Sounds like you're doing pretty well, by not having sex before marriage!
I commned you!
I would just say that when you're around the families, respect their beliefs and wishes. Once you are married, it'll all be behind you! I'm sure your fiance will agree with me!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2006-08-20 05:31:22 · answer #11 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋