Question for teens...will you answer?

Question

Ok. Here's my question. ...
I offered my two sons a Halloween Party. I said we would invite some of my friends and they could invite their cousins and 3 friends each. My sons are 9 and 14. The 9 yr old was thrilled, of course. The 14 threw a fit and said no because his bedtime would be around 2 or 3 in the AM.
Now, I think that is reasonable for 14 yr olds. He**, 2 or 3 AM is pretty darn late. Why is he throwing a fit? He said kids his age have to stay up to 5 or 6 am.... Now there is something wrong with that!! What do you think? Do you think it is reasonable for me to say they'll all have to go to bed around 2 or 3 AM? (along with me of course...)

Thank you for all your answers...I just thought I'd get other people's oppinions. I am a very consistant parent with my sons and usually they go to bed between 9:30-10:30pm. Sometimes when none of us have to get up early I'll let em stay up late till midnight or something but I'd say I'm pretty generous when I can be - when it wont be harmful to them the next day. I only let them stay up when they will have a chance to sleep in the next day. And, a party is different, I'll allow a later time for parties like the 2am or 3 am...
And....just so the one person knows....there is NOTHING irresponsible about my parenting!!

Answer 1

You're being nice and throwing the party so that he can have fun. He either has the choice to follow your guidelines (which happen to be very generous, by the way) or stay in his room and not attend.

He is a kid and he is going through that stage where it's important to fit in. I remember that so much (I think I'm still that way) but as long as you stick to your guidelines and not cave, he'll know what to expect in the future. What's going to happen when he wants to go to a friend's party, you know, the one that ends at 5am? He'll figure out how to fit in and follow your rules at the same time.

I think you're being very reasonable.

Answer 2

I'm 15 years old and I've been to hundreds of parties. I live in on the border so I've gone to parties in the US and in Mexico. Yet the latest parties I've been to have been to last till 3 AM. Lots of people are already drunk and have asleep by 1 AM. Now by 5 or 6 AM most of the bars in Mexico are not even open. He is wrong by throwing a fit.

Answer 3

Well, I'm 17 now and really haven't had a bed-time sense I was 8. But if your son is immature enough to throw a temper tantrum then you should make him go to bed around 2 or 3. Tell him when he starts acting more like an adult he'll get treated more like one. And besides, its not like 2 or 3 in the morning is early.....so its not unreasonable at all.

Answer 4

well i go to bed when ever im tired during the summer which is mostly around 4 or 6 but if you say 3 and they all go get ready and lay down where ever they are going to go to sleep and just talk instead of stil party i think it's alright u could tell him they could do that and maybe he would be alright. but 2 3 is good for a party to be over. i don't know to many parties that last up until 6am

Answer 5

I'm not a parent, but when I was a kid I never saw much past midnight without getting in trouble. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school that I was wanting to stay up past midnight and even stay out that late.

As a 21 year old female who remembers her younger years and her immature attitude, you can't really rationalize with children sometimes. We're gonna think we're right... basically no matter what sometimes. Childish and dumb? Yes, but kids are kids.

Make him go to bed at 2 or 3 am.

Answer 6

When I was that age I would have stayed up all night (at least until 5) with my friends. What my parents did what have us sleep in the living room which funnels noise right up to my parent's room. They slept with the door open and told us we could stay up as late as we wanted, but not to wake them up. We were quiet (most of the time) and had fun, and they were happy because they got a decent night sleep. If we did ANYTHING wrong, they could've heard it, so we ended up playing cards and gossiping.

My parents also threw in another incentive to get us to be in bed early. They had to be up at 7 am and we were in between them and coffee. They would be just as quiet as we were the night before. Then everyone left at 10, so we were good.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Your son is 14 and not 9. What's wrong with giving the older boys a later time but make it an hour later. Tell your 9yr old its 2am and your 14yr old its 3am.

Tell your 14yr old its his choice. 3am, or he doesn't participate in the party, he can't invite anyone and his regular bedtime will apply.

I think you are being very reasonable, but you have to be the parent here, set the limits and stick to them. Your 14yr old is old enough to make his choices. He doesn't have to participate, he can do his homework and go to bed.

Answer 8

tell him to start standing on his own two feet and stop following the crowd, you should have the party, if he doesnt want to invite his friends, fair enough thats his choice, and his happiness hes sacrificing cause he cant get his own way, just tell him your word is final and its now his choice whether he wants to join in with the party or not.. i can probably gurantee he wouldnt do an alnighter till 6am in the morning anyways.. i wreckon hed crash by the time it was 3:30am... im 18 and i find it difficult to stay up till 4am.. i believe your deal of 2-3am is a great deal weldone for being a relaxed parent lol :D

Answer 9

hmm... i think that is reasonable and i'm 13, hes probably just blufing-so tell him that if they REALLY want to party more let them till 4 or 5(but make the 9 year old go to sleep at 2 or 3-but they'll probably fall asleep sooner) and the 14 year olds will probably fall asleep sooner too.

Answer 10

i think 2 or 3 am is extremely late for a 14 yr old to be up but here's the thing kids have a dream reality that their parents were cool and would let them do what they want and your child probably wants his friends to think that about him (that he had a super cool mom) that's what all the fuss is about...