My boyfriend of six years got drunk and too flirty with my friends at party - advice on how to deal with him?

Question

My boyfriend of six years and I went to a party last night. I got really drunk really fast (my friend poured a little too much in my cup - and I never drink!) My friends were acting wild and crazy and I joined in a little. My boyfriend eventually got pretty drunk as well. He started getting pretty flirty with my friends - grabbing asses, dancing, etc. He even kind of kissed one of them. I have never seen him behave like this to this extent. We have an understanding in our relationship that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. Now that I am sobered up, I am really embarrassed. We left abruptly, fighting, and I did not say goodbye to anyone. He was angry at me because he was trying to make the moves on me & I wasn't having it. He thought that I wasn't into it because I was sobering up, but it was really because of his behavior. I told him so. I think that he realized that he was acting inappropriately, and that is why he got so upset. How should I deal with him & my friends?

The problem that I have with it all is if he wants to get flirty with someone, he should get flirty with me! I was receptive to him until he started replacing my affection with my friends' affections. I feel that a line was crossed. And let me be honest, I am one who is concerned with keeping up appearances - and my boyfriend showed his *** last night & I'm embarrassed! Yes, I was drunk too, but I was just being silly-drunk - I did not go anywhere near another guy or do anything to embarrass HIM. Another problem lies within my friends - it's known that they are all pretty jealous of me (and my relationship,) and they can become malicious in a way. Like flirting with my boyfriend on purpose to try and make me jealous of them (I, on the other hand, will rarely even talk to my friends' boyfriends unless my friend is there talking too)....yeah...I know what y'all are going to tell me - get new friends!

Answer 1

Well it is the drink not your boyfriend. Drink stops us from thinking logically. You need to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him you were upset and you understand why he was upset. If he understands and promises to take it easy next time then I think your relationship is back on track. Don't worry about your friend just ring them and tell them your sorry for leaving the party without saying your goodbyes. They will understand you were fighting with your boyfriend. Anyway most of them might be too drunk to remember. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Apologize to both your b/f and your friends. You woke up with drinkers remorse and drinkers blame. "Oh I'm really sorry that I acted like an ***, and but its not my fault!"

Before you continue being mad at your b/f for doing something you were doing too, acting inappropriately because you were too drunk, get your own behavior settled.

You've been with this guy for 6 years. I think you both deserve the benefit of the doubt. How bout simply saying "I was a complete moron last night, I'm really sorry if I did anything to embarrass you." It gives him the chance to apologize without shouldering all the blame which has made him defensive.

You weren't into being intimate because you were drunk, not because you were "sobering" up.

Next time, plan ahead. Be each others partner and help each other to limit alcohol, cause its not good for your relationship. Have a big meal before you go any place you are drinking at, and alternate the booze with water.

Answer 3

Look the simple thing to say is to get a new boyfriend. But I don't think that's the answer unless, you are unsatisfied in the relationship in other ways.
Obviously you've been together for 6 years for a reason. I definitely wouldn't take relationship advice from your girlfriends if they are jealous of you.
The thing to do is to make him promise to cut down on the amount he drinks if he can't control himself, ( EVEN WITH YOU THERE). He needs to apologize to you and to your friends. Letting everyone know that his actions were inappropriate, and disrespectful to you. If he really cares about you and understands how hurtful to you, what he did was then he'll do it. It might be a little embarrassing but it'll go a long way to making things better.

Answer 4

Look,alcohol can make you do a lot of stupid things..things you wouldnt normally do, or even remember the next day.This could be the case with your boyfriend but it could not.Has he ever done anything like this before?If yes,then he should consider not drinking so much from now on..if not then everybody deserves a second chance.Sit down and talk with him..talking is always the best way of dealing with such situations.See how mature he is about discussing it and then make your conclusions...take it easy with the drinking!

Answer 5

I can imagine how you feel, embarrassed!!! But I think that if u really love this guy you need to talk to him about it without yelling at him. Because once u start yelling he is not going to listen. And I know that it is hard but tell him how he behaved. Also If he is like any typical guy, he is going to deny everything or he is going to say that he doesnt remember doing any of that.

Anyway instead of getting mad at him you should tell him that you are very dissapointed in him. Believe me that is worst. Dissapointment is far worse than anger. It will leave him thinking, which is what you want. You dont want him to think "OMG she is going to start her bi.ching again. You know what I mean.

Think about it and I hope that all goes well. Good luck

Answer 6

You are overreacting! First before you talk to him, talk to your friends. Ask for their take on it. He was probably just loosening up to the party. Like you said he almost kissed one of them, I don't think so, I wasn't there but he was partying.

Still be mad at him, tell him that you overeacted a little but you just wished that the attention he was giving to your friends was with you and there you have it.

Mixed signals and it sounds like you overeacted a little. Probably because you really love him and are protective of him because of the long term but trust me, he didn't mean to hurt you or make you angry that is why he came to you and you said you were gonna have any...

Tell him not to grab *** and dance with your friends so much and dance with you instead Good Luck and don't be the jealous type.

Answer 7

u know what they say, paybacks r hell. give him a dose of his own medicine, 2 can play that game, u mite let ur friends in on it, so when u start flirting with the friends boyfriends they will b aware of it, & the guys will know 2. let him c how it feels 2 b on the other side of the fence. maybe u r coming up on that 7 yr itch theory, better 2 find out now than l8r...

Answer 8

I would be angry too, you've both been together long enough to know that it would hurt you,but I would talk it over with him, as far as your so called friends if they was your friends they wouldn't of done that.
I would never do that to one of my friends.
I'm afraid when a man is having girls flirt with them its too much for them not to do it back drunk or not, I've seen it happen all to often

Answer 9

YIKES! If this is a serious relationship...Id cut off the alcohol! If he was "that into you" then he wouldnt be all over someone else..drunk or not! Alot of times your true feelings come out when you are drunk..my own opinion...

Answer 10

Let this very sad and humiliating experience be a good lesson to you both. If you cannot handle alcohol then don't touch it and maintain your sober selves. No drinkies from now on !!!