My mother is so posisive she hates me to be happy?

Question

when things are going well shes nansty to me saying what about my life its all right for you

Answer 1

I'd say your mother is feeling left out and lonely. One thing you could do is set aside a special time for her in a neutral place, for example have a weekly meal in a restaurant together, just to have the opportunity to catch up on what's happening in your lives. She'll like it that you're setting aside the special time for her.

Also, encourage her to do something with her time, emphasising that you'd like for her to be enjoying herself. Group activities are nice, excursions, or whatever, there are plenty of courses and that around, and she might make new friends also. Indeed, she might even discover latent talents, you never know. But the important thing is that she has something to do that she enjoys, so that she has a kind of focus to her day. After all, she's now a Chickless Hen!

Answer 2

WOW, do I ever know what you mean!! I can't say mine was nasty about the decisions I tried to make to better myself but she just always seemed to think I was trying to "one-up" her or live with a happier outlook than she, which I sensed made her feel "lower" or more helpless. She couldn't stand it that her kids had REAL dreams and ambitions to be on top of the world one day. Well, I believe she STILL feels this way, since she's lived with a horrible man--toward whom I won't even lower myself by calling "stepfather"--for 18 years but still APPEARS to be happy. Any fool can look under the surface and see she actually ISN'T happy. The strange thing is, it's when she's in a situation where she IS powerless that seems to lend her the MOST happiness. So I can REAALLLY relate to your predicament!!!

Answer 3

I have learned that hard way - you only have one life so get out there and make the most of it. It can very easily pass you by and then all you end up with are regrets or I wish I had done this, that or the next thing.

Maybe you should tell your mother to be happy for you being happy, telling her your new philosophy for life and suggest that she adopts this attitude too.

If she refuses, do you need all that negativity in your life, no? Then say goodbye!

Good luck!

Answer 4

You leave a number of questions unanswered, how old are you? is your mum alone? is she dependent on you? all these and more need to be asked before a true answer can be given. perhaps your mum is a little jealous of your youth and happiness. perhaps she misses the going out and doing things that upset her mum.
we were all young once and hated the way our mother's tried to rule our lives. but then in a few years time you will be doing the same to your daughters. mothers tend to be a little over protective, give her a chance and perhaps involve her in your enjoyment.
"Daddy Dave"

Answer 5

Would it be possible to limit your time with your mother? Try pointing out some positive things in your mothers life. She might just be an angry person who needs to become happy with herself. Unhappy people want everyone else to be unhappy to so they don't feel so alone. Just try to take what she says with a grain of salt and keep a positive attitude for yourself. You see what the negativity is doing to your mother and that is no way to be. Negativity makes people sick. Good luck and God Bless you.

Answer 6

You get the occasional mother who is jealous of her child; my mother was like that; when I came top of the class in only 7 subjects, she wanted to know why I hadnt done better, when my boyfriend wanted to marry me, she said" What do you want to marry that for; you must be mad" (later she slept with him). She always told be it was my fault she and my dad had to get married (I asked her why didnt she just keep her legs shut and she punched me in the face.) You cant do much about people like this; they have a nasty streak, and a conviction that you owe them something; you dont, nor do you have to accept her nastiness. When she is unpleasant, you just say how you feel about her putting you down- you have that right. If she messes up her life somehow, its not your fault, so dont let her put that on you!!

Answer 7

You want to know how to cope with this is my guess, you have to empathise, plainly your mum wants to feel needed..and is a bit jealous when you seem not to need her, and maybe a bit insecure too, in this situation we all try to be controlling...a good attempt at reassurance may help, but at the end of the day you must not hold back your life.....ask her why she had children..what she hoped for them...always remember when you were too small to to fend for yourself,your mum was there to do everything for you, she deserves your repect.

Answer 8

Been there done that ! My mother was the bride of lucifer & no one ever saw that but me & my sister....People said to wait until I turned 18 & all the sh** would stop but It did not stop until I moved out so start looking into ur own place u'll be surprised how her attitude towards u will make an about turn, She'll beg u to stay & u'll suddenly become her farvorite child.

Answer 9

My Mum was the same.
Is she on her own?
If she is unhappy, then she's deflecting her anger onto you.
If I enjoyed myself, she would bring me down & attack me in some way, making me feel terrible.
I reckon she might have some form of depression or mental illness that hasn't been diagnosed, so please don't be hard on her - she may be feeling unloved & really unhappy inside.
Try showing her lots of affection if you can & let her know you care - I know it's hard to do that when she seems so miserable with you, but you don't know what's going on inside her head.
Hope things work out for you.

Answer 10

First of all try to take things easy and talk to her in a nice way .Try to understand what's really bothering her you're going to have only one mum during your lifetime .So don't lose her and concentrate on important matters such as your education, work ,whatever keeps you busy most of the time .If there's still no hope then don't waste your life trying to please her .Move out and keep in touch with her always .Best of luck .