If Jesus came back tomorrow with his cross and his wounds of crucifixion and offered free bread and fish to all Christians, you wanna bet they will run to McDonald's for their greasy junk food and scorn the saviour of the Christian World?
Who would want to go near the crucified and get the stench up their nostrils even if it was free Macs or KFC he was offerring?
If Mel's Passion of Jesus could have produced smell effects you would see how many Christians would have stayed away from the movie.
Who would want to see their saviour walking up to Golgotha naked and sweating and bleeding and breathing violently knowing that he didn't have a wash since the day before and that he had to go and get his legs crossed to squeeze his manhood between his legs and have his feet nailed so that the upper foot locked his legs in a standing position.
"Eli Eli, its all a big lie," and then Christ would come and deny all who told their many wonderful lies about him.
Amen!
2006-08-19 21:42:49 · 11 answers · asked by mythkiller-zuba 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thanks for the nicest set of answers I ever received on Yahoo. Makes me feel to think up some more nice questions.
All those Chrissies who say they love Jesus cant even begin to understand what they are saying.
The Bible tells them that the hanging is an accursed death,"he that is hanged is accursed of God" in Deut. 21, yet they never stop to ask, why would any God, even a half human, half monkey Hindu God, have a son only to curse him with a horribly accursed death.
And why would any immortal being want off-spring?
But the idea behind the bread and fish miracle is Zeus the Sun God and his Twelve months in the year, since the year depends on the Sun for the Sunday worshippers, hence Jesus and his twelve disciples, and the four seasons of the year(oops) the Four Gospels. Voila!
The 12 baskets of fragments, the 5 loaves and 2 fishes to feed 5 thousand , and that equas 12. See Zeus again?
And this miracle is repeated in all four Gospels, unlike any other? Lets have fun and love it.
2006-08-21 23:47:41 · update #1
Bread and fish helped make Jesus a God, plus his healing of the lame and the blind and the woman with the issue of blood.
See? He even treated women with kindness unlike today's Christians who make women the curse of mankind whose husbands get drunk and beat them up and whose bosses demand sexual favours on the job to keep the job.
With this dude there will be no more pain and no more hunger, so they made him JeZeus, and he didn't die for their sins he just gave them free food and healed their little illnesses, and that's how lazy the Gentiles were in those days, but today, they make a God of a man who Bombs the **** out of poor countries who have no bombs and no planes to defend themselves, and his slaves worship him although he doesn't give them free food and doesn't give a **** about their health.
If the crucified thieves were to come back with bread and fish they'll get stoned to death by the worshippers of Zeus.
Hail George, the King of Bombs!
2006-08-26 00:08:14 · update #2
i dont know if that was supposed to be funny, but it is! LOL
2006-08-19 21:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by Fluffington Cuddlebutts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even consider eating anything a dead person offered me. I have a VERY hard time understanding why people the world over celebrate the horror of crucifixion.
"Eli Eli, its all a big lie," and then Christ would come and deny all who told their many wonderful lies about him."
If Christ were to come back I wonder what he would say to all of those "Good Christians" who committed murder in his name.
I liked your question, it's too bad most people won't stop and think about your question.
2006-08-19 22:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by eccentriclady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I appreciate the sentiment behind your post, but remember, before the true Christ will come again, antichrist must first be revealed.
This indicates that the Christ in your scenario would necessarily be a fake christ, the antichrist, who would deceive the whole world.
Be careful with these types of things. People are confused enough already.
2006-08-19 23:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a big fan of bread and fish ... cheese too. One of my dreams is to spend a couple weeks riding around the countryside of France and other European on a train ... eating the delicious breads, cheeses, and drinking a lot of nice wine.
Seducing cute French girls in the baggage car.
I really enjoy seafood ... fish, crab, lobster, scallops, clams, shrimp ... a bountiful harvest. I don't get as much in my regular diet as would be best ... chicken and beef are much cheaper.
So ...
Jesus ... if you can hear me ... send me FISH!
And bread ... I like a good sourdough or Jewish rye.
2006-08-19 22:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by Arkangyle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you're playing gross out with the smells, you might as well toss in the flies that were sure to have been feeding on his blood at the crucifixion.
2006-08-19 21:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by Kuji 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i had a choice between your very researched jesus and mc donalds, I would take Jesus. I effing hate mc dondalds and I love jesus.
2006-08-19 21:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by de rak 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How could God ever die?
2006-08-19 21:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like fish.
2006-08-19 21:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think Christ himself is EVER gonna come back, so hell, whatever you say LOL it was pretty funny
2006-08-19 21:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like fish.
2006-08-19 21:47:36 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Pears 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋