2006-08-19 21:37:08 · 11 answers · asked by Happy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I hope this was just a question and not happening to you.
Sometimes when young men are cutting the apron strings they cut back a bit on allowing moms to be overly motherly. That is only a seperation from mom stage and once they feel they have lessened the need of mom they will begin to enjoy the time and quanity of time they spend with you.
Sometimes mothers are fortunate enough to have a loving self-confident daughter-in-law who does not feel burdened or threatened by her mother-in-law. And then... there are daughters-in-laws who want to establish territorial boundaries right off. This type will schedule all Holidays and vacations around her mother's home and her schedule. She will set you up to hurt and alienate your son. I think when this happens it is a result of 1st. your son expressing his loyality and love of you.Which to an imature and insecure young woman translates to she's the # 2 woman and thus competition sets in. Do not engage in this. You can not and will not win . Maybe it's too late for any one to un-ring the bell. Leave it alone for now and on birthdays anad holidays send sweet family cards with just an I love and miss you all signed on. No lengthy letters or issues. When they are ready to have you re-enter their lives they will invite you. Your son actually has the responsibility to mediate and set boundries for you all. He is not doing this for whatever reason. but until he does, you can not win. There are no winners. I'd go to Dr. Phil's site and look up episodes that fit your situation since you do elaborate here about specifics. Good Luck
2006-08-20 00:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Makingwishes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd back off, humbly ask my son why, deal with what I can, and leave the rest to GOD.
You must not let selfishness get the better of you and hurt your grandson. We do so much with little or no consideration for the consequences of our actions. Then we wonder why the world is full of so many hurting people!
Respect the decisions of your son, show your love through gifts on their birthdays, at Christmas, etc, and wait for time to heal all wounds.
2006-08-19 22:38:48 · answer #2 · answered by ChildofGrace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother is going through this with my brother. He harbours some resentment from his childhood & thinks she will inflict the same hurt upon his kids.
My mother in law is ruining her relationship with her son (my man) & I because she knows her other son's girlfriend will stop her from seeing her grand daughter if she has a close relationship with us. Its sad & rather pathetic, but all you can do is either accept it or try to find out what the wound is & heal it.
Is it your sons decision or his wife's? If there is no real reason for them denying you, then truely all you can do it be patient. Keep sending birthday cards & christmas cards. They might grow up one day.
best of luck, it cannot be easy for you.
2006-08-19 21:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better seriously look at your values, behavior, and attitude. For a son to take such a stance is an indictment of your character. You better figure out why and address the problem.
2006-08-19 21:43:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well ladie you must of done something really bad to get that kind of treatment....
I did that to my mother in law because she need it... I still can't stand her till this day and its been 8 years....now mind you i talk to her and all................but deep down inside i can't stand her....
now if mine would change i would love to have her in my life...
You have to put what ever problem you have with any of them aside...... because of the little boy...... you want to be a grandma right..... then check this out............ don't bother with the adults say hi and by.... you know what i mean............... you ask them the usual stuff.........(example) oh how are you . of i've missed you all so much.....(smile) invite them to sunday dinner at least 1 or 2 a month call every now and then say you have not heard from them and you wanted to know if all is well and ask to speak to the baby............your only concern is the baby.... in order to get to the baby you have to go through the partents...... ladie your gonna have to lie your as* off in order to have anything to do with this child..............the next best thing is to pray about this problem....ask god to help them open their heart to you and change what ever in you that they don't like...and if you have a problem with them you need to fix it while your praying ...... now remember everything doesn't change over night and God is not going to answer you right away........ take your time and do it right the first time.......
Good luck
2006-08-19 21:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by lapeachroses 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There must be some reason why they behave like that but i firmly believe if you want to change things that influence your life is to have some patience and keep on trying to win them over with love
2006-08-19 21:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by jjtrdx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See you, wouldn't want to be you!
Seriously, though you need to find out why? And I guess just repsct their wishes. In some states, granparents have rights. So you might want to do some research.
2006-08-19 21:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by whoanelly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to figure out what went wrong. or what u did or are currently doing to make them come to that decision. people dont make those kinds of choices without some big reason
2006-08-19 21:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There must be a very good reason why they would not want you in their lives. I would try and address those issues.
2006-08-19 21:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by georgia1980 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
something happened, what? that needs to b reloved, and if it cant be, then step back for a bit, blood it thicker then water, on day he wil call
2006-08-19 21:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋