ok i just want to know how to i keep a happy relationship with my bf and ignore his brother who lives with us.he does things in the house to try to cause arguements and my bf doesnt want to get involved as he is always feeling like being in the middle i dont want to move out as me and the bf hopefully plan to get a place of our own and the rent is cheap and besides if the brother-in-law doesnt like me surely he can move out no one is forcing him to stay there unless its an african thing were familys stick together i dont see why i have to back down and move out when i am not the one with the problem. my bf doesnt like it when i complain to much about thebrother and his stupid ways so maybe i should stop complaining and ignore it and my relationship with my bf will be much better coz mayb the br-in-law is doing these things to wind me up. i dont think he even has the slighest care about me. wot do you guys think ignore him and b happy with bf .
2006-08-19 21:12:36 · 18 answers · asked by sexy babes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
how old is the brother? If he is young then there is not a lot you can do but if he is old enough encourage him to find a place of his own! He's gonna have to find a place at some point may as well be now!!!
2006-08-21 01:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by Little minx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What U have stated is an onesided alligation about Ur Brother-In- Law. U have never cited any example to let us justify if U R correct or its Your Brother-In-Law, who is correct.
We have the habbit to see and judge differenf situations through our own Eyes and this relative difference of approach is the root cause of all differences. Its not only with Brother-In-Law, Sister-In-Law, but also with parents too. Our relative approach towards different situations, based on our age, thought, literacy level, and based on the effect of the generation in which we grow up, bears their effect on our thought process.
In these situations, we feel "I am correct, the other is wrong". Thats the same belief on either side. So, Its not a stray incident, It happens everywhere, everyday to patch it up, we call adjustment. First we try that, If not possible, Someone has to move out till a healthy difference is created from where we cannot fight each other. Thats called SPACE.
This SPACE is also required among the Husband and the wife.
Apart from being Lover >> Wife, U r also a being. U have Ur own likings, friends and obligations. U wont allow Ur Parents or Ur Hubby to enter that Domain thats very much yours (Till that harms ur personal relations). If any one enters that domain forcibly, U feel embarrased, and believe me, thats the root cause of most of the marriage breaking up reasulting in Divorce.
As for Ur Brother-In-Law, without knowing his background (About age, literacy, dependence ,etc.) It cannot be justified where lies his cause of restlessness.
If Generalized, I can say that mostly, Teenage boys get into this type of problem if they see their brother/friend getting a GF and he is with none. Its not his fault really, Its the Human chemistry that make him react that way. In Puberty boys and Girls develop this type of symptoms.
In this time, the more U treat him/her bad, the more they hate U, more mad the be.
Forget him being Ur BF's brother, feel he is Ur own brother and as a sister, try to feel his pain , where is that? Try to help him get rid of that problem , I feel he would be the most obedient of U after that and love U more as a brother. make him feel that U R his friend and sister at the same time. If U can do that, I would feel U have achieved something. If still U cant, then think of letting him be on his own and U move out with Ur Hubby. If U 2 move out, that doesnt mean U R at fault or U R not being able to share something on which U have equal right. U R just giving Ur share to Ur brother as U 2 have the capacity and can arrange Ur own. So treat that way. But first, lets try to get our brother love and respect all. Its our responsibility tohelp him to achieve that.
2006-08-19 23:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by Prasun B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not ignore him, as he will only treat you worse. Be nice to him, although he may strain your patience. And make sure he notices that you're putting in an effort to try and connect with him. Getting to know him a bit may clue you into why he's behaving the way he is.
If the nice way doesn't work, tell your bfriend that his brother made a pass at you. That should have him 'evicted'. Heh heh.But you know I'm kiddin' about that one, don't you? But serisously, I'm not.
2006-08-19 21:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by mukeshgp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying goes like this, “Blood is thicker than water.” Your bf will forever be tied to his brother and whether you and your bf will be together forever remains to be seen. So, try to tolerate the brother while making plans to get a place of your own - you need to get away from the brother and have your own place.
2006-08-19 21:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a "poop stirrer". you have defined somebody who seems to be afflicted by low vanity and at some point feels powerless. What could make her experience efficient is having bits of information that no person else does...gossip. She would not care if what she passes on is actual or advise-lively it nevertheless places interest on her. you may effectively take care of people like the guy you have defined in only one way, and that's in an extremely direct way. in case you permit her be conscious of which you at the instant are not drawn to enticing in risky conversations approximately yet another man or woman, she would be waiting to depart you on my own. whilst she starts to tell you something, at as quickly as strengthen your hand with palm dealing with her at approximately eye point...as though to give up her. you would be stunned how this gesture will give up her in her tracks....it extremely is in basic terms such an unpredicted command. Then only state you at the instant are not drawn to listening to gossip, then turn and walk away. Being direct with this man or woman and letting her be conscious of what your innovations are won't make you speedy associates, yet, nevertheless, why might you desire to be-pal a man or woman like this besides? If others see you behave in this variety in the direction of her, they might start to offer her an identical therapy.
2016-12-14 08:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by sameeruddin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make like the guy doesn't exist... and if he starts to leave stuff around, move furniture etc to irritate you, make like you have a ghost in the house you can do nothing about.
at the end of the day he will get bored and will probably move out. chances are that three is a crowd and this is his way of dealing with it.
2006-08-19 21:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by sofiarose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your brother in law sees you as a threat and that you will split him up from his brother. Try to help him get a girlfriend surly you have some single friends. Trust me if you get his attention on something else he will forget about you and his brother.
2006-08-19 21:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by simjam31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there before but in different shoes. Blood is not thicker that water BTW. Do not antagonise, be pleasant and try to get on. Try to make use of his name to underline the fact that your is not being used. That is all you can do to get on in any relationship.
2006-08-19 22:11:48 · answer #8 · answered by mairimac158 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u got tht right lol just ignore ur bro in law and things will b fine if its still worse thn talk to him abt it don worry
2006-08-19 21:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by dj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
th only possible reason for your boyfriends bro to try and create problems is because he likes you. tell your bf's bro that you do not like him and that if he respects his bro at all to leave you alone. PERIOD.
2006-08-19 21:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by rewqfdsavxczrewqfdsavxcz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋