My bf is tired from work stress and load..and it seems that im on more to the hyper sex drive side..but i tried to cut down asking from him nowadays..
Till we had a couple of tiffs regarding having sex..i suspect i lost my sex appeal but he said its just that he's tired..he wants to sleep..There's some time that i tried arousing him to have sex with me but still it doesn't work. I don't think he's cheating behind me, but i just want to know on how to make a guy want to have sex with you more. i need sex alot...and i'm not lying..
The most important thing is that, after all the tiffs we had..Now whenever i had with him, no matter is i initiate or its him, i feel he's just 'entertaining' me in order not to have arguements about sex anymore..how to dorp that mind set?it affect me alot during sex when i have that thinking...
2006-08-19 20:55:57 · 26 answers · asked by barelyahrie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your boyfriend is struggling to meet all of the needs in his life. He is probably a very loving caring person and if someone asks for his help then he probably immediately and willingly tries to help them. But this highly responsive approach to helping other people with their expressed needs is wearing him out. And he is probably neglecting many, if not most, of his own needs. Perhaps he only tends to his own needs when things are getting desparate. This means that his coping and management styles are not working very well for him and he needs to rework the way he copes and manages in many situations. He is always offering help to other people but the one who really needs a lot of help is him. Talk to him about all of this. Find out what he wants and what he thinks needs to happen if things are to get better for him. Find out what he wants short term, medium term and long term. Find out what he thinks he should do and whether he thinks that he can do it. Try to help him to implement his own best advice. Try to help him overcome obstacles that are preventing him from doing what he wants to do or what he believes he should do. Support him unconditionally and sit on your own needs for a while if you can. Sexually you need to find some kind of compromise. He might actually enjoy sex if it were only once per week for the time being and until he recovers. Buy sex toys and learn to pleasure yourself extremely well. Explore the many ways of pleasuring yourself but check with your boyfriend as to whether he would prefer you to pleasure yourself in private or with him lying next to you (he may prefer privacy just because he wants to relax, rest and sleep). Most women like vibrators and there are some interesting type on the market. And if necessary or if wanted or if seen as a good idea then get some professional help. I am a Counsellor, a Life Coach and a Life Skills Trainer. Anyone with all three of these skills would be ideal. Good luck.
Martin Camden.
martincamden@hotmail.com
2006-08-19 21:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by optimaxim 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there is not one guy i know that is going to turn down his girlfriend's offer of sex any time and way he wants. that is a guy's dream come true. i don't care how tired they are, they ar going to have sex! i know you don't think so, but you need to think about the possibility of him cheating. he could be having sex with someone else and because his desires have been taken care of by some one else, he doesn't feel the need to have sex when he gets home. i don't mean to worry you like that, but you need to consider that. ask him is there anything that you could do to help him get his energy back. if he tells you, then do it. if he can't give you an answer, consider he doesn't have all that work he says he has.
2006-08-20 04:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kokoa 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try getting him to eat healthy food (fruits, vegetables, grains, lean meat, etc.) and a multivitamin. Show him you're concerned and you care for him, and he'll love you more for it and he'll probably come around (no pun intended :-) If he changes his diet he will have more energy. Also, take care of yourself to become more attractive to him (make sure he knows you're doing it for him, or he might become insecure). If you can get him to agree to it, pumpkin seeds (which are sold in stores, and will also be available fresh in a couple of months) will give him more energy because they are a good source of zinc (which makes them function as a mild aphrodesiac). Something you can do too is maybe do something that will tire you out so you won't want to have sex so badly. But try to be kind and understanding to him, and take care of him. If he's begun to regard sex as a chore, showing him you care about him and want him to be happy will surely help reverse the situation. Also, try to get him to lighten his work load and cut out the stress, because that is not helping. Good luck!
2006-08-20 04:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean... but i bet you don't suspect him of being with another gurl you are sexy and what he wants, he is probably just going through a dry spell, the best thing you can do is just get on him and ride out what you want, don't let your self go un satisfied he is a man and he has need s too, if he doesn't meat them you've always got yourself (wink) if you love him and he loves you well... love Will find a Way as they say ,if not. reevaluate the situationship... every long relationship hits a dry spell at some point, best of luck... ps, sexy lignerie and handuffs are dealy secret weapons don't hesitate to use them tiger!
2006-08-20 04:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's always difficult to get a balance in life. Life could be stress and tought to him, and no everyone can balance work and sex. Most important is he still love you, you probably don't want a guy who only want sex, but don't want to work? No every can get a balance, including you yourselve.
2006-08-20 22:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never beent too tired for sex and I dont know any guys who wouldnt trade good sex over sleep any day. I think there may be a poblem, but I may have a solution. I have never met a woman that could keep up with me so if you guys break up contact me!
2006-08-20 04:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hummmmm.....guys can be stressed out so maybe he is telling the truth and he is tired. Have you tried hitting him up for some when he wakes up in the morning? No better way to start off the day. Also, does he have the weekends off? Of coarse if worse comes to worse you can always pleasure yourself and wait for time with him.
Good luck.
2006-08-20 04:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by Mav 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
start something while he is sleeping but make sure he is rested like before he wakes up in the morn, you know when he has to wake up forget the alarm clock and you be his wake up call. just go down and stroke him and wheh he wakes up arroused and rested how can he refuse. But stress does really affect sex, so maybe a message or doing it in the shower might be better
2006-08-20 04:04:01 · answer #8 · answered by valentin32 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you just sit down with him and have a conversation about how you feel. Then listen to what he has to say about the matter and after all is said and done you both can come to your conclusions.
2006-08-20 03:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by Chris H 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talking it out w/him might help.
If that doesn't help, try to talk it out w/a counselor on your own.
If that doesn't help, try to talk it out w/a counselor together.
If that doesn't help, then it would seem you have the choice of either adjusting to the level of sex he wants, or finding a new boyfriend... one that's going to match the level you want.
2006-08-20 04:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Kimberley Mc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋