I was wit this guy for almost a year it was bad real bad. he's addicted to pot but i love him. he's kinda a liar and he'd lie so he could smoke weed. He was always choosing weeed over me so evntually i broke it off. Untill 2 months ago. i was lonely and started seeing him again. He was still smokin pot but i made myself believe things were better. He started goin bak to old habits and choosing weed over me. It hurt so i kinda stopped seeing him. now he wants me bak and im tryin not to give in but i miss him. please help me snap out of it!!!
2006-08-19 20:18:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, take a deep breath and picture this:
10 years later: you are in a horrible marriage that no counseling will help, five children living on welfare, a unemployed hubby with bad credit, a dingy shack in some poor district where car shootings are commonplace, a cheap car, being abused mentally and physically, and working five jobs. Can you imagine?
What do you see in him anyways?
Think of the consequences of getting dumped by such a egoist who thinks nothing of you.
Try this: ask him to stop if he really loves you. If he doesn't even attempt to try, you know he isn't worth any of your efforts. Don't go to the same level as him. Don't feel sorry for him. You think of him as a crutch for you. Be an independent woman, find a strong, stable guy who shares the same ideas and loves you.
YOU ARE STRONG!
Good luck! (leave the drug-boy)
Listen to this advice.
2006-08-19 20:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by starrynight107 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I will have to play the devil's advocate because my boyfriend recently just broke up with me and I was devasted. I know there were a variety of reasons, we both fell into a depression, he lost his sex drive ect ... but the biggest problem is that I chose to deal with all of this by becoming an alcoholic. He is no angel when he drinks and we have had some pretty bad raging fights but I know that if I used alcohol as a way to have fun rather than a way to forget my problems then we wouldn't be where we are now. It sucks because even though I know the truth, now that we are broken up I am turning to alcohol even more to get through it. He might want you back because well, he probably loves you or he wouldn't go through the bs of trying to get you back. What you have to understand is the reason why he is smoking pot. I don't judge anyone and I think alcohol and weed are completely fine in moderation if they are used in check and they nly inhance your life rather than become a detriment to it. I don't know if you smoke but it sounds like you don't. If you do, smoke with him more often. If you don't, tell him that he is going to have to choose between the substance or you. That kind of honestly is going to be really hard because he obviously loves weed yet loves you. Actually, an ultimatum might be a little harsh so maybe ask him why he feels the need to smoke so much. Does he become a completely different person when he smokes? Do you love him enough to try to see him through recovery? Also, are you only wanting him back because you are lonely? My boyfriend and I only broke up a week and a half ago and I was devasted. Not because I was blindsided or anything but because while it was really bad I thought that we would always work through it. Now that I am a little over the sadness and anger (thought I know they will peek their heads in there in the future) the thing that I am starting to realize is that I stayed with him for as long as I did because I couldn't imagine my life without him. While love should be the strongest, most passionate thing in your life, you can't lose sight of yourself. If he really makes you unhappy when you are with him then it is not worth the trouble or the pain. If you are just lonely and want to be with him then you need to go out and find someone that knows you can make them happier than any substance out there. (Some say love is a drug, some say love can do crazy things ... who really knows?) The point is, if you really miss him, miss HIM ... not just being with someone so you don't have to live life alone then it is worth the fight. But while you say you miss him, what is it that you miss? The fights about the pot? The lying about the pot? The fact that he doesn't make you feel good because he is always choosing pot over you? I understand where you are coming from because I'm wondering what is going to happen once I completely detach myself from my boyfriend (we are living together through the break up which makes it even worse) if he will want me back and if he does, what will I say. Because even though I am devasted, that devastation is rather from our complete failure. I know that I drink because I am either bored, sad, angry or scared to be with myself to realize that I hate who I am at the moment. These reasons are a lot of the reasons that people smoke pot. Pot is fun but if you are losing friendships/family/or girlfriends/boyfriends over it, it's not just about the fun. I wish you luck and lastly, if you are asking someone to snap you out of it then you need to snap yourself out of it. Because, you obviously know you can't trust yourself when it comes to him because that need to be with him or even someone is stronger then the need to do what is best for yourself.
2006-08-20 03:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by caroline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're going back to him because you haven't convinced yourself that you deserve better. When someone truly believes something... then they are in control of themselves. I dont think you are. If you go back to him, and you know its wrong, then you are doing it because you dont think you have other choices (or at least better choices).
My advice, stop asking us what to do when the answer is obvious. If he wasn't good enough for you twice, then why put yourself through that again? How many times must you get burned before you learn the stove is hot?
Remember, there are at least 3 billion guys out there.... 3 BILLION! Stop wasting your time with one of the losers. The more time you WASTE with him, the less likely you will find someone later... remember... the good ones get snatched up early for a reason (that reason is that others already learned how f***ing hot the stove was and they stopped touching it).
2006-08-20 03:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by the_thoughtless_ponderer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a simple matter...just drop him. Like the saying goes...fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Do you really think things will change if you get back with him. I'm sorry, the fact of the matter is that if he really wanted to be with you, he would have stopped the second time around. Not to mention smoking pot is an addition, one that will get him nowhere, and even worst, get you in trouble for his personal choice. Trust me, there are more fish in the sea that would be worth more of your time!!!
2006-08-20 03:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by lsuatlargechair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question you need to ask yourself is: do you believe It is right to give him a 3rd chance after what he did twice to you? to be honest I don't, but if you can make him stop smoking weed you might do an even greater good. Good luck with your choice and remember there are also other guys around who don't smoke weed!
2006-08-20 03:39:54 · answer #5 · answered by Dreamcaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first..Make up your mind. You wana stick with him?Then bear the burden of playing a second fiddle to his pot. Tired of being the "next best thing to pot", then be strong and fix your credibility. Stop breaking up with him and then getting back with him. BE strong, he isn't the last man for you on earth. Im sure you're a pretty girl, you deserve to be in a better situation.Good luck!
2006-08-20 03:23:48 · answer #6 · answered by toniisnolongerbrokenhearted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anyone is choosing a "WEED" over "YOU" then they're not worth it. I mean come on... so it relaxes you, and so it gets you high.. but what good is that if you just sit on your a$$ all day doing nothing and you don't wanna spend time with your girl. BORING! if you're going to do it.. do it in moderation, otherwise you are oblivious to the things that mean the most to you.
2006-08-20 03:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by phishycoding 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him keep seeing him and then call the cops on him when he has been smoking pot so he gets busted and hopefully if will scare him into stopping and if you love him then it will hurt but its for his one safety
2006-08-20 03:30:47 · answer #8 · answered by n_jevne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you can't for yourself. if any one ever puts something infront of the peson there with, there not worth it, you can't afford to keep being second to anything. a druggie is a druggie until he's not. but that ain't now move on. i don;t know you but i know you don't need this
2006-08-20 03:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by valentin32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its up to you if you want to go throught it all again. read more tips on dating and relationships on this site
2006-08-20 03:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋